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The 10 keys to overcome shyness once and for all

The 10 keys to overcome shyness once and for all

May 1, 2024

Do you find it difficult to relate to people? Are you not able to express your opinions or your feelings? Do you care too much what others think of you? Are you never the center of attention at social gatherings?

If you have answered affirmatively to any of these questions, We invite you to know 10 keys to overcome shyness .

Overcome shyness: 10 keys to overcome your introversion

The majority of shy people (65%) believe that they are because of external circumstances, such as excessive control by their families, having been treated in an authoritarian or overprotective way, or having suffered bullying in their childhood.


Do not confuse shyness with introversion, since this last concept alludes to a biological basis of personality, while shyness does usually represent a problem when relating to other people. 23% attribute their shyness to their internal causes, such as poor self-image. Fortunately, 86% of shy people are optimistic that they can improve their problem if they propose it , as reported The Shyness Institute, experts in studies on this trait.

We invite you to know if you are extrovert or introvert reading the following article:

  • "How to know if you tend towards introversion or extraversion"

Shyness, as well as any other problem, requires advice and professional follow-up, but in mild cases there are ten tips that can help overcome it if we have the clear intention to do so.


1. Do not be so hard on yourself

Do not demand so much when you are surrounded by people and believe that your contributions do not go as you wanted . Do not worry. Most of your judgments are not based on the facts but on negative thoughts that you have learned about what should be optimal social behavior. Perfection does not exist, it is better to let ourselves be carried away by the intuition of the moment.

2. Respond to social situations authentically

Do not be reactive to them . Do not try to impose an attitude or behavior that you are not really feeling. Laugh if something is funny, not compromise. Speak if you want to talk, not because the situation demands it.

3. When you are ready to say something or make a move ...

Take to the limit the beliefs that your mind sends you . Many beliefs are limiting, sometimes you have to take the risk of engaging in a conversation that is so frightening (or rather, emotional).


4. Learn and do not be afraid to make steps towards new behaviors in social situations

Reality must be conceived, in a certain way, as a test-bed . Experiment, there is nothing more stimulating than trying things, even if they go "wrong". In reality, they are learning and unique experiences that you take: you are sowing seeds that sooner or later will bear fruit.

5. You can practice new social behaviors with trusted people

You can practice with your friends until you get used to engage in conversations . Keep eye contact, develop your body language, express your ideas and emotions ... Little by little you will feel more comfortable and you will expand your range of action. Here you have a good article to develop this set of social skills.

6. If you have been avoiding doing something, you can write what you are going to say

Do you like to write? You can rehearse the interaction by writing it on a notepad or in front of the mirror until you feel comfortable . Without obsessing: remember that failures should be understood as successes, since they provide learning that will help you in the future.

7. Drop into group meetings

It is a good idea that frequent groups and environments where interests meet coincide with yours and try talking to new people. You can start conversations in which you can contribute a lot, and maybe from there it will be easier for you to move on to the personal level with your interlocutors.

8. Do not worry about social acceptance

Practice your assertiveness and do not be afraid to be more spontaneous. Actually, being spontaneous is something very positive, and if you are, be sure that others will value it. Say what you think with honesty and assertiveness, and it is likely that people will accept you and be receptive to your opinions.

9. HabitĂșate to speak in front of more people

Start to make you see in situations where you can feel more comfortable . Even if you do not realize it, you will be training and your brain will assimilate that talking in front of other people does not pose any risk; there is nothing to fear.

10. If you feel nervous and shy, you can remember this

If your nerves ever get you drunk, remember that there are great characters in the story who overcame their shyness . Although it is expensive, shyness is not going to be an obstacle to achieving your personal and professional goals.

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