The 5 problems of love breakups, and how to deal with them
Love breakups are often a drama. You can see how the love story that had been lived comes to an end, and that not only changes our perspective about what our future will be like, but also makes us rethink what the true nature of the relationship was that we have shared with the other person.
Of course, the emotional impact of breaking up with the couple can be overwhelming; It is a kind of wall of new feelings that hits us almost suddenly, if it is we who decide to cut, or in an instant, if it is the other person who cuts with us. However, that does not mean that you can not recognize several challenges and problems (both psychological and material) to face in a breakup of a couple.
Recover from a break by facing your problems
Taking this blow to our emotions and recognizing in it different problems relatively separate from each other can be helpful when recovering from a break.
Let's see what are some of these challenges that involve sentimental breakups , and how to face them in order to move forward with our lives.
1. The break affects the self-image
Seeing oneself so affected by the breakup can damage the self-image. After all, during a period that can last days or weeks, we notice how we become more emotionally vulnerable , more prone to crying and, sometimes, more isolated and alone.
If you are used to live with a self-esteem that gives us a very idealized vision of ourselves (and related to the values and characteristics most valued by our culture, which tend to have high esteem the hardness of character and autonomy) this experience can hurt us in this way too .
The way to overcome this is to learn to accept this aspect of our personality as our own and human, something that also defines us. Reconciling with our most emotional face is essential.
2. Friendship with the other person can be lost
Couple breakups also cost us because they force us to pose a painful dilemma: How to relate to the other person from now on?
The indecision between not knowing whether to definitively cut off contact or maintaining a friendly treatment is aggravated by the fact that we do not know if we will be able to carry out any of these two options. And, of course, to that we must add that we have to respect the decisions that the ex-partner reaches in that regard.
It is recommended that, by default, After a brief period in which the contact is not maintained, you will once again have some weekly contact with the other person (if both agree) and decide how the relationship will continue depending on what each person experiences. In this way we will not be subject to social conventions and we will make the relationship with this person adapt to what each one honestly feels.Related article: "6 problems and 6 advantages of getting back with your ex-partner"
3. It appears a lot of time to fill with something
One of the things that makes dating breakups painful is that the routine to which we were accustomed breaks . If the break is total and we do not maintain contact with the ex-partner, the feeling of loneliness can come to dominate much of our day to day unless we do something about it.
One of the keys to mitigate this problem and walk little by little towards the normalization of one's own bachelorhood is to force oneself to socialize with other people, even if that is uncomfortable for us. For this it is good to rely on friendships, but not necessarily have to depend on them: the issue is to leave the comfort zone and lose the fear of entering into new conversations with new people. If we do not self-obligate ourselves, it is very possible that we remain for a long time in a state of inactivity in which melancholy, boredom and, perhaps, obsessive behavior are mixed.
Finding new hobbies is also very positive , but we must try that these do not isolate us more and more.
4. Mutual friends could also get lost
If the relationship has lasted long enough and has been connected to a more or less rich social life, it is likely that both members have come to strengthen ties with mutual friends, the couple and oneself. Cutting with the relationship can put in check these ties if you opt for total or partial isolation with the other person . However, it is worth noting that many of these friendships have value in themselves, and not only within the community formed around the relationship from which we have come.
As always, communication and honesty are essential here . But we also have to self-examine ourselves and ask ourselves if it really is to keep a friendship or have a communication channel with the ex-partner.
5.The improvement can be perceived as something bad
In most cases, the sadness related to the breakup of love tends to disappear with the passage of time. This seems like a good thing, and in many cases it is, but it can also have a double edge, since It makes us wonder what the relationship we have been through really meant .
If we perceive that we have recovered "excessively fast" from the rupture, this can make us feel bad, not seeing a way to see how significant this relationship was, and believing that time has been lost or that a lie has been lived . It is a very subtle type of pain, related to existential crises.
There is no simple way to face this challenge that arises when we look back and reformulate what we experienced during the time in which he lived with the other person: everyone has to find a way to reconcile with their past . And this is bad and good at the same time.