Toxic Friendships: 7 Signs to Detect a Bad Friend
Could friendship turn into something negative? Several authors have described the influence of toxic friendships in the mental balance of people.
Toxic friendships: becoming aware of the burden of having bad friends
We have all had, on occasion, a "friend" who constantly got us out of control. For some reason, something in his personality pushed him to have totally inappropriate attitudes and behaviors that made us feel bad.
We detail below seven symptoms that a friendship is starting to be undesirable for you .
1. No reciprocity: they receive and you give
If at any time you notice that the balance between giving and receiving is noticeably tilted, being you who contribute and your friend who rarely reaches out, you should rethink the situation . If after putting on the table the lack of balance in the relationship with your friend he is not willing to change, you can start thinking about leaving the boat.
This type of friends who always demand your attention but rarely lend it to you when you need it are known as emotional vampires . We talk more about them in this article:
"Emotional Vampires: 7 personalities that rob you of your emotional well-being"2. They do not support you because of how you are
Friendly jokes between colleagues are not uncommon, and most are usually taken well. But when criticism and making you feel bad are part of the day to day in your conversations, the relationship will no longer be positive for you .
Toxic friendships can make you suffer. Undermining your person can be a mechanism that your friend uses to elevate their status above yours. This is usually more painful when it occurs in public. It is important to remind your friend that you want to be treated with respect, and if he is a person with whom you want to maintain contact, give him some time to reflect and change.
3. You can not trust your intimacies
A couple or three of true friendships can be the foundation for a healthy life. The circle of friends of this type is usually well reduced, a few chosen ones that have shown over the years that you can trust them blindly. We usually have a number of superficial relationships in which we share more trivial thoughts, experiences and opinions, but those few to whom we entrust our secrets must be truly faithful, in addition to knowing how to confide your secrets to you as well.
Bearing in mind that human beings are imperfect and we can make mistakes, we should start distrusting when a friend is not careful on more than one occasion . In this situation, you should be honest with him, show his disappointment and, if necessary, end the relationship or let time pass.
4. They get the worst version of you
When you suffer an emotional break or a bad moment, you may notice that your best friend is not able to be by your side to accompany you during this trance . Maybe they prefer that you continue drinking, advise you to stay with other people, encourage you to end romantic relationships without trying to improve the situation or advise you should do cosmetic surgery to improve your self-esteem. If this is your case, try to promote new and healthier relationships, as you stop spending so much time with your old friend.
5. They tend to disappoint you
When a friend leaves you frequently to stay with others you find it annoying, but many of us accept it as something that is not so important. If you cancel an exit to a big concert that you were also going to because you have decided to prioritize an appointment in the cinema with a possible link, we also tend to be understanding. If you lend them money to buy a video game console and they do not return the money, you should stop lending them money and reconsider about this relationship. If these situations occur on a regular basis in the relationship, you will end up tired of your attitude . Experience tells us that these types of friendships are difficult to trace.
6. They do not respect your partner, family or children
It is not an easy task to assess how important our relationships are when it comes to keeping all others alive. We trust our friends to help us or share moments and experiences. We appreciate the people with whom we share opinions, to the point that they give us the reason when we tell them that our partner is irrational or mean.
Sometimes, the friend can exceed certain limits, and that can make us feel bad if criticizes or despises someone we want . Friendships that question your sentimental relationship can get to weed to break that relationship, especially in times of special vulnerability. If this happens you should clarify that it makes you feel uncomfortable.If it is the case that the friend holds these criticisms because of their own insecurities or latticework, it is necessary to prioritize your sentimental relationship and the social relationships that support your decision.
7. The friend wants to have a relationship with you but you do not
Many people try to maintain platonic relationships with old couples or friends with whom they would like to leave. Rarely does this occur in an agreed or consensual manner, and often the story ends badly and with negative consequences. But it is a problem that can be prevented if we impose common sense .
When we are honest with ourselves, we can notice when a friend wants something more than a simple friendship. When sexual attraction emerges, it is usually impossible to ignore this fact and it is necessary to cut the relationship unless you feel the same. The best advice is to keep your former lovers in the past, unless you really feel that you should be with that person.
Concluding ...
In summary, we should value friendships not because of their quantity but because of the quality: reliable friendships that are by your side, both in good times and in bad times, should be taken care of as an essential part of a healthy and happy life.
The journalist Melina Fajardo Tells us more about the toxic friends in this video:
