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Swingers: what they are and what their way of living sexuality is based

Swingers: what they are and what their way of living sexuality is based

November 27, 2021

Sexuality is an aspect of our lives that throughout history has received a variable treatment depending on the time and the prevailing currents of thought. Multiple sexual practices have been banned and censored, and even female desire and pleasure have been undervalued and forgotten for centuries. The same thing has happened in all that sexual orientation different from heterosexuality, which have even been persecuted.

Fortunately, we are currently living in a stage in which at least in one part of the world there is a high level of sexual freedom, being born and reproducing different ways of enjoying our sensuality and sexuality. One of these practices is still controversial for part of the population, as it differs with the concept of fidelity that is associated with the world of the couple. Its about exchange of partners or swinging and those who practice it, the swingers .


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What are swingers?

Swingers are those people who maintain a stable relationship who have consensual sexual relations by both partners with other partners.

Thus, each member of a couple maintains relations with one of the members of another while the other two do the same . Said sexual acts are always carried out in the presence and with the participation in the same moment and place of all the members of each couple, being involved at all times in a more active or passive way in the sexual encounter.


It is remarkable that these are stable couples who decide to have sexual relations with other people in an agreed and joint manner, there is no deception and should be something desired by both parties. Likewise, the couple with whom the so-called exchange of couples is also performed is decided and agreed together , not imposing the choice of one over the other. There is loving exclusivity, but not sexual.

The exchanges of couple can be carried out in clubs created for it, in private events, in a way agreed between individuals or even through applications designed to do so. It is important to keep in mind that the couple exchanges they do not necessarily require penetration vaginal or anal, can be limited to looks or touching (the so-called soft swap) or oral sex. In addition to this there can also be full sexual relations (full swap).


The range and type of acts that will be allowed or accepted must be agreed previously. In some cases one member of each pair copulates while the other two watch. Couples who carry it out are usually heterosexual, although it is not uncommon for same-sex contacts to occur even if they are not homosexual.

We are not facing a particularly frequent type of practice, being something that today is not totally well seen by society. Regardless of this, it is important to keep in mind that these practices are carried out at all times with respect, with swingers being people who have decided to enjoy their sexuality in this way freely and respecting the values ​​and norms that they decide with their partners .

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The origins of the couple exchange

Historically, there are some doubts about the origin of the practice of swinging. Apparently one of the most accepted hypotheses is that its origin goes back to a period of time located between the forties and the sixties in United States.

The origins would go back to military groups stationed in the Philippines, which in some clubs performed what at that time was called "exchange of wives" : they met and after putting each one of them the keys of their rooms in a hat, they took from said hat other keys corresponding to another room, exchanging with the couple of the original owner of the keys. This type of practice was popularized in the hippie era, although it remained little accepted by the majority of the population.

With the passage of time, this practice that was initially associated with a submissive role for women and many cases with an express submission, has been modified to make it a practice in which couples decide in an agreed and mutually consented way to maintain sex with other people at the same time and in the same place.

Basic rules

The practice of swinging it is a complex and socially criticized phenomenon , something that generates that couples of swingers tend to hide their practices. Also, it is necessary to take into account the need to establish a series of standards in these practices in order to avoid conflicts within the couple. While each couple will set their own standards, they mostly follow a set of basic principles.

one.Agreed situation and without pressing any of the parties

The main and most important of the premises that all exchange of partners must follow is the fact that both members of the couple must be interested and agreeable to perform this type of practice. In other words, it is essential that neither party accept something that they really do not want to do just to please their partner or for fear of breaking it.

Likewise, this also applies to the acceptance or rejection by the person or couple with whom the couple wishes to maintain the sexual relationship.

2. Safety first

Another basic element is the use of prophylaxis: sexual practice with different partners it can lead to a high risk of infection from sexual infections or pregnancies if not done with protection. The use of condoms and other protection mechanisms can reduce this risk.

3. No emotional involvement

One of the most basic premises that makes the swinger movement may not have negative repercussions on the couple is the fact of keeping the act of exchange in something purely sexual. We are talking about those who carry it out must be established and stable couples, who must be monogamous at the relational or romantic level. This aspect is especially relevant so as not to damage the couple.

Words of affection, tenderness, romantic gifts are out of place. Even many couples they prohibit kissing, given the romantic connotation that usually has this act for most people.

4. It should not be the only sexual practice

Swinging can be a stimulating practice for the people who practice it, but it is highly recommended that it is not the only one that is carried out. Maintaining sexual relations with the couple in other contexts and without exchanges is also necessary and healthy for the maintenance of the couple.

Possible benefits and risks

If carried out under a series of basic rules and in a totally accepted and voluntary way by both parties, the interviews carried out seem to indicate that swinging does not have to have negative effects on the functioning of the couple and even in some it can revitalize eroticism and attraction among its components to see it enjoy other ways. Also the idea of ​​sharing this type of activity as something secret between both members of the couple may be desirable.

The practice of swinging also has a series of risks, especially if the basic premises described above are not met or the agreed rules between the members of the couple are violated.

Among these risks is the breakup of the couple to be able to reach one of its components to consider that the other people with whom they maintain relationships gives their partner something that he or she is not capable of giving them. There is also the risk of emotional involvement if the contact is prolonged and recidivist. Unsafe people, with jealousy, or with problems of basic couple should not go to these practices because they can worsen their situation.

Also, one of the aspects that more problems usually give is the fact that really only one of the components of the couple want to have the exchange of partners, the other being reluctant despite agreeing to carry it out. In these cases, the part that does not really want to do it does not usually participate actively, may be suffering for it . Also, the situation can get worse if the party that wanted it does not want it to be an isolated experience but something habitual. That is why it is very important that there is good communication in the couple and that there is the aforementioned agreement between both parties

In addition to this, obviously and as in any sexual practice with multiple partners, the use of prophylaxis such as condoms and other barrier mechanisms is necessary, given that the practice of non-monogamous sexual intercourse implies a risk of sexually transmitted infections and / or pregnancy.

Confusions with other terms

Keep in mind that although the basic principle is easy to understand, often the practice of swinging (which is how the practice itself is called) is confused with other types of activities of a sexual nature .

In the first place it is not an act of infidelity but rather something previously agreed and accepted by both members of the couple. Nor is it polyamory, being the encounter merely sexual and there being no romantic connection between the two couples. Finally, we are not talking about trios or orgies, although in some of the parties and encounters of this kind sometimes encounters of such characteristics can arise.

Bibliographic references:

  • Bergstrand, C. & Blevins J. (2003). Today's alternative marriage styles: the case of swingers. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality.
  • Hurtado, C.A. & Serna, P.A. (2011). The swinger lifestyle and the notion of fidelity: a subjective struggle between freedom and sexual exclusivity. Texts & Senses, 4.
  • OByrne, P. & Watts, J.A. (2011). Exploring sexual networks: a pilot study of swingers sexual behavior and health-care-seeking practices. The Canadian Journal of Nursing Researching, 43 (1): 80-97.
  • Orejuela, J.J .; Piedrahita, J.J. and Renza, F. (2012).The swinger practice / lifestyle: a perverse social-sexual practice? Sexuality, Health and Society. Latin American Journal, 10: 37-69. Rio de Janeiro Brazil.

LIVE Video: What You Want to Know About the Swinger Lifestyle | Sex Uninterrupted (November 2021).


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