The essential thing to keep in mind when looking for a partner
Search and find a partner It is a process that is usually considered one of the most important elements of life. Shaping a romantic life in the company of someone not only changes one life, but actually changes two.
That's why it's good identify what kind of characteristics and aspects are those in which it is most important to look to choose to be with the right person.
The most important thing when looking for a partner
It is clear that the world of relationships is so varied and complex that, in practice, we take into account many variables when deciding if we like enough to strengthen ties with that person. The physical appearance, the closeness or distance to where we live, their circles of friends, etc. However, it is necessary to remember that we are only able to identify many of these elements when we detect that the potential partner could fail in any of them. What happens with those characteristics that we take for granted?
In them is the key to making the choice of couple come to fruition or not. There are fundamental elements about the other that, although we do not realize, we optimistically estimate irrationally, as if the couple had a kind of natural obligation to fit into our schemes.
The attraction is not the most relevant
Knowing how to identify these personal characteristics that we imagine and put them in doubt by contrasting them with what we see It will make those minimum requirements of what we need a person to have to be with it serve, effectively, as minimum requirements, and not as something that is understood.
Of course, they alone will not be enough to guarantee that the couple bond will be strong and lasting, but at least we will not be letting chance decide if we are compatible with the other person or not.
And what are the minimum requirements?
1. Communication styles
A relationship is basically a dynamic of communication and shared affection. If the first fails, the second will not take long to do it too. That is why all the conflicts and frictions that may appear in a relationship must be well communicated, and for this it is essential examine the communicative style of the potential partner .
Honesty and transparency are not elements that are valued in romantic relationships simply because they avoid the appearance of infidelities during a prolonged period; they are also a guarantee that the possible problems that may appear along the way can be detected and managed in pairs, without letting them become entangled or leading to misunderstandings.
2. The similarity
When it comes to building a long-term relationship, it is essential to assess how our personality fits with that of our partner. After all, the love bond should always be there, and that includes situations that are not very romantic.
Also, keep in mind that the myth that opposite poles attract It's just that, a myth. In psychology there is a lot of evidence that indicates that the most prosperous and lasting couples are those in which both people have rather similar personalities. In this way, the customs and interests of each of them will not cause an emotional (and physical, in the case of non-shared hobbies) separation to end up wearing away the relationship.
3. The vital and intellectual stimulation
When the idealization of the couple ends, what is left? It is very easy to fill in those blanks on what we know of the other person with all kinds of romantic fantasies, but once enough time has passed to see that neither our partner is as educated and intelligent as it seemed at first nor He knows how to manage his emotions as well as we thought, there must be something about her that keeps trapping us .
Normally that "something" has to do with the way of thinking of that person, their interests and fields of knowledge that make them curious and, of course, with their sense of humor. These are elements that do not depend on something that is quantifiable and that therefore it is difficult for us to get to idealize: either they are present or they are not.
4. Your fears
The fears of a potential partner are what can end up moving away if they are not compatible with the type of relationship you want to have. That's why, when we meet someone special, It is important to know what is what you do not want, what you try to avoid .
Of course, these fears may change over time, but in any case at first there is nothing that guarantees us that, if we change, they will do it in the sense that we want to form a functional couple.
For example, something as simple as the presence of certain personal ambitions could be something that intimidates the couple in certain cases, as revealed by several investigations.