The myth of the average orange: no couple is ideal
The expectations that we form before our partner and the irrational beliefs can cause great anxiety and create many disappointments . What if I missed the train and it was my only chance to be happy? Why does my partner not respond to my needs? Why have not I still found my better half?
That is why Knowing how to manage a relationship is also, in part, knowing how to adapt to reasonable expectations not to fall into a fundamentalism of the romantic that drags us and the other person. Let's see how to achieve this goal.
Burying the myth of the half orange
First, it's worth it stop to reflect on the myth of the average orange so that this idea does not condition us . This vision of love relationships leads us to consider someone as an extension of their own body, something without which we can not function well since we are not complete.
The image of the other half not only serves to question our ability to serve ourselves and become an autonomous subject with the ability to decide, but also reduces the other person to the condition of machine designed to read our mind and meet our needs.
Although the metaphor of the half orange can appear to be very romantic and tender, It turns out to be a deceptive way to fill a void . In one way or another, if we believe that the other is an extension of our own body it is very likely that we will end up pressing this person to meet our needs in the hope that they will think and act according to those needs.
When we irrationally believe that perfect complementarity exists, we demand that our relationship fit, surprised at how well we have connected and coupled in the beginning, when it is easier to notice only the facets that we value positively. A) Yes, the overvaluation of the novel and young can lead to a feeling of loss when the routine appears .
Thus, on a theoretical level the other would complete us and make us feel happy and full of love, but in reality the only thing we do is put too many expectations on the other what generates conflicts, disappointment, sadness, etc.
What to do?
It is worth turning around the metaphor of the average orange. Why do not we go from an unhappy and unhappy half-man to act like a whole orange self-sufficient emotionally and free?
The key is to realize that we do not need anyone to make us happy, rid ourselves of our irrational beliefs and expectations. If not, why do we love our partner just as he is?
The lovers come and go but the myths of love settle. If we are able to abstract from these cultural impositions on the love and romanticism that we see in the movies, we will surely be able to value our romantic partners for what they are: unique and unrepeatable people, with errors and virtues that, for whatever reason, have managed to enjoy our confidence . You have to learn to celebrate this.