The 9 signs to identify and neutralize a toxic person
In other articles we have addressed the reality of toxic people, those individuals who, although they do not usually have bad intentions, they get the worst version of those around them .
What characterizes toxic people?
I am not very much in favor as a psychologist of labeling people, especially when these labels are negative. In fact, it seems that the concept of "toxic person" has appeared in a certain type of literature as a way of cataloging the personality of certain individuals, and it is rarely explained that character and habits can be changed.
Therefore, a person can cause discomfort to their relatives under certain circumstances, but never make the mistake of thinking that toxic people can not change . We can all change, absolutely everyone. Someone may even consider you a toxic person, so you have to relativize this label and give it a new meaning, to help us escape situations that make us suffer, but not as a way to despise or stigmatize someone.
Toxic personality: sometimes it's worth getting away
Who has not had a cynical boss, a detestable co-worker or a brother-in-law who keeps telling us what we have to do? Dealing with toxic people may be unavoidable in certain contexts . But what we can control is the way we deal with their behaviors.
If we do not act with due precautions, negative people they can influence us and make us feel bad . In addition, we may accumulate tension and stress by having to live with them. More than enough reasons to try to get rid of this psychological burden.
Here I propose nine signs that should alert you that a toxic person is consuming you. The time has come to put black on white, because nobody has the right to make you feel bad .
1. You talk a lot about the toxic person
If you notice that you are continually complaining to your co-workers about how manipulative your office manager is or lamenting to your partner about how badly your mother-in-law makes you feel at family gatherings, you should know that this attitudeto mentally exhaust yourself, and of course it will not help to improve the situation .
Conversing about the toxic person over and over again only reduces your self-esteem and gives it more importance than it really has. You will not solve anything by turning it around, and maybe you will start to be annoying for those who should listen to your constant laments.
2. It makes you lose the papers
If your day to day is being affected by an expert manipulator or by people who criticize you behind your back, you should know that toxic individuals can affect your emotional balance . You must be careful, because it is easy for them to come to cause you frustration and even anger. If this happens, it is time to take action and solve the problem.
3. Your self-esteem suffers
Poisonous people are usually rude, rude and can be very offensive and annoying. At times, their degrading treatment towards you may make you feel bad, but Remember that your value as a person should never be subject to opinions (and much less the insults and humiliations) of someone who is not yourself.
4. You blame them for your behavior or attitude
If a toxic person manages to make you go through his hoop and manipulate you, It can happen that you constantly blame that person for the decisions you make and for all the bad things that happen to you . If you think the toxic person is to blame for everything, reconsider the situation. Maybe you only blame him for avoiding your responsibility. It is your life, and if there is someone who has so much power over you, it is best to try to get away and begin to accept the responsibility that you have about your own destiny.
5. You fear having the toxic person nearby
If you are horrified to think that you should spend time with that person, there is no doubt that, at least for you, that individual is toxic and has the ability to create a strong discomfort . If just anticipating that you're going to have to meet that toxic partner in a meeting and you start having negative feelings, is an unequivocal sign that something has to change in your life.
6. You lower yourself to your level
When someone constantly takes you out of your boxes, You may be tempted to go into the rag and start confronting him . This will make you start to have reactive attitudes and behaviors that are probably not in line with your personal values. Falling into the game of the toxic person may be inevitable if it takes us to an extreme, but it is not the way to resolve the situation. In fact, it is likely that you will only make things worse and despair more.
7. It prevents you from being relaxed and comfortable
When we are besieged by people who manipulate us or use twisted strategies to demotivate us, we may reach a point where we feel in a state of constant tension and worry. Y when we are uneasy, it is easier for things to go wrong . If you can not keep a cool head and relativize the situation, the toxic person will eat the land. That is why it is important that you manage to distance yourself emotionally from the source of toxicity.
8. You react with dysfunctional coping mechanisms
When we live in a permanent state of tension, we can react negatively. For example, to mitigate the uneasiness we feel, we can afford some unhealthy "whims", such as drinking a drink of alcohol from time to time or eating more than necessary. It's an insane way to stop the feeling of anxiety, and takes you to a vicious circle from which it will be very difficult to leave .
9. Your partner is also emotionally affected
Maybe the toxic person is something like an authority figure (a boss, a teacher, your father or mother ...) that you can not question. If it happens that he humiliates you and your level of emotional exhaustion increases, You can make the mistake of moving your focus of discomfort towards our partner, children or relatives . The bad mood is contagious, and if you let the toxic person contaminate you it is possible that you become a toxic person for our nearest you and make suffer people who are not at fault.
Manage the presence of toxic people in your life
If toxic people are getting the worst version of you, it's going to be necessary for you to consider some kind of change in your life .
This can happen through a simple change of mentality: do not enter the rag of their manipulative games or ignore their presence, for example. In other cases, the best decision may be to move away from this focus of negativity and bad mood before it ends up affecting you seriously.
