Sex between friends consolidates friendship
The possibility of have sex with a friend It is always a theme taboo . Our culture seems to lecture us on the basis of topics forged on the big screen: sex between friends ruins friendship.
Intimate relationships between friends: a utopia?
But is that true, or is it merely a mere invention? Have we become accustomed to drawing too rigid a line between friendship and sex?
A few months ago we were wondering if there can be friendship "without more" between a man and a woman. Today we ask the question in reverse: What happens when two friends have sex?
Science defends the importance of maintaining relationships with friends
Several studies argue that having a night of passionate sex with a friend is not only not harmful, but that could strengthen the relationship . Therefore, we should no longer ponder and choose between one thing or the other.
The reflection that most people usually do in this regard is that, once a sexual relationship with a friend has been maintained, the relationship always ends up spoiling because one of the two ends up falling in love with the other and therefore things go to a different level.
An extensive study conducted at Boise State University has confirmed that generalized thinking is false and that sex between friends, effectively, is able to improve the relationship, at least in most cases they analyzed.
300 people were surveyed, and more than 75% acknowledged that having had sex with a friend had photographed their friendship . 20% admitted, along the same lines, that at some point in their lives they had had sex with a close friend and that, far from spoiling the friendship, the intimate contact had made them feel more united as friends.
It seems that more and more people are willing to maintain sporadic sexual contact with a friend without having to confuse feelings or that the foundations of friendship are shaken.
Couples that start as a simple friendship tend to be more durable
Another conclusion of the study is the following: 50% of the respondents who had a partner and had started their current relationship from a simple friendship, still remained attached to their partner. In other words: People who start being friends and who later become boyfriends are more likely to last longer .
This may be because the level of trust and understanding is greater in these cases than in people who quickly met and matched without having passed through the friendship stage.
Some tips on sex and friendship
Despite everything, the researchers came to certain conclusions about the practice of mixing friendship with sex. Those who have in mind to take a friendship relationship "with friction" should be aware of several things.
One, they must know the other person well and make clear in advance what we expect from it , so as not to give rise to unreal expectations that could end up hurting someone. Two, prioritize friendship to intimate relationships if the latter can lead to negative consequences for one of the two. One of the main drawbacks of having an afer with a friend is precisely that we can be paving the way for a potentially toxic friendship. Therefore, you have to be careful and try to do things well.
Even though the idea that friends can have sex without one of them getting hurt from the experience is culturally not accepted, this research that we have explained places in the spotlight the speed with which our way of relating is mutating, and so our conception of right and wrong.
What is your opinion? Have you maintained relationships with a friend? What happened? You can leave us a comment below or discuss it with us on our social networks. We will wait for you!
- Affifi, W. & Faulkner, S. (2000). On being "just friends": The frequency and impact of sexual activity on cross-sex friendship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17 (2), 205-222.