The 6 habits of strong relationships
Something that teaches experience is that relationships are not based so much on finding the right person as with learning to relate in a healthy way with those who love us. It is unrealistic to think that those courtships that work are those that are formed by lovers who fit in all aspects (the myth of the average orange); what happens, in reality, is that his habits reinforce that emotional bond day after day.
It is not about the essence of each one, it is about the way in which we interact. For example, even the most intense love is extinguished if it is not communicated, and if coexistence does not serve to express that affection.
So, everything depends on our actions, not on our identity. But… What are those habits that define strong couples? Let's see it in the next lines.
- Related article: "The 14 types of couple: how is your relationship?"
From platonic love to real love
What we have to do to lead a smooth and uncomplicated couple's life happens, precisely, through not to confuse our partner with that platonic love with which we have been fantasizing for years (many times, even from childhood). Having this clear, and running away from essentialisms, is the first step in building a worthwhile relationship. After all, using someone as a representation of something we want to love even if it does not exist, damages both of us.
This seems very evident if we see it written, but in real life it is more difficult to discern those situations in which we fall into this error. For example, wanting to leave preferably with people who have very specific physical features is an example of platonic love in a weak version: we like the idea of going out with someone with dreadlocks so much that we even use this as a filtering mechanism.
However, once we have understood that the important thing is in the actions and not in the labels, there is still work to be done. In fact, the most important thing is missing: to know what those habits are that strengthen the couple's relationships. Sometimes, these customs will already appear naturally in some relationships, while in others it is necessary to make some efforts to implement them .
- Related article: "Platonic love: a guide to love in modern times"
The habits of strong relationships
To maximize the possibilities of developing a relationship, and at the same time allow it to take deep roots, it may be useful to follow the guidelines you will see below.
1. Symmetry in conversations
For a relationship to flow well it is necessary to converse regularly, since this offers the possibility of peering through a window to the thoughts of the other and, ultimately, to know in real time their opinions, fears and hopes, and better empathize. However, this dialogue must be symmetrical. That is to say, it's not worth just talking or listening, you have to do both .
It is clear that the exact fit does not exist, and there will always be one person who is more likely to talk than the other; the important thing is to avoid situations in which the role of one of the members of the couple is reduced to that of passive listener, a simple means to let off steam.
2. Do not give up social life
Forget about old friends when you have a partner is common, but that does not mean it is positive. Going out and having fun in circles of lifelong friendships is a perfect way to enrich relationships, given that it allows us to know facets of the person we love who did not reveal themselves in the context of courtship or marriage.
On the other hand, being locked in a relationship is not a positive either, since it facilitates the creation of mutual dependence: as both people have broken the bonds that bound them to their friends, the fear that the relationship ends can take control of the situation, since in that case I would be in a situation of social isolation .
- Maybe you're interested: "The 10 benefits of having friends, according to science"
3. Express love
This is basic. There are people who, because of their way of learning to behave or because of the culture in which they have lived for most of their lives, They tend to avoid expressing what they feel.
In these cases it is usual to justify this position thinking that the important thing is that love is something that is carried inside and that is not taught, since doing so would be considered trivial. However, it is a mistake, since the other person does not have access to those "depths" of the mind of the being he loves, no matter how much he is in love.
4. Constantly practice mutual respect
Another habit of strong and consolidated relationships has to do with acting in accordance with the level of respect felt by the other; neither humor nor "games" justify, for example, the habit of always playing tricks on the other person, or ridiculing their way of expressing emotions.
Relationships should be a context in which to be able to communicate emotions and feelings without fear of being judged , and as much as these can disguise as a "joke" or crude honesty, that does not mean that the practice serves as a lesson.
5. Change of scene
All the above is useless if the body asks to break the monotony and the fact of being with someone anchors us in the same place. Although we decide to sacrifice that possibility to make the relationship continue through its usual channels, in the end the frustration can get to overflow.
That's why it's healthy to assume that a relationship is not the usual place where two people interact; it is the interaction itself, regardless of where it happens. To reject that myth according to which the life of a couple consists of having a house, car, dog and children (as if they were elements of a landscape) is the first step; the second is live adventures together from time to time and, above all, move.
6. Household chores
This detail seems banal compared to the rest, but it is not. The belief in the equality of the members of the couple is demonstrated by betting on an equal distribution of household chores , which in the case of heterosexual relationships, usually consist in that the woman is responsible for doing most of them.
