Social panic: 10 daily actions to beat it
Social fear is a natural mechanism to prevent them from harming us. Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence make us feel weak in social situations. We are afraid to feel judged and it is very likely that this feeling has its origin in childhood.
Social panic: ten daily actions to beat it
Everyone, to a greater or lesser extent, has fear of rejection . One of the things that differentiate a self-confident person from another that is not, is that the first one learned manage fear .
But how can we overcome insecurity?
First of all, we recommend that you read this article published in Psychology and Mind that talks about shyness and how to try to overcome it.
Then we propose ten actions that you can apply in your day to day and that will help you to be a more sociable person.
1. Love yourself
The best way to end our fear of rejection is to work on self-esteem. A good way to start is to learn to speak to ourselves and to value ourselves for what we are: to be aware of our virtues and to pamper and forgive our shortcomings. Be aware that we can improve and not be ashamed of not knowing how to do this or that. Nobody is perfect or nobody knows everything.To live is to learn and know how to correct our mistakes.
2. Do not take yourself too seriously
Laughing about ourselves and our shortcomings will help us relativize our mistakes . We should not get angry with ourselves but understand that mistakes are part of learning. We are not born knowing, we have to be aware that everything has its process and we should not deprive ourselves of the luxury of making mistakes. Let's rejoice in our mistakes because it means we are closer to our goal. Also, laughing at ourselves, in front of others, will help us to be seen as courageous people who are not afraid to be judged.
3. Count your failures
There are few funnier things than story of a failure . Comedies tend to be stories of failures and the characters who live them are people full of mistakes that makes them endearing. Let's look at Charles Chaplin or Buster Keaton ; his films are full of falls and errors that make the audience scream. His films are plots that feed on misunderstandings and clumsiness and the public laughs with them. Or if not, let's look at Woody Allen . All his films revolve around him and his failures and, far from looking like a fool, people laugh with him and empathize with his experiences because, deep down, we've all failed at some time and there's nothing wrong with that .
About Woody Allen and his inability to seduce women, we recommend you read the following article: "The 8 errors of seductive beginner".4. Talk about your social fear
Saying that we are shy will help us to communicate and give information to others so they can sympathize with us. We will be counting our failures and, at the same time, laughing at ourselves. So, others will know how to treat us and we will discover that nothing happens to have social panic . For example, if we are in front of the person we like, we can say: "Excuse me, but you intimidate me and if I do not speak to you or stutter it's because I'm focused on not bleeding from my nose".
5. Learn to relax
There is no better way to combat anxiety than to learn to breathe and to know a few relaxation techniques . There is an infinity of information on the internet that will help us learn how to fight against stress. In Psychology and Mind we are supporters of Mindfulness , but there are many ways to calm nerves such as yoga, meditation or sports. You can consult the following articles to know simple and fun techniques that will help you have a better relationship with your mind and body:
- Mindfulness
- Sport
- Stress
6. Talk to strangers
Learning to be sociable is not an easy task. We must start in everyday situations that do not involve great effort. Make comments to strangers It is a very good way to start. There are plenty of everyday situations in which we can begin to practice, such as saying good morning to the doorman of our building, talking about the time in the elevator or telling a friend that her new hairstyle looks great. Little by little we will overcome our fears and learn to manage ourselves in different social contexts.
7. Assume that edges and rude people are everywhere
Knowing what our mistakes and defects are and what they do not, will help us to attribute certain reactions to others and not blame ourselves if someone is unfriendly to us. There are people who camouflages his insecurity by being aggressive with the rest. We have to learn to detect it and to know how to forgive them.If we say hello to our boss and he responds to us in a dry or sour way for no apparent reason, we will think that he is dull or that he should have personal problems that make him answer like that.
8. Work assertiveness
Cultivating the observation will be useful to know how we should communicate with others. If we start to detect the moods of people according to their body expression, we can express ourselves, or not, in a more appropriate way and we will save countless uncomfortable situations and aggressive responses that lower our self-esteem. Know the personality of others will make us know how to make better and more accurate attributions.
Do you want to know some keys of assertive communication? We recommend you read this article.9. Dare to do new things
Experiencing new things and leaving our comfort zone will help us to know different contexts and we will learn to adapt better to them in future occasions. As long as it is not a danger to our physical integrity or to our values, it is good and enriching for us to participate in new activities. Let's focus on the benefits of the activity and not on its disadvantages. Let's take it as an opportunity to overcome a challenge and improve as people .
10. Take the initiative
As we face new situations and accept new activities, we will be prepared to be ourselves the source of future experiences. Making an event to go to the premiere of a movie that we would like to see or organize a dinner with our friends and ask each one to take a stranger, is a good way to start and practice with people of confidence. Little by little we will become proactive people of great value to others and we will see ourselves as someone that other people want close by being a source of countless fun activities.
Patience, keep in mind that the fears do not expire from one day to the next . Little by little we will fight and surpass them. We recommend that you do not compare yourself with the person you would like to be but that you compare yourself with the person you were. Day by day, month by month, year by year, you will realize that you are leaving behind the social panic.
