The 10 phrases that most psychologists hate to hear
The psychologists and students of psychology they face, day after day, a good number of clichés, stereotypes and myths about their profession. One facet of these clichés are the phrases that, for some reason, every psychologist has had to hear on multiple occasions.
Phrases most hated by psychologists (or myths about psychologists)
Are Topical phrases and manidas , result of ignorance about the job of psychologist. With this article we hope to raise awareness among the population in general: Refrain from using these topical phrases! Your relative, friend or acquaintance who is dedicated to psychologyand will thank forever .
Let us begin:
1. "Are you a psychologist? Do not read my mind!"
It is a phrase that can irritate the psychologist a lot. Nobody has the ability to read the mind of other people, nobody. If so, mental health professionals would not use tests and a multitude of techniques to explore the patient's psyche; a "mental reading" would be enough to know the problems of the person.
On the other hand, what is that aggressive attitude? Maybe you are not the most interesting person in the world, I do not have to long to discover the wonderful things you think. You do not need to warn me of something that I had not even thought of doing .
Psychologists are dedicated to analyzing behavioral patterns, personality traits, psychosocial contexts and that kind of thing. From this objective information, we can trace some hypothesis about patients, or anticipate behaviors that may develop in the future based on the parameters studied. This means that We are not like Sandro Rey : we do not have crystal balls or "scientifically proven" glasses that allow us to see beyond the common perception.
There is also the affable person who insists that you "read his mind". This is a sympathetic variant of the topic, since at least it is not born from a passive-aggressive attitude. A few words for the person who asks me to read his mind: I admire your open and jovial predisposition to life and that you want to show me your inner world. I hope not to disappoint you if I tell you that the work of a psychologist is much less mystical. Anyway, I invite you to a coffee, to compensate you .
2. "Psychologists are crazy"
It is not foolish to think that in every psychologist there is a point of madness . It happens with all that person who loves his discipline of knowledge; what you have studied and what is probably your vocation. It is perhaps for this reason that people can conclude that "he who spends so much time thinking about the psyche, maybe he can finish a little touched ...".
The certain thing is that many televising series have paid the land so that this myth of the madness of the psychologists is gaining followers. The cultural products that they offer us are fiction and their plots are based on the anomalous, the unexpected, the shocking ... hence the psychotherapists that come to life in the series or movies are of the most eccentric . As, for example, the Doctor House he embodies a misanthropic doctor and narcotic addict, but extrapolate that all doctors are like him would be a big mistake.
However, the reality is very different. Most psychologists and psychologists we are very normal , and even boring, if you hurry me.
3. "Where is the couch? You can not be a psychologist if you do not have a couch"
To start: to psychologists they do not give us the divan at the graduation ceremony . Buy a divan if you are going to spend consultation (that this is another, not all psychologists are engaged in psychotherapy) is not mandatory or violates any law if you do not have it.
The couch was widely used by psychoanalysts as a matter of tradition. Some current psychotherapists, whether from the current psychoanalysis or any other, may decide to have it, or not. The couch has no magical powers nor does it suppose any added value. Its function is to serve to relax the patient and can better express their concerns and problems, and to avoid looking at the eyes of the psychotherapist and may feel self-conscious.
If you go to therapy and your psychologist does not have a couch but a normal sofa and a chair or triplet, please do not think he's a bad psychologist for that , and avoids that I have to hear the cliché phrase: "where is the divan?".
4. "With what the psychologists charge, they must be rich"
This point depends a lot on the country you are in: in each region there are some parameters of fees to the psychotherapist, or the profession is valued better or worse. This influences what is paid for a psychotherapy session. Is it expensive to go to the psychologist? Well ... as Pau Danish would say, it all depends.
In general terms, psychologists we are not rich . Not much less, go. Many people believe that by studying Psychology they will become millionaires by consulting, and then they come across the harsh reality.
So, why do psychologists charge so much? Well, let's start doing accounts. You must be aware when assessing if a therapy session is very expensive, that the therapists have studied four years of career and, having graduated, we had to take postgraduate courses, masters ... It is an investment in time and money not insignificant. Masters in Spain do not fall below € 3,000. And, with the latest rate hike, each year of the race can cost more than € 1,500.
On the other hand, the tests needed to diagnose patients they are amazingly expensive . Add the rent of the office, taxes (personal income tax, self-employed ...), civil liability insurance, material (the couch also, but it is optional). And notice, also, that psychologists not only work with our patients during sessions, but we can also spend many hours at home reviewing the history, looking for information, correcting tests and activities, learning better techniques, updating, training ... There are many hours spent behind each patient, and are not visible to the naked eye.
In any case, and especially after the crisis, the truth is that there are psychologists who can treat you at a very affordable price . There are also those who, for a matter of prestige, charge sessions much more expensive. Everything is in the vineyard of the Lord, but if you really need therapy, money should not be an impediment.
5. "No, it's that I do not believe in that" (in psychology)
I'm glad for you , that you know. From the heart
But let's proceed to analyze this cliché phrase. The truth is that psychology is neither a religion nor anything like . It is not about "believing or not believing", as if psychology were something like an act of faith. You may not believe in the law of gravity, but it is shown that there is something that draws the bodies to the ground. Consequently, your opinion about it is totally irrelevant since the physical laws are there and they will not stop acting, even if you do not believe in them. We could say that psychology or physics have enough self-esteem so that it does not affect you that you pass them.
Psychology is governed by the scientific method; try analyze reality based on methodological bases contrasted to be able to reach true conclusions. This does not mean that everything that carries the surname "psychology" is absolutely indisputable, nor does it mean that there can be no methodological flaws that can lead to wrong conclusions (as in almost any social or health science).
Psychology is a science that is currently framed within the Health Sciences . You can not "not believe" in psychology, in any case you will have a critical view on the methodology and empiricity used by this discipline. The empirical evidence provided by psychology about knowledge about the psyche is dynamic and mutable , of that there is no doubt (the human being is changing!), but it is undeniable that these data result in an improvement in the quality of life of people who come to therapy, this is scientifically proven (sorry for the tautology).
Of course, the study of psychology is regulated within a fairly demanding legal framework.
If with that phrase "I do not believe in psychology" you want to imply that you do not like psychologists , you are in your right to have that opinion, but if that is the case it is better to explain yourself properly and not to use the typical phrase, because as you have been able to read, it is a falsehood.
6. "You can not get angry; You are a psychologist! "
Following this same logic, a doctor can not catch a cold, a mechanic can not have a breakdown in his car or a dentist can not have pain in a tooth. You must bear in mind that psychologists expose us to high levels of stress: we face the emotional charge which means listening to all the patients' problems, and we're supposed to be trained so that it does not affect us, but ...
Outside the consultation, psychologists are people of flesh and blood , we get excited, we laugh, we cry, and ... we have flaws. Although it is incredible.
Although our training and profession endow us with skills in the control of emotions and the management of stress and conflicts, we are not immune to having bad moments, making mistakes, getting angry, and so on. This does not mean that we are bad psychologists : we must learn to separate personal and professional life, and know how to also consider that psychotherapists are people, and therefore, perfection is not our common denominator. Not ours, or anyone else's.
7. "Psychology is not a science!"
We return again to those kinds of people who, for one reason or another, "do not believe in psychology". This time it is the turn of the person who asserts that Psychology is not a science. First of all, one might ask what that person understands by "science". Because maybe his vision of science is reduces to mathematical and physical laws , perfect and immutable. This purist vision of the concept 'science' is not accepted by almost anyone.
Actually, science is ... (let's shoot encyclopedia):
«The ordered set of systematically structured knowledge. Science is the knowledge that is obtained by observing regular patterns, reasoning and experimentation in specific areas, from which questions are generated, hypotheses are constructed, principles are deduced and general laws and systems are elaborated by means of of a scientific method. »
[Source: Wikipedia]
And, undoubtedly, psychology is science insofar as it is the discipline of knowledge that studies, in an orderly manner and following the scientific method , human behavior and mental processes. What this means is that psychology hypothesizes phenomena and then tests them empirically (through systematic observation), like any other science . In fact, psychology does not stop being a discipline that drinks from biology, medicine, chemistry, neurosciences, social sciences and even quantum mechanics. They are not sciences, either?
Psychology, therefore, is a science. It is an accomplished fact, not an opinion. If you believe yourself the master of the universe boasting of your skepticism, I recommend you to read the following article carefully:
"Dunning-Kruger effect: the less we know, the smarter we believe"No hard feelings.
8. You meet a person by chance, you start a conversation, by chance you learn that you are a psychologist and ... He explains your problems and requires diagnosis and treatment in 5 minutes.
What psychologist has not happened to you: you take a taxi to go to another point in the city, and as soon as the taxi driver learns about your profession, he starts bombard you with your personal stories and he hopes that you "diagnose" him and "heal him" before arriving at the destination.
Let's see: going back to the same thing, psychologists are not magicians or do miracles. I'm really sorry. It is also not very pleasant that someone I explained your problems in five minutes , in a hurry, and take responsibility for your future according to a diagnosis and a cure that you have to perform at the speed of sound.
Normally, psychologists are open people and we do not have any problem in lend a hand to whoever needs it . But you have to understand that, just as the doctor is not 24 hours a day exploring people who are on the street in search of diseases or the waiter is not dedicated to offer you the menu when you are on vacation, the psychologist can not be permanently attending the psychological problems or the existential concerns of strangers.
You have to know when is the time to expose these issues, and how to do it . To establish a serious diagnosis, it is necessary a work of hours, even days, of methodical exploration; it requires concentration on the part of the psychologist.
And, be that as it may, and no matter how much humanism is attributed to us, you should also bear in mind that we try to make a living with our work.
9. "Going to the psychologist is for morons!"
This is one of the most irritating phrases, since it shows absolute ignorance on many levels. Let's start: what is a mental moron for you? A crazy? If you are referring to people who have some kind of emotional problem, some temporary disorder of the mood, or some family conflict ... How many people would escape from your conception of crazy?
Also, in case you did not know, psychologists also try issues as aseptic as sick leave , difficulties in learning or relationship problems ... Not to mention the branch of positive psychology, which is responsible for enhancing the qualities of the person (and therefore his goal is not to "treat" anything, but to enhance some skills in which the person wants to improve).
Of course, to say that those who go to the psychologist is because they are crazy is an absolute barbarity. What is crazy is not to seek help when you're not well And keep in mind that all people, at some point in their lives, will go through some type of conflict in which the intervention of a therapist would be necessary.
None of the aforementioned cases falls within the sack of "madness". Ask a professional for help if you have a problem is not going to make that problem bigger or smaller . The question is to try to help people, and each case is unique.Do not fall into stigmas of ignorance with those who have the courage to face their fears.
10. "The other day I had a dream ... (explains it to you) what does it mean?"
Being a psychologist is not the same as being a psychoanalyst. And I bet that most psychoanalysts would not know how to offer you a rigorous explanation about the meaning of the dream you just explained in three minutes, without knowing more data of crucial importance when it comes to investigating something as complex and intangible as your unconscious.
The truth is that Most psychologists do not have training in this type of theory that inquire about the interpretation of dreams based on the analysis of the unconscious, symbols, and so on. This is so.
As a diversion, most therapists can try to make some hypothesis about what we think these dreams that you have explained may mean, but do not expect an incontestable conclusion, because it will not stop being a summary interpretation and will be missing a lot of data to be able to analyze well how your unconscious works.
Have you heard other cliché phrases about psychologists or psychology?
