Why do I always have bad luck?
Indeed, maybe he is sinning pedantry when trying to answer a difficult answer question ; but anyway I want to do it because it is one of the questions that most ask me in the consultation. Why do I have such bad luck? What have I done to make everything go so wrong?
Knowing good and bad luck
If many times this question torments your mind and you do not know why you attract bad luck, then you will have the subjective feeling that everything goes wrong, or that you have very bad fario . You do not stop hitting bottom, everything seems to get worse and you can hardly lift your head, it's as if you had a damn magnet for the negative things in life, all the options that life presents you or are insufficient or become too dark. The stars are aligned against you ... What have I done to deserve this?, impotent exclaims.
This feeling of being a passive and impotent spectator before the implacable misfortunes of life must be a true torture, right? You must feel like a voodoo doll, desperate at the stab wounds of human existence.
The vice of blaming bad luck
However, believing that you always have bad luck can turn into your worst vice . Try to convince yourself of this is to seek the ideal justification for not leaving this indifference to life, and that dear readers ... can lead to depression, since if everything that happens is cause of fate, chance or karma (whatever it is for self-deception), why the hell fight? Much more comfortable to resign and do nothing.
Do not despair, deep down you know you have an alternative, you know that that blissful fatality that seizes you can be, partially, the product of your own psyche . Consequently, you have the power to modify those thoughts that are so negative that they eat you up inside.
Changing beliefs to attract success and luck
Success is not achieved with good luck, it is the direct result of constant effort In fact, luck does not exist and if it does not depend on us, then we only have our own will to power for what we can transform.Related article: "Successful people and failed people: 7 differences"
Let's explore it, let's try to explain what it is to think that one has bad luck, to give some simple tools and be able to face it.
1. The fantasy of eternal stability
Possibly, when you have experienced a good run you have not been fully aware of that unreal illusion that tells you that this good trend will last forever, something you took for granted. Nothing is eternal (and that is a physical principle against which we can not do anything) but our mind tries to create a metaphysical reality where time does not pass and everything remains immovable, as if it were a cartoon where all the characters are always happy.
In effect, you think that the party will never end but suddenly everything ends and you stay there, perplexed and confused.
Solution? I do not have a magic wand that allows me to solve the problem at once, but since our entire existence is a cyclical dynamic (although the facts are never repeated in the same way), the sensible thing would be to add to our vocabulary the concept of finitude. Life will always be in constant change, the good and the bad will take turns , although at certain moments you think that everything remains static and permanent.
So I propose that every time it comes to your head that "I always get everything wrong" or "I have very bad luck" do not take it so literally or give so much importance to those thoughts.
2. Locus of control
The locus of external control is a term widely used in psychology; It goes to say that when you come face to face with problems, you tend to believe that they have little or no relation to your behavior. So, attribute the cause of such difficulties to bad luck , with the logical result of experiencing a feeling of helplessness and despair that causes you to think "I always have bad luck, I'm a fucking wretch!".
Opportunely, you forget that you have a choice about the circumstances that surround you , that destiny is not determined and that you have much to do. You have to focus on what depends on you. Realize the relationship between your behaviors and the outside world. Take the reins of your destiny!
3. Selective view of events
When you think that the God of misfortune has taken you with you, you are doing a review of the most unpleasant experiences you have had in your life and discarding to look at positive experiences, which certainly have been many. Do not misunderstand, I do not say that there are no such misfortunes but you are leaving the rest of the experiences in the background .
Solution? Take another point of view . The attention is selective, and you decide where you focus and what aspects you want to look at. Put into practice the opposite exercise to the one you usually do. Make a list of all those moments in which you have felt happy. Have a more global and objective vision of your life without regretting so much in the misfortunes that you have had to live.
4. The keys
- You are forgetting about the times that fate has shown you its sweetest face.
- Not everything is chance, there are things that you determine only you, therefore you have room for maneuver.
- Everything is constantly changing: creation and destruction. What today is black tomorrow becomes white and so on. Never forget!