The 8 types of emotional blackmail (and signals to detect it)
Relationships, whether as a couple or less associated with affective bonds They are always complex. This means that, although it is true that they allow us the option of creating friendships and very well established love affairs, they also leave a wide margin for things to go wrong for a variety of reasons.
The different types of emotional blackmail that exist They realize how complicated these relationships are, because they are a way of making us feel guilty for what happened in the past, when what has really happened is no reason to feel bad about yourself. This is: there are ways to get that, looking back, we see a trajectory of events that almost force us to do what the other person wants.
- Related article: "Psychological profile of the emotional blackmailer, in 5 traits and habits"
The types of emotional blackmail
In this article we will see what are these types of emotional blackmail and what are the ideas and messages that are hidden behind them.
1. The elephant in the room
The concept of "elephant in the room" refers to an idea or fact that, although it is important and is present in the thoughts of all the people involved It is not faced, it is avoided talking about it.
In the same way, a type of emotional blackmail is based precisely on pretending a supposed normality in such a forced way that it is clear that something is going wrong, being the subject "nullified" some type of conflict that both members of a relationship know and They should talk to solve it.
The fact that someone acts before another person in a way that shouts the existence of a taboo it is something that creates a rarefied atmosphere in which conflict is intuited all the time and, therefore, guilt does not abandon us.
2. Self-punishment
Punishing oneself to the other member of the couple is one of the most used forms of emotional blackmail , for its simplicity and its emotional impact.
In addition, the negative implications of self-punishment are so strong that it is even possible to fake them, since the possibility that someone is suffering means that many times we do not stop to analyze critically whether it is true or not. For example, a person can pretend to make a sacrifice to answer the other, without that sacrifice exists : He says he had plans to go see his parents and he can not do it, but maybe he did not even want to do it.
- Maybe you're interested: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"
3. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a type of manipulation very frequent in contexts of abuse . It consists in making the other person believe that their mental abilities do not make them capable of knowing what is really happening, and that what they believe are reasons to get angry is not really true.
For example, to convince the other person that he was never promised something when in fact it happened, and to blame her for inventing memories. This phenomenon makes the other person feel bad about themselves and believe that it is the other who is having a lot of patience .
- Related article: "Gaslighting: the most subtle emotional abuse"
4. Suicide threats
It is very important to make clear that not all statements related to the possibility of committing suicide are a form of emotional blackmail. In fact, most people who take their lives tell us beforehand. That is why in any case, before reactions of this type (for example, in the context of a breakup of a couple) it is very important to seek professional help.
5. Mercantilist blackmail
It is a type of blackmail in which you try to induce guilt underlining facts that can apparently be interpreted as sacrifices that have been made by the other person. For example, pay for a few drinks. The logic behind this reasoning is that everything that at first seemed to be a spontaneous show of kindness actually had a price, one that is decided a posteriori at the convenience of the blackmailer.
6. Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is considered a form of abuse, but it also has a facet as a type of emotional blackmail. This is so because through insults and disparagement the other person is internalize the idea that it's worth nothing , that their own criteria does not matter and that, therefore, the best thing to do is to obey. Self-esteem is very resentful.
7. Need blackmail
Some people try to emotionally blackmail others using a type of speech according to which they have "basic needs" that they need to satisfy, something they can not fight against. This makes that being forced to satisfy them seems to be the most reasonable, and not doing so would cause guilt to be born.
8. Appropriation
This type of emotional blackmail is typical of some couple relationships. It is based on the idea that there is one part that protects the other, which in practice means that one of the people must be controlled by your partner . To question this would be to undermine the well-being of the relationship, so there is no attempt to break this dynamic.
