The crisis of the 30: what is it and how to face it?
When we enter our thirties, some people are not able to deal with the changes that this entry implies in the third decade of life. More responsibilities, longer and more complicated schedules, more demanding jobs ...
Of course, finishing the twenties is a substantial change . While during the second decade of life we are required little more than to study and begin to enter the labor market, when we turn 30 we are asked to settle in a stable job, and even the arrival of babies and mortgages to our routine.
- Related article: "The 9 stages of the life of human beings"
Crisis of the 30: how to deal with it?
Being a very widespread problem, the truth is that Many people find themselves confused and with an excess of responsibility and stress when they turn thirty . What tips and strategies can we recommend from Psychology so they can move forward quickly?
In today's article we will explain what is the crisis of the 30 and several tips with which to alleviate this emotional burden.
1. Demystifies the pressure to fulfill years
The crisis of the thirties has a deeply rooted cultural component . Certainly, age is only a number, but society is determined to make us carry certain backpacks (responsibilities, chores, demands) and, in the case of women, even with the dreaded biological clock. This implies that culturally they feel an increasing pressure to have offspring.
The effects of this way of conceiving age as a way to accumulate social pressures of all kinds is highly dysfunctional. We must relativize the fact of fulfilling years and take into account that what society understands mostly as positive or "agree" to a certain age range does not have to be positive or beneficial for our lives.
2. Assume responsibilities
The more years we complete,more tendency we have to want to own more goods, to have a better job, a bigger and better furnished house ... Be careful with all this. Growing up has to involve assuming certain responsibilities, but we should not fall into the trap of getting anxious and stressed.
We live in a society that values above all the material goods and the social position of each one. That you are 30 years old or older and have not yet been able to find your place in the world does not imply anything at all. In fact, many people who have triumphed in life have had disappointments and moments of anguish, until finally they have been able to find what made them happy (which is not always linked to the material ...). So, we have to assume responsibilities, but being aware that the clock works in our favor; It never has to be a source of stress or frustration.
3. Living alone is not a drama
In the crisis of the 30 a cultural cliché comes into play: it is the one that says that women should have children (before they "pass the rice"). This myth can disturb many women who are between the sword and the wall. Maybe they do not want to have children, but society is constantly reminding them that they are at an age when they can not take much longer.
In this case it is also necessary to promote that we understand that there are alternative ways of life that can fit perfectly with the personality of some individuals. ** Or is it that we can not be happy if we do not live as a couple or if we do not have offspring? **
4. Thanks everything that has given you life so far
We return to a social and cultural factor that attempts to harm us once we enter into our thirties. This mercantilist society makes us feel a strong self-esteem only if we have achieved an economic well-being above the average. And in reality, Most people who live happily spend their (little) money traveling, having unique experiences, knowing new places, enjoying the little things of each day , etc.
We must, every day, congratulate ourselves and be grateful for how we are, for our past achievements and for all that we have been able to live to date. The material benefits will come, we have our whole life ahead and we should not feel bad if in this aspect we have not achieved great milestones.
5. Assume the grieving process
Thirty is an age when, generally, We will have some important loss within our family circle or friendships . Our parents are already close to old age, and it is likely that we have already left the bubble of adolescent and post-adolescent wellbeing to immerse ourselves in a life with really hard moments.
This process of adapting to a routine with ups and downs can lead to some psychological problems.It is important here to highlight the valuable quality of resilience, which is that force that makes us recover even when things do not go as we wanted. To assume the duel when we lose a loved one or we have a sentimental break is another one of those aspects that will make us leave reinforced during the crisis of the 30.
- Lachman, M. (2004). Development in Midlife. Annual Review of Psychology 55. p. 305-331.
- Lachman, M. (2001). Development manual for middle age.