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Why do we dream of our ex-partners?

Why do we dream of our ex-partners?

May 6, 2021

Why do we dream of our ex-partners even though it's been a long time since the relationship broke down? What is the cause of the return of said torment?

There are many times when in the morning you have woken up, for your sorrow, thinking about your ex. This is because previously, at night, you have dreamed about your old partner. But what is the cause of our dreaming of our ex-partners? A priori we believe that we have not overcome it, but in reality there are many more explanations that are worth being aware of in order not to be blamed.

Through this article I invite you to reflect on why we dream of your ex-partner so that you understand, the mysterious (or not so mysterious ...) meaning of dreaming about your ex.


Dreams: the importance of the unconscious

In the dream reality our unconscious is revealed; the subconscious tells us about some aspects of our life and of ourselves that we can not (or do not know) solve when we are awake.

Attending to the details ...

As I have previously implied, the fact of dreaming about your ex-partner does not mean that you still feel something for her or for him . It is a fairly common fact that while we sleep we project the image of that person who was part of your life without it being linked to an emotional attachment. To realize this, it is vital to analyze the details of the dream (that you felt towards him or her, if something happened between you two or not, etc).


Be careful not to take your dreams to the letter!

Dreams are symbolic, the meaning of it is never literal and, therefore, they are not the reflection of a reality true to ours (although there are certain elements that are) .

For example, if you dreamed that you were kissing your ex-partner does not mean that you are still in love but that you probably have the need to be loved and that need is materialized in your ex-partner, in a certain way because our unconscious takes the references lived through our experience. In summary; we can not evoke what we have not lived, it would be absurd and not very pragmatic in order to solve our problems.

I want to stop dreaming about that person and I can not!

Another reason we dream about an ex is because either we are not good with our current partner or we are not satisfied with our life as a single person.


These dreams are associated with positive feelings and emotions (love, tenderness, etc.) but always with a background of melancholy that manifests itself upon awakening. Although in appearance both situations are different they have in common in that the subconscious is showing us that we have affective and love deficiencies; It would be appropriate for you to begin to value yourself and to surround yourself with the people who love you .

Pending accounts…

Another of the most common reasons why we dream and think with a former partner is that there were unresolved tensions. When a relationship ends badly or when you have not had a moment to express your emotions and thoughts, it is possible that dreams are formed in the form of mild nightmares, nightmares that mean that we have a pending conversation with our ex-partner and that they will not disappear until we talk to him / her. So you know, be brave and face the ghost of your ex!

Old demons in the form of romantic thoughts

Insecurity may be another cause, especially when you are starting a new relationship where you live a similar context when you were with your former partner. Our mind is sensitive to stimuli and memory will repeat the memories you lived with your ex by associating them with the new relationship.

If when you dream of your ex you are sad, you experience anger or any other negative emotion means that we feel insecure and / or fear of starting with our new partner. We weigh the possibility that we make the mistakes of the past again and of course ... we do not want to repeat that situation again. In a way, it is a wake-up call from the unconscious not to fall back into the same mistakes. It is not a negative thing, being aware of it we can have the will to change things.

I am an assasin?

A common but rather macabre dream is that we killed our ex-partner . Calm down! That does not mean you're a psychopath. This dream only means that everything that united you with your ex has died metaphorically, and that therefore you are ready to start a new relationship.

A possible way in which anxiety is expressed

When we suffer anxiety or stress and we are not with our partner we can evoke dreaming of our ex to feel supported. Relationships are a couple, if you are going through a bad time it is normal for your mind to evoke a substitute for your partner so that you can feel better. It is a deception of the psyche .

Definitely: dreams are not always a direct reflection of our existence (but they are always an indirect reflection that advises us) and we do not always have a good perception of them. To learn from dreams it is necessary to pay attention and not give them more importance than they really have from an emotional point of view. So you know, face your ex-partners!


Why Do We Dream About Our Exes? (May 2021).


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