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Psychological profile of the emotional blackmailer, in 5 traits and habits

Psychological profile of the emotional blackmailer, in 5 traits and habits

June 13, 2024

The emotional blackmailer is a type of person used to manipulating others to achieve personal benefits. That is, he has become accustomed to using methods to limit the decision-making power of his victims to lead them to a certain decision.

But nevertheless, there are some characteristics that distinguish emotional blackmailers from another class of manipulators and, in fact, in many ways they are more difficult to detect than normal. That's why it's good to know some warning signs to identify the patterns of behavior that betray these people.

  • Related article: "Manipulators have these 5 traits in common"

The profile of the emotional blackmailer

Not all emotional blackmailers have to present all these characteristics, although they tend to present a good part of them. Keep in mind that emotional blackmail is not a personality trait, but a way of relating, or relational dynamics , which has been learned and internalized, often even almost unconsciously.

That means that the range of personality types behind emotional blackmailers may vary, although some are more likely than others to fall for this type of behavior. So, to recognize the emotional blackmailers is not so important to study the personality of the other, but see in real time how he interacts with others .

Let's move on to the traits and habits of the emotional blackmailer.

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1. They show vulnerabilities artificially

It is very typical of emotional blackmailers to talk about or tacitly refer to their own weaknesses even when that does not fit well with the subject of which one is speaking.

It is relatively normal to talk in a disruptive way about what makes us sad or what makes us feel "weak", since many times we need to take advantage of any moment of social interaction to express our feelings. However, in emotional blackmailers this has become a habit and occurs more often than usual.

Normally, this kind of "free" and out of context comments can be interpreted as a warning signal that the other person feels very bad, instead of recognizing in them a strategy to manipulate. The following habit allows to better distinguish what is really happening.

2. Victim comments are aimed at a few people

Emotional blackmailers do not make this kind of pessimistic comments to anyone with whom they have confidence, but only to those to whom they want to manipulate.

This is something that reveals the instrumental eagerness of this behavior; it's not just asking for help , but to make someone in particular do something determined.

3. The instrumental use of hints

Emotional blackmailers use ambiguity in their favor to get certain people to start thinking they have cause to feel guilty. That's why they usually resorting to hints published on social networks in a public or almost public way , relatively short texts (to make sure they are read in their entirety).

Given the uncertainty of whether the message is directed to oneself and the tension that this produces, we tend to abandon the logical thinking style and move on to use soft thinking, that is, intuitive and based on the emotional.

In this way, the emotional blackmailers get a very curious effect; As we notice that we feel bad in the face of uncertainty, we interpret that discomfort produced by the ambiguity of the message as a sign of our guilt.

4. The spread of the rumor of the conflict

Emotional blackmailers will rarely express signs of anger or enmity towards the people they want to manipulate, but they can inoculate the idea of ​​unresolved tension spreading rumors through the person's social circle .

For example, before others, and privately, can make statements that show a certain sadness by the distance or the alleged indifference that is supposedly making the victim a colder, individualistic and self-centered person. All this, of course, is not explained directly, but by insinuations.

When a few people in our social circle have perceived this idea, it is easier to assume that all others are right and that one is wrong . If we analyzed more what others believe about us, we would conclude that they too have been manipulated as a strategy to affect us indirectly.However, the "law of silence" and social conventions make it difficult to investigate the matter.

5. Disconcerting passive-aggressive attitude

The emotional blackmailers they do not use the passive-aggressive attitude constantly, but at key moments , so that its use has more powerful effects.

This means that on certain occasions the other person will act as if he did not expect anything from the victim, in a theatrical way that seems to mean the opposite: "you could be doing much more for me".

10 Types of Emotional Manipulation (June 2024).

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