What to do in front of friends who ignore you, in 5 steps
Friendship, many times, has diffuse limits. Some friends need to see each other almost every day to feel good, and others can go by seeing themselves once a year.
Precisely for this reason, sometimes situations of ambiguity arise or in which a slight conflict becomes entangled and translates into the refusal to speak to solve it. This is what happens when one friend ignores another , or when both ignore each other. Faced with this type of experience, it is difficult to know what to do and how to redirect the situation, or even to know if it is worthwhile to invest efforts to redirect.
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What do I do when a friend ignores me?
When incommunicado situations appear of this type, we should not stay with our arms crossed; the more time passes, the more the problem can worsen, and although it is true that it can be solved by factors external to us, it is better not to tempt fate.
So, follow these tips and tailor them to your case to maximize the chances of clarifying the issue and making reconciliation emerge.
1. Objectively analyze the situation
First of all, stop to think if you really have reasons to worry . Sometimes, the fear of loneliness or rejection can cause us to see illusions, false situations of "danger" and isolation. For example, try to estimate in weekly hours or minutes per day how often you interact with that person, and if it is much less than what used to be common for months.
2. Be interested in the possible causes
The uncertainty and discomfort that arise when a friend ignores us can make us feel bad enough. On the one hand, there is doubt if that abrupt stop in the communicative flow between two people owes something that has happened (for example, the other has felt offended by something) or something that has stopped happening (for example, the completion of classes, with the university being the only space that was shared). It can also be a combination of the above, of course.
So, to solve this problem, the first thing is to investigate the possible causes that have triggered it, even if at the beginning we have little information. To do this, we must do a small initial investigation, which will be to reject or confirm any suspicion we have about what is happening, and then ask the other person directly about what happens to him, choosing a suitable time and place. and that allow to speak frankly and privately.
3. Analyze what happens
In this phase, we must reflect on what is known about the case and see if we have had any responsibility in it. Have we done something that gives reasons to interrupt the deal? Does the other person feel bad for something bad that we have done? Do not forget that, in case this is due to bad action on our part, these retreats are something that helps us reflect on the implications of what we do , its effects on other people.
However, you have to be alert with no guilt. In the end, not always that others feel bad about something we do is our responsibility.
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4. Decide if friendship makes sense
When a friend stops talking to us, that gives us information about what they expect from that link and why it relates to us. So, you have to stop and see if you really have reasons to stop talking to us or not, taking into account that doing that risks losing that friendship.
If you consider that it is a very extreme measure and that there are no valid reasons to do so, it is perfectly legitimate to rethink if it's worthwhile to continue worrying about that person for which it seems that you exist rather little.
In case you conclude that no, or even that it is simply a strategy to make you feel guilty and that you go behind, generating a dependency bond, you may have to go through a phase of sadness and mourning, but in order to Accounts you will surely get over it.
5. Stop to talk
If so far your role was that of person who collects information, now is the time to create, to propose. Stay with your friend or friend and let them express themselves. Then, express yourself. Negotiating a solution is important so that you both feel comfortable in that friendly relationship.
If the other person does not want to do that, consider to what extent you want to continue insisting to fix things and, once this is done, inform the other person of the time when you will stop trying to speak and assume that the friendship has definitely ended.Although it is hard, it is necessary to be clear when a bond has been cut so as not to think about it in an obsessive way, involving hopes that only lead to frustration.