Vengeful people: 10 characteristics and traits that define how they are

Surely, at some point in our lives, we have all been harmed and we have felt the urge to avenge ourselves . As the saying goes, "revenge is a dish that is served better cold", it is better not to act impulsively. In addition, after the initial anger, we often accept the situation and put aside the idea of ​​revenge.

However, there are individuals who are spiteful and vengeful. In this article we will talk about them and review their main characteristics.

• Recommended article: "Resentful people: 10 traits and attitudes that characterizes them"

Difference between spite and revenge

Resentment and revenge are feelings and actions that can be harmful not only to the person who is a victim, but also to the subject who is vengeful and spiteful. And although these terms are often confused, they are not the same.

Resentment appears after moral damage, when we feel that something offends us and we want revenge , we want to pay another with the same coin, the "eye for eye, tooth for tooth" so famous. Now, when this revenge does not materialize, it remains in simple rancor, because resentment is a thought and revenge an action, that is, when we behave in a hostile manner and we want the other person to suffer the consequences of having hurt us. Although they are different phenomena, they go hand in hand.

Characteristics of vengeful people

But, How are the vengeful subjects? What characteristics do they present?

In the following lines we answer these questions.

1. Lack of empathy

Lack of empathy is a characteristic of vengeful people. This does not mean that they do not show empathy with some relatives, but When anger appears, empathy disappears .

Studies suggest that to hurt another person we must see her as a threat and not empathize with her. This is a trait that psychopaths show, as you can see in our article "Psychological profile of a psychopath, in 12 unmistakable traits".

2. Poor capacity for self-knowledge

These individuals are usually people with a poor capacity for emotional self-knowledge , who are unable to detect when they feel anger and when they are about to explode out of spite.

Resentment makes the person miserable, and instead of focusing on oneself and accepting the situation, it causes them to live in a vicious circle in which they need to hurt the other person.

3. Poor emotional management

The poor capacity of emotional management is accompanied by poor management of emotions , then if the rancor and the thoughts of revenge are not detected, it is complicated to avoid it.

We have all felt great pain at times and we have wished that the person who provoked it suffered it in their own flesh, but not all of us acted and avenged ourselves, because we know that in the long run it does not benefit us and can harm us.

4. They believe they have the absolute truth

They are usually individuals who believe that their truth is the absolute truth and that they do not make mistakes. They are intolerant and possess a rigid thought. They feel offended at the minimum, when someone does not act or think like them . They may seem good but hide a great aggressiveness if things are not as they want.

5. Dichotomous thinking

This mental rigidity leads them to have a dichotomous thought, in which everything is right or wrong . They do not see the nuances that there can be in life and in interpersonal relationships.

For example, when a love relationship goes through a bad time due to a lack of dialogue (and the other person doubts), they may want to take revenge on their partner instead of understanding that the situation and the continuous conflicts, many times, can lead us to be confused What is needed in those moments is to communicate and be empathetic, not vengeful.

6. Do not forgive and do not forget

Vengeful people are spiteful people because they do not forget . By having the dichotomous thinking that I talked about in the previous point they do not accept the situation they see as a threat.

By not forgiving they live anchored in the past, far from the present that is where the welfare of a person is. Although sometimes we are not aware, forgiveness has many benefits and is key to our emotional balance. We explain it to you in our article "Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the one who hurt me?"

7. They do not learn from the past

So, they are individuals who live in the past, remembering the fact that wounded them again and again . Past bad experiences are great opportunities to grow, but you need to take advantage of them and not take them personally. Otherwise, it is impossible to move forward.

8. They are proud people

Vengeful people are usually proud people, who think that others are attacking them . This causes a defensive attitude that does not favor the smooth running of interpersonal relationships.

Despite showing strong, in reality, they are showing weakness, because when one has confidence in himself / herself accepts the situation and moves forward.

• Related article: "5 tips to stop being so proud"

9. Live an eternal drama

There are people who go through life with optimism, who face the obstacles that are on the way and pass page once overcome. But these types of people hold grudges and revenge deep inside and revive it continuously. Instead of overcoming it and moving on with your life, they recreate themselves in the facts over and over again .

10. They are insecure

Self-confident people do not give more importance to the facts that affect them . They may be upset when a personal relationship has bad times, but then they move on. They live their lives to the fullest, because they know that they must follow their path to achieve personal development and the goals they want to achieve.

To be vengeful is to want to hurt other people and diverts the individual from the path he must follow to be happy. Revenge may seem like a good option at a certain time, but in the long run it can be harmful.