Why does love end in a relationship?
Falling in love is always something mysterious, given that it appears as a deeply irrational phenomenon based on emotions .. It appears suddenly, many times without us being able to foresee it, and changes everything: both how we behave and the way we behave. that we perceive what happens to us.
But something as strange as the desire to form a couple bond is the end of that affective impulse. It is not easy to give an answer about why love ends , since being a phenomenon based on emotions, is not based either on ideas or beliefs, something static and relatively easy to study, but on a combination of unpredictable neuronal activity, hormones, and interaction with the environment and with whom they inhabit.
However, it is possible to identify different elements that influence the chances of love ending. We are going to talk about them in this article.
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why does love ends?
Love is one of the human dimensions that have generated the most interest over the centuries, inspiring all types of research and explanatory proposals both in the arts and in the sciences. It is not for less, since it can be one of the main sources of motivation and meaning for our lives .
Naturally, many of these questions focus on the way in which falling in love arises, that phase of life in which we seem to stop being us to start thinking about something bigger than oneself, the couple. However, it is also important to ask about what causes love to end. In a way, seeing what it is that can weaken or even kill that loving bond tells us, in retrospect, what the true nature of those feelings was.
Now, love it is a complex phenomenon because there is an almost unlimited amount of situations that lead to it . The state of non-infatuation is that which is given by default, in which we have all been, so that in practice, almost any context in which one lives relatively well, it is possible that love appears. However, once the infatuation has occurred, it is easier to identify the main causes of the end of love. Let's see what they are.
1. It was just falling in love
Although it seems strange, love and falling in love are not the same. The second is a much more punctual phenomenon, of short duration, that does not usually last more than a few months, between four and six , while love lasts much longer.
The fundamental difference between the two is that falling in love is based on a certain tension based on uncertainty about what will happen to the other person and, in general, the lack of knowledge about what it is like. In practice, that means we idealize it.
So, it is relatively frequent that when falling in love vanishes, and with it the idealization , do not be left love. In these cases the relationship was probably based on the expectation of having a relationship with an idealized version of the lover.
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2. The bad living conditions
The idea that love can do everything is a myth. Love, like all psychological phenomena, is linked to the context, and if the situation in which we live is not conducive, the love bond will be weakened.
One of the clearest examples of this has to do with harsh working conditions. If you have to work many hours and investing a lot of effort into it , it will be more difficult to dedicate time to the couple, and that will generate a clear wear that, in the long run, can end the relationship.
3. The monotony
Love always involves significant sacrifices, such as having less time for oneself, investing in common expenses, or exposing oneself more to situations of conflict.
This wear, which is guaranteed, can be combined with a sense of monotony that, in the case of life as a couple, is more noticeable, because living with another person there are fewer excuses to be experiencing the same thing every day, the same habits, the same routines. It should be a lifestyle in which opportunities arise to do new things together , but this does not always happen, and that frustrates a lot.
And is that living in singleness monotony can be seen as something that has more control, but if it appears in the context of a romantic relationship, the feeling that nothing will improve and that boredom is part of the "contract "It unites these two people very clearly. Expectations of changing for the better lose strength , and with them the illusion for the relationship of couple can also leave.
4. The communicative problems
Coexistence with the couple makes it very easy to turn communication problems into serious problems that end up becoming chronic . If important misunderstandings are generated and these are not managed in the right way, a state of suspicion and paranoia that is totally contrary to the logic of what a fluid and functional affective relationship should be is being fed.