The 5 things that we regret most before we die
Have you ever wondered what will be the most common repentance in people who are about to die ?
Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, observed, through her work that the conversations she had with her terminal patients, that their regrets had certain similarities. Let's see what these ideas that appeared to see the life of oneself in retrospect.
- Related article: "The role of Psychology in irreversible processes: 5 attitudes towards death"
Wisdom to squeeze life to the fullest
People who were very close to reaching the end of their lives, usually regretted the same things. Faced with this discovery, Bronnie decided to write the confessions his patients made him . In fact, one of the factors that inspired her to perform this task was the explicit request of certain patients.
In general, these patients wanted their stories told, their regrets not to go unnoticed and to serve others. For them, talking to their nurse was the last chance they had to leave their legacy to the world: the wisdom that life had reserved for them for the end .
Later, Bronnie published this valuable information on his blog, which in turn, would become so popular that it would become in the book The Five Commandments for a Full Life. However, its original title is much more powerful: Top Five Regrets of The Dying, o The 5 great regrets of dying people. The author develops, together with her own experiences, each of the 5 most relevant regrets in the book.
The most frequent regrets just before dying
Below you can see what are the things that people repent of just before they die.
1. I wish I had the courage to live the life I wanted and not what others expected of me
The expectations that others place in us , sometimes, they can become suffocating. It is normal to want to please the other members of the family and society in general, but our efforts and decisions can not be influenced solely by this.
2. I wish I had not worked so hard
Work is also essential in order to survive, but that does not mean that we should make it a speculative activity. Many people are prisoners of the need to protect their future by procuring a very important economic cushion, while at the same time they fall into a lifestyle based on consumerism, full of habits that make constant work necessary .
3. I would have liked to express my feelings
Life in the West leads us to hide our feelings, usually because of a mixture between exaltation of rationality and the need not to perform strident behaviors that affect our professional lives.
- Maybe it interests you: "Are we rational or emotional beings?"
4. I would have liked to keep in touch with my friends
There are many things that can lead us to underestimate friendship. But, especially, the lack of time because of work is something that greatly influences this aspect.
5. I wish I had given permission to be happier
Sabotage yourself is frequent, if only because, in order not to leave the comfort zone, we prefer to postpone again and again what would make us happy.
Even repentance is valuable
Although the regrets described by Bronnie sound simple, in reality, they are very deep. Reason and logic let us know that life is finite , however, many times we act as if it were not like that, as if we had all the time in the world. That is, when we enjoy youth and well-being, we unconsciously believe that things will always continue that way.
That it may result in us putting off our dreams or that we underestimate the true value that simple things bring us and prioritize others that, at the end of our lives, will not be so important.
Examples abound. Do not express our emotions, maintain a relationship for fear of being alone, neglect friendships and significant relationships by being in a demanding or unsatisfactory job, not practicing that hobby that we have always found interesting ... and a long list, can cause us a painful regret in the future .
But knowing the 5 regrets of the dying brings with it an optimistic, hopeful message. Bronnie Ware gave voice to her patients and tells us strong and honest stories to take us to reflection.
Learn from the mistakes made
The most common regrets can be our teacher and not our destiny. It is up to each person to live in an intentional way, in which each decision we make corresponds to something that brings us closer to our goals or, simply, that causes us joy.
Yes, it is true that life will end someday and it is also true that we will inevitably make some mistakes . But today, because we are here, we can honor our dreams, fight for our true goals and enjoy the relationships we have created with other people.
If you identify with any of the 5 points, remember that life is formed through the decisions we make and read the 5 greatest regrets of the dying people can help us assess our decisions and make the changes that we consider necessary. It is totally valid to change the course taken. We do not reach the end of our life to realize that we lacked to live it.
We can all be part of another group of people, of those people who on their deathbed, are at peace with their decisions, acts and memories.
