Sincericide: 6 disadvantages of being too sincere
Sincerity and honesty are values that are often claimed as necessary elements when creating healthy relationships.
However, those whose personality tends towards transparency can find many obstacles in their path. Sincerity has some drawbacks which is worth taking into account if you want to learn how to manage them. In many aspects, social dynamics cause honesty to be punished; It is a true sincericide.
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The drawbacks of honesty
The world of relationships can be complicated for virtually everyone, but certain attitudes and personality characteristics are associated with their own drawbacks. In the case of the drawbacks of sincerity, these can become doubly damaging.
On the one hand, these disadvantages, by themselves, produce discomfort, and on the other hand, this kind of problems can be made up and disguised as part of the spirit of sacrifice associated with honesty; as if that discomfort was something positive, because it ennobles the sincere person who carries those negative consequences. Somehow, we see sincere people as a kind of martyrs , although this does not have to be so.
Next, we will review these inconveniences and the way in which they can harm honest people.
1. The presumption of guilt
One of the types of situations in which the sincerity of people is most evident is when they make a negative criticism of others however constructive it may be. Many times this happens when someone asks them to give their opinion honestly about something, and yet when it turns out to be negative, this is often taken as a personal attack, as if it were not in the context of an honest conversation.
2. Free psychology consultations
Sincere people are used to the same thing as psychologists in general: people try to be reflected in the opinions of these people, and that is why they are victims of a bombardment of personal questions : what do you think of me? What do you think of my relationship with my wife? etc.
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3. Lack of compatibility with others
Normally, to sincere people it's hard for them to find the same transparency and honesty in the people around them . It is not easy to get used to an environment in which lies and attitudes that only seek to give a false image are common, and less if those elements are not part of the usual repertoire of oneself.
4. Unfair competition
There are many situations in which people who tend to hide their opinions and intentions are favored , as for example in the job search; Sincerity is penalized in personnel selection processes. That makes sincere people are displaced or forced to compete by lowering their honesty.
5. Harmful naivety
Another drawback of sincerity is what produces the habit of using it on a day-to-day basis: the ingenuity of Assume that others will behave in a way similar to oneself .
Since honest people accept sincerity as a natural component of their own personality, something that is not imposed or forced, they assume that this attitude is also present in most human beings. This is a double-edged sword, since although on the one hand it predisposes to initiate relationships leaving aside suspicion, it also facilitates the possibilities of falling victim to deception.
6. The apparent lack of social skill
The sincerity can be confused with the lack of social skills , which makes it difficult to establish relationships. If the person in front of us believes that our sincerity is really a sign that we do not know certain etiquette conventions, they will simply value us as if we had not bothered to educate ourselves on aspects related to socialization.
This drawback can especially affect those who use sincerity as a tool of subversion, because its radicality is dissolved in the belief that it is not about honesty but about ignorance. It is not enough to be transparent in the communication; We must show that we are aware that we are breaking taboos.
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A problem of others?
If you've read this far, you may have noticed that many of these drawbacks of being too sincere, in reality, are not inherently negative characteristics. Actually, in many ways the bad part of sincerity is more of a problem for others. One that, if it ends up being paid by sincere people, it's simply because they are a minority, and they give in by pure social pressure .
There is no code of norms according to which if after asking for an opinion you offend the fault it must be of the person who has spoken to you of what he thinks; but nevertheless, since honesty is a rarity, it ends up being punished .
All the inconveniences we have seen speak to us about the need for a cultural and social change to make sincerity stop being persecuted and that truthful communication flow correctly. Only time will tell if appearances and dissimulation will continue to prevail in this battle.
