The 14 main negotiation skills
We go through a market and see an object that we want to acquire. We meet with the boss with the attention of granting us vacations on the days we want or to raise our salary. We put a limit on the time our children can go home. In all these situations we have specific objectives, which may or may not coincide with that of the other party involved. If this is not the case, we will need to negotiate with her.
But negotiating is not so easy, but requires a series of negotiation skills that allow us to obtain a satisfactory result. In this article, we will look at some of the main skills required for this.
- Related article: "Persuasion: definition and elements of the art of convincing"
What is to negotiate?
The term negotiate refers to the interaction carried out between two or more parties with respect to a specific issue or aspect in which different positions are maintained, pretending with said interaction get to form an agreeable agreement for the different parties .
Although generally when we hear the word negotiate The first thing that comes to mind is the business world and trade agreements, the ability to negotiate is a key element in all areas of life. Obviously this includes business, but we also find it in the academic or even interpersonal field. Strategies such as mediation, for example, are based on the idea of negotiating and finding a point that the people or entities involved in a conflict can accept.
We may not realize it, but We are continuously negotiating with others .
- Maybe you're interested: "10 tips that will help you close a negotiation favorably"
Main skills needed to be a good negotiator
Negotiating is something that we do constantly in our daily life, but to be able to do it successfully so that it results in something satisfactory for both us and the other party it is necessary or at least advisable to have a good level in different negotiation skills. These are skills that we all have to a greater or lesser extent and that they can train in different ways. Below are some of the most relevant ones.
1. Self-knowledge
One of the most important negotiation skills is self-knowledge. Although it may seem strange to be focused on the person, we will be better negotiators the more we know ourselves. And it is that self-knowledge allows us to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses , so that we can correct them or take into account what elements we can take advantage of and optimize in order to achieve a good interaction with the other party.
2. Self-management
Knowing yourself is an essential element, yes, but it has very little use if it is not accompanied by the ability to self-manage and modify those problematic aspects when interacting with the other person. It is about being able to maintain a minimum of self-control, although without having a rigid and false behavior.
3. Empathy
To negotiate successfully we need to know ourselves. But it is also essential to be able to put ourselves in the place of the other, identify your needs and feelings , what he intends with the interaction and his perspective of the situation. In this way we can understand what the other party expresses and value from their point of view, as well as what is not said (something that must also be taken into account and that in fact sometimes has more importance than directly expressed) .
It is one of the most basic negotiation skills, which allows us to understand the other party and stimulate agreements that benefit both.
- Maybe you're interested: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in the place of the other"
4. Active listening
In a negotiation we are having an interaction with the other person in which both one and the other have something to say. Although we must show and express our position, we must also take into account the other party's and take into account both what it tells us verbally and what it does non-verbally , or even to what it does not express or elements that it avoids.
- Related article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"
5. Assertiveness
A fundamental ability to be able to negotiate successfully and that the result is beneficial to us is assertiveness. It's about the ability to be clear and defend your own opinions , postures and desires without being aggressive, without trampling the opinion of the other and respecting their interests.
We are facing the most favorable style for a negotiation valid and profitable for both parties.Showing only submission would cause our demands and interests to be underestimated, while aggressiveness (although in the business world is sometimes used successfully) could generate reactance or even if initially the objectives themselves are achieved the long the relationship is damaged. Assertiveness ensures a respectful relationship and sincere at the same time that defends the vision of the negotiator.
6. Argumentative and persuasive ability
Our objectives when negotiating can be many, but it will be difficult to reach them if we do not know how to defend them. Be able to argue clearly benefits and disadvantages of our position and make them see the other, and even convince him of the need and change his point of view towards ours or another that is more similar, is basic.
In persuasion, numerous techniques can also be used, which can serve to approximate postures and even that the other party ends up seeing the virtues of our point of view. However, persuading does not necessarily imply manipulating or dominating the other, these latter options being unethical and unbalancing the relationship.
7. Respect
Although we mention it as one of the negotiation skills, in reality respect is an element that should be basic and predominant in any human interaction . We must value and validate that other people may not want to negotiate, not be interested in our point of view or even maintain positions that are frontally opposed to their own. That does not make them better or worse. In addition, it allows maintaining a positive climate in most cases, which in the end facilitates positive interactions.
8. Openness and authenticity
Although many people resort to multiple tricks and tricks when negotiating, one of the elements that actually works best is to be authentic, expressing what we want with conviction and always respecting the position of the one or the others. Being sincere will help the other party know exactly what is expected of him, as well as produce a cleaner and simpler relationship that will generally be better lived by both parties.
9. Patience
Negotiating can be stressful and have a very variable level of complexity. Sometimes offers, feints or attempts by the other person to get an advantage without more than, if they are accepted without further action by impulsivity, may not be profitable. It is because of that Patience is one of the most interesting negotiation skills , by allowing us to observe details and find a balance between what one wants or another. Of course, do not confuse patience with immobility. Stagnation can generate loss of interest in the interaction.
10. Concretion
Leaving things in the air makes it very difficult understand what agreement is coming exactly . It is better to be concrete and clearly indicate what you want to reach. Obviously we are in a negotiation and they will end up agreeing the terms, but establishing diffuse limits makes the negotiation complicated and allows the other party to keep the option that generates less benefit for us.
11. Trust
It will be difficult to bring a negotiation to a successful conclusion if we doubt our chances of achieving it. It's not about being arrogant , if not to recognize and value positively our virtues and probability of success. The absence of confidence will generate difficulties to achieve the objectives and can lead to toxic relationships and / or dominance / submission. Now, like the other negotiation skills discussed, you can exercise.
12. Flexibility
A fundamental aspect when making any negotiation is flexibility. And it is that if we want to negotiate, and not submit or impose our criteria, it is going to be necessary that we conceive and accept the idea that both parties must find the beneficial agreement. For it we're going to have to give in some things , as well as the other party should do it. Likewise, it must be taken into account that there are other positions that are as valid as their own, as well as the possibility of modifying one's position or adding aspects or elements coming from others.
13. Risk tolerance
Negotiating implies that a position is being sought in which both parties can reach a consensus. This also implies that we are assuming a certain risk that our objective will not be fulfilled or that we will act in a way that is not what we would normally take. We must be able to take the risk.
14. Adaptation capacity
Linked to the previous point, when negotiating it is very necessary to have the capacity to adapt. We must be aware that times change and we are in a very fluid and dynamic society, in which the interests and conditions stipulated by the medium may vary very quickly.
