Tyrant children: causes, signs and how to take action
When we talk about the Emperor Syndrome or the Tyrant Child , we refer to all a series of behaviors and attitudes of the child aimed at psychologically controlling parents or other caregivers.
In the short term, these anomalous behaviors can cause problems in the family, such as anger, frequent cries between parents and children, usually resulting in isolated families, where interactions with family and friends are minimized.
In the long term, and if it is not detected and corrected in time, it could lead to violent teenagers . Adolescents who could use, as we recently observed too often, the physical strength to control and dominate their parents and even teachers.
What characteristics does the tyrant child present?
The first symptoms appear around the age of 6, presenting the biggest problems over 10 or 12 years, both in boys and girls.
Between the most relevant characteristics we can point:
- They are almost always sad or angry.
- They have an exaggerated feeling of ownership. The phrase they like the most is: "It's mine!
- Many times they use tantrum, tantrums or shouting, to get what they want.
- They continually demand attention from their parents.
- They can not stand the frustration: they do not know how to admit a "No" for an answer.
- They always discuss the rules imposed on them.
- They do not recognize authority figures, neither at home nor at school.
What has happened for a child to exhibit this type of behavior?
1. Influence of parents' educational style
It has been passed on in a generation, from a strict and in some way authoritarian education, to an education - in many cases - in which one does not really know how to set limits to children. Parents do not assume the role of educators since, in general, during the week little time is spent with the children and it is others (grandparents, caregivers, etc.) who assume that role.
Some parents, in addition, They are afraid of frustrating their children and they do not want to impose almost any norm to them avoiding, in the possible ones, saying "No" to anything.
Other times, there is a clear discrepancy between the parents themselves in how to educate the children, either due to lack of criteria, because the parents are separated or because there is simply a lack of fluid communication within the couple.
"The family is the basis of society and the place where people learn for the first time the values that guide them throughout their lives"
-John Paul II
2. Social influence
Children are being raised in a consumer society, where the immediate and what is achieved without effort prevail. A society, in short, that rewards success easily and quickly.
Children they spend many hours watching television exposing themselves to a series of hedonistic and individualistic messages where values such as discipline or respect are not reflected. In this scenario is where parents should move, most of the time, they feel overwhelmed by the upbringing of their children.
"There is only happiness where there is virtue and serious effort, because life is not a game"
What can parents do for their children's education?To learn more: "The 8 basic tips for not spoiling your child"
- Spend more "quality" time with your children: listen to them, talk to them, play, share ...
- Do not try to be friends with children . Impose discipline and respect. Without stopping, of course, being affectionate with them.
- Establish clear rules and limits in regards to the education of the children.
- Primate consensus among parents . The voice of the parents must be "one" regarding the education of the children.
- Do not impose punishments that are never fulfilled Reinforce positive behaviors
- Getting children to take responsibility little by little of certain tasks.
- Do not overprotect children . Losing the fear to say "No". Frustrate your expectations from time to time.
- Do not label the child as "bad" or with any pejorative label.
"To educate a child is not to make him learn something he did not know, but to make him someone who did not exist"