Relationships at a distance: 10 difficult to endure problems
Relationships at a distance are a growing phenomenon in an interconnected and globalized world . The overcrowding of Internet use multiplies the opportunities to meet someone living in a distant country and, as always, love does not understand approaches based on the usefulness of starting a relationship with a person.
However, some argue that the possibility of maintaining daily contact with someone who lives far away or has the option to emigrate it is really a trap . On the one hand, it makes it possible to meet many more people, but on the other it easily leads to frustration. It is possible that several decades ago the practical impossibility of maintaining long distance relationships led us to live more isolated, but at least those we knew, normally, we could see them more frequently, since they lived in the same town, city or district.
And it is that maintaining relationships at a distance is a psychological challenge.
Problems of remote relationships
People who have long-distance relationships often talk about the first phases as a period in which the illusion of falling in love It is mixed with the anticipation of the problems that will arise later due to the fact of remaining separated from the couple. They feel "stuck" or "stuck" in an unforeseen situation but that little by little has become an extra concern: making the relationship viable.
All relationships in general can be the origin of certain problems of greater or lesser intensity, but distance relationships, in particular, have some characteristics that make them more prone to encounter certain obstacles or uncomfortable situations. These are the main ones.
1. The uncertainty
The perception that the distance between two people is in itself a source of problems that will always be there while the relationship is at a distance is, paradoxically, another problem. This is so becausee serves as an excuse for pessimistic thoughts to appear , anticipations of a traumatic love outcome or a rarefied environment that will gradually distance the members of the couple.
2. Possible source of lack of commitment
Assuming that the chances of the relationship not prospering are high, it is more possible that lovers are more reluctant to truly commit , for what it could happen. In a way, our expectations about what will happen in the future affect what we feel in the present, causing us to "adapt" so as not to expose ourselves so much to receiving a severe psychological blow.
This can be perceived by the other person as a lack of interest, which generates discussions and general malaise.
3. Jealousy
Jealousy is not an essential ingredient of relationships, but people predisposed to be jealous have their achilles heel in distance relationships , in which information about what the other person does is scarce. If this jealousy passes a certain threshold, the paranoid thoughts cause the person to adopt a possessive and totally toxic role, which harms his partner.
- Related article: "Sick jealousy: 10 common signs among extremely jealous people"
4. The planning of the meetings
The need to have in mind a calendar of meetings in which the sacrifices made by both members of the couple are equal is a source of stress. In many cases it is a slight annoyance, but in other cases it can generate real stress crises to combine studies and work with these breaks .
5. The feeling of guilt
In some remote relationships the feeling of guilt is one of the frequent sources of discomfort . The reason is that sometimes some people believe that they are not doing enough to see their partner more often and to make the days that are spent physically together are well used.
Perfectionism and the desire to make these periods compensate for the discomfort of being separated for a long time often cause disillusionment and frustration to appear when the proposed (idealized) expectations have not been met.
6. Problems to enjoy time together
The anticipation of the temporary goodbye makes many times you can not enjoy the time spent with the couple . For example, if a getaway is planned for a week in a foreign country, it is possible that during the last two or three days the sadness will take over the experience.
This makes it more complicated to turn the moments together into something happy, which little by little is being associated with unhappiness attributable to a couple that does not suit us.
7. Lack of physical contact
It's one of the big drawbacks, and is based on the lack of moments of intimacy, eye contact and caresses that are usually necessary not only to feel good , but also to make the relationship mature and mutual knowledge to be enriched thanks to non-verbal language.
8. The limitations of communication channels
The communication channels through which the contact is maintained in a remote relationship can present problems: little frequency of telephone consultation, lack of coverage, limitations on Internet access, etc. This can generate situations of stress at specific moments where you get to think that the other person might be having problems.
8. Ignorance of social circles
In many cases the members of a distance relationship are in areas that are halfway to their places of residence, or they spend time together alone. This means that they do not get to know well the social circles in which the other person moves , losing the opportunity not only to make new friendships but also to see the social aspect of their partner from another point of view.
10. Potential boredom
The inconveniences mentioned above, added to the fact that they often spend their time alone, make these moments of direct contact occur in a context of isolation and, sometimes, a certain monotony. A cost-benefit analysis can make the moments spent together seem insignificant or irrelevant.
