What do I do if my son does not respect me? 7 tips
Getting a son or daughter to start respecting their parents is not always easy. Normally it is not a relational dynamic that appears spontaneously by the simple fact of having a direct relationship of kinship. In most cases, you have to work proactively to generate this healthy bond between parents and children.
In this article we will see some key ideas to know what to do so that a son respects his parents . Knowing how to solve this type of conflict in the most constructive way possible and without aggravating the situation is fundamental.
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My son does not respect me: what to do?
Each family and paternal or maternal bond with a boy or girl is different. The particular problems require particular solutions, thought after sticking to the specific case. This makes many adults feel disoriented in many issues related to parenting, and the management of authority in front of children is something that frequently gives headaches.
In particular, there is a pattern that is repeated many times: I want to have a healthy and loving relationship with the little one in the house, but he does not make it easy for me and he skips the rules ... what to do if my son does not respect me?
Fortunately, although each case is unique, there are general aspects that can guide us when it comes to managing the upbringing of children. Below we will see some very useful tips to solve the kind of parenting problems derived from the lack of respect for those who want the best for their children.
1. Establish lines that do not have to cross
It is important to be very clear about what kind of behaviors are totally unacceptable and to differentiate them from others that are simply undesirable but of minor importance. These ideas will be the main structure on which must be erected our management of the disrespect of our son or daughter .
It is very important, then, to establish from the beginning what is what is not going to be tolerated in any way and whose breach will require compensatory actions on the part of the child. It is also crucial to act consistently and not show inconsistencies when applying these rules of respect. The work of weeks can come down if there are a few exceptions, since it shows clearly that in practice there are no such red lines.
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2. Listen to each other
Once the above is done, it is very important that you talk about the problem that exists. You should express your concerns and the reason for your discomfort when your son or daughter is disrespectful, and he should have the opportunity to speak about his needs that he believes are overlooked. In this way it is possible to reach agreements that both parties value and that, therefore, they are not seen as an imposition.
3. When something is broken, it requires a compensatory behavior
This should not be seen as a way to get revenge, and it is important that the child does not perceive it that way either. Having talked about your point of view, it is easier to justify why you ask for the discomfort caused to be compensated, but in any case it is necessary to explain again why in that complete case it is necessary to make a sacrifice and recompose mutual respect.
This compensation should always include an apology, and sometimes this will not be enough. Of course, physical punishment should not be considered as an option . Simply, they must be tasks that require an effort proportional to the damage caused, even if it is a symbolic compensation.
4. Enforce the rules immediately
The moment a rule is breached, it is important to demand compensatory behavior immediately , do not wait for a context in which it is more comfortable. In this way, the association between infraction and compensation is more direct and evident, and the experience is memorized as a whole.
5. Give example
This is a point that many parents forget, because it puts them in a compromise. However, it should be remembered that among the sacrifices involved in fatherhood and motherhood is that of setting an example. It is not only for our children to learn by imitation and not cause us problems: besides that, it is a right of the children to have referents of adequate behavior in their parents, so that does not cost them to adapt to society and coexistence with others .
6. Avoid framing the restriction of freedoms as if it were a renunciation of pleasure
It is important to always show that family norms are effectively a limitation of individual freedom, but they are also a way to expand collective freedoms.Thanks to the follow-up of reasonable norms, it is possible to count on friends and allies, to trust each other, and in general to demonstrate the love one feels for the other.
Thus, complying with the rules is not a necessity because it deprives us of pleasant situations or because the desirable thing is an impersonal and cold treatment, but because in fact allows our relationships to be of better quality and, in general, that we enjoy life better in the company of the rest.
7. Show your humanity
The lack of respect, however much they come from small children, hurts. It is good to show that discomfort so that your son or daughter also faces that part of the consequences that his behavior has had.
