Resentful people: 10 traits and attitudes that characterize them
We have all come across spiteful people throughout our lives . Whether it's from a friend, partner or family member. The latter, unlike the first two, do not choose them, so we may have to face a complex situation.
On the other hand, it is common that when a love relationship is broken, and due to the intensity of the feelings characteristic of this type of relationship, a great resentment appears towards the other person. At least until we accept the break.
The difference between spite and revenge
The resentment It is a type of moral damage, for which we feel offended and want revenge. Emotions arise such as hatred, anger and the desire to make the other person pay what he has done to us (or we think he has made us).
But is the same spite and revenge? We could say that resentment is the feeling that they have hurt us, but revenge is when we behave in a hostile manner and we want the other person to suffer the consequences of having hurt us. Grudge and revenge often go hand in hand, although the latter does not always materialize.
Characteristics of spiteful people
But what characterizes a resentful person? How can we recognize these types of individuals? These are the 10 traits or attitudes that characterize spiteful people .
1. Neither forgive nor forget
The spiteful people usually say that they forgive ... but they do not forget . In reality, neither forgive nor forget, because if they really forgive, they would forget. The fact of not forgiving means that what happened is still present and that is why they feel that way. The best way to forget something is to forgive. And forgiveness, although sometimes it costs us to see it, is necessary to maintain emotional balance.
Regarding this, you may be interested in our article: "Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the one who hurt me?"
2. They do not learn from the past
The spiteful people they do not learn from the past and they stay stuck in the events that have happened to them . Instead of seeing bad experiences as opportunities to grow, they take everything as something personal, which makes it impossible for them to move forward.
3. They think they are never wrong
This type of individuals they think they are perfect and that they do not make mistakes . They are not very tolerant and too rigid and when someone does not act as they want, they tend to be very hard on others. We all have the right to make mistakes, it is part of life.
4. Everything is white or black
These individuals they move at the ends: either everything is white or everything is black . In other words, there is no middle ground. Good-bad does not always always explain what happens in interpersonal relationships, because many variables influence our behavior.
5. They are very proud
Because they are intransigent people, spiteful people are proud too. At the minimum they take it as something personal and think that they are being stuck. That makes them defensive and try to be strong. The truth is that being a proud individual does not have to be an indicator of being a mentally strong person, but it is a symptom of weakness.
To stop being a proud person you can read our article: "5 tips to stop being so proud".
6. Always wish to have control
The spiteful people are usually people who want to have everything under control. They do not feel comfortable talking and do not accept that others have their opinion and a different taste. As has been said before, they are intransigent and everything has to fit into their perception of the perfect world.
7. They get offended easily
And of course, when this does not happen they are easily offended. Deep down, resentment is a way of not accepting things and, in fact, may even mask one's insecurities. Resentment is not good because it keeps the wound open for a long time. The best thing is to accept and turn the page.
8. They always want to be right
But the insecurity also is linked to the desire to have everything under control and always want to be right . Unsafe people fear the opinions of others and do not feel comfortable when they are put to the test by others. They always want to be right and when this does not happen they do not accept it.
9. Life is a drama for them
When we keep the grudge in our hearts, life is not a pleasant place, because you constantly remember what they have done to you and, instead of overcoming it, you recreate yourself in it. The spiteful people They tend to be resentful towards more than one person and, therefore, turn their lives into a drama .
10. Believe themselves better than others
As has already been said, rancor can be understood as the non-acceptance of what happened and the feeling that we have been harmed. But it does not stop being the perception on how they have treated us . If we take iron out of the matter, it will hardly affect us.Now, if we believe ourselves better than others and think that only they do things wrong, we will give more value than what has happened.
Everyone can change
If you know someone spiteful or if you yourself have some features described, do not worry . A change of attitude can make you see the life of another color and improve your personal relationships. If you see that you have more difficulties than expected to solve this attitude, you can always go to a psychotherapist who can help you.