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Talk to our children about sexuality: how and when?

Talk to our children about sexuality: how and when?

March 28, 2024

One of the most important tasks is to educate our children on a topic that is not always easy to talk about, sexuality.

It is important that we provide our children with truthful, useful and concrete information (sometimes we sin to talk using abstract concepts), an information that, at the same time, transmits our values ​​that help them to have a healthier life. Actually, the times to talk about sexuality are many, daily life is full of them.

  • Maybe you're interested: "6 reasons why you should talk about sex with your children"

Is it a good idea to talk to our children about sex?

This week, the team of Child Psychology of the Psychological and Psychiatric Assistance Institute Mensalus talks to us about the importance of talking about sexuality with our children and recommends educational material of interest.


How can we start talking with our children about issues related to sexuality?

Educational moments happen every day. Actually, these are the ones that help to converse naturally. It is common to plan "the conversation" in order to discuss all that is important at one time. Usually this talk is uncomfortable and contrived. Parents end up frustrated when they do not know how to approach the child and, in those cases where a good connection has not been established, they feel that they have lost "the opportunity" to offer important information.

In reality, the moments to discuss sexuality are many, daily life is full of them. For this reason, talking with children about sexuality is a conversation that is maintained over time, is a topic too necessary in their lives to reduce it to a talk.


How can this daily communication be? From what age can we start talking about sexuality?

Conversations about sexuality arise from questions they spontaneously ask (after listening to a comment in class, watching a television ad, observing a couple in the street, etc.). It is important to start talking with our children from an early age. They are curious about their body, they consult the differences between men and women, between them and adults, between different types of relationships, etc.

Curiosity gives us an opportunity to start a constructive dialogue. This information will help the child to develop a healthy vision about their sexuality and that of others, a fact that will allow them to take care of and respect it, two basic ingredients for the promotion of self-esteem.

On the other hand, we must not forget that children are prepared to receive information according to their vital moment. That said, when we talk with our children about sex, the first basic point is to adapt the conversation to their age.


Overcoming taboos

In general, are parents today afraid to talk about sexuality with their children?

The inheritance received from past generations in which sexuality was a taboo subject, still takes center stage today. Parents are aware of the need to offer information that they did not receive, it is true, but there is a fear of not doing well and hurting the child. The doubts related to: "maybe you still do not have to know anything about all this" reinforce the taboo.

A space in which we talk about all of this are the groups / parents' school. Repeatedly, participants express fear of transferring a wrong idea about what sex is and how it is lived. The fear that the information generates some type of problem in their psycho-emotional development leads them to avoid it.

Well, the answer is the same again. Maybe it's time to consider what the child needs (we as parents know) leaving fear aside. There is no worse information than that which creates fear and rejection (remember the inheritance of past generations). When this happens, the result is a negative experience about sex and, consequently, the direct affectation of self-love.

What kind of teaching material can help parents?

From the consultation of Child Psychology we have bibliography and games that are of great help in this psychoeducational task.

Specifically today we would like to share two titles. The first is a video called "Our Body". This animated short film is recommended for children aged 3 and up and explains the differences between the sexes.

You can watch the video below:

The second is a book entitled "Tell me everything: 101 questions asked by children about an exciting subject" by Katharina Von Der Gathen.This sex pedagogue took from an anonymous mailbox the handwritten notes with the questions asked by some third and fourth grade students who attended their talks about the body, love and sexuality. In the book the most outstanding ones are collected and answered. The result is really interesting.

What message would you like to convey to all the parents who are reading this interview?

From Child Psychology we insist on the importance of living one's body and sexuality naturally to help the child integrate the changes of each stage from acceptance. Likewise, answering doubts about such a vital issue, offers the necessary security to live and respect your body (something that, subsequently, will be transferred to other vital contexts).

It is necessary to provide truthful, useful and concrete information (sometimes we sin of using too many abstract concepts), an information that, at the same time, transmits our values ​​about sexuality. As we said, all this will facilitate responsible decision-making in the sexual field.

Likewise, we remember the importance of actively listening to the questions and explanations formulated by the children (sometimes it can be tempting to interrupt their speech to correct or stop). In this way we will show interest, generate feedback that will lead to new conversations and help them explain their ideas and build a coherent speech. Once again your self-esteem will be reinforced when you realize that your voice matters.

Recommended material:

  • Book: "Tell me everything: 101 questions asked by children about an exciting subject" by Katharina Von Der Gathen. You can buy it in this link.

How to Talk to Your Children About Sexuality (March 2024).


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