Why people who judge constantly speak from rancor
One of the aspects of today's society is that we now have more means to observe each other. Internet and social networks have made that there is a lot of information published about each person and that it is very easy to know pieces of people from which we have never even spoken.
Most people have learned to adapt to this change by trying to use it to their advantage: that is, seeing it as an opportunity to reach more people, expand friendships or look for work and business options. Regardless of whether we want to make use of this kind of tools, the option is there, and in any case, we do not seek to harm anyone: only improve oneself in some aspect through the way of relating to others.
However, some people see social relationships from an opposite perspective. Instead of taking advantage of the many ways of connecting with others that the present offers us, they prefer to dedicate a good part of their free time to expressing negative attitudes about the people around them. It's about people who constantly judge and criticize others and systematic. In this article we will talk about why they act in this way and how we can learn from them about how not to focus our personal relationships.
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This is how people judge others
Let's start with the basics: how to recognize in the day to day people who are always criticizing others? Among the characteristics and habits that define them, the most typical are the following (they do not all occur at the same time in all cases, obviously).
1. They want to seduce others through criticism
It may sound contradictory, but the habit of always judging others can serve to establish informal links between people . Links that are similar to friendship.
How does this happen? On the one hand, always going against the others but at the same time having dealings with a person implies the idea that this person is better than the great majority. By default, the fact that someone who always criticizes others to tolerate our presence and even seem to enjoy it can make us feel good.
On the other, the fact of sense judged by someone close to us, added to the above, makes that we believe that the person who always criticizes can help us detect our weaknesses , which will make it easier to beat them. The reasoning is this: others do not have the opportunity to have someone around who is correcting them, but we do, so we must be privileged.
Something that indicates that this is a subtle form of manipulation is the fact that although vexatious comments or attempts to ridicule are frequent (which is supposed to help us recognize our own failings), the idea that the person who throws those daggers at us also helped us overcome these supposed imperfections.
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2. They are unable to focus a discussion on the arguments
When it comes to discussing constructively about a topic, people accustomed to judging tend to direct your comments towards the negative characteristics that supposedly presents the opposite as a person: the ad hominem fallacy is his downfall, even though at first they were defending the correct option.
- Related article: "10 types of arguments to use in debates and discussions"
3. They use any excuse to ridicule
A risky style, an action that deviates slightly from social conventions or an opinion that simply does not coincide with one's own are motives of mockery or to be used to "read the mind" of that person and attribute all kinds of imperfections of intelligence or personality.
These comments may be more or less ingenious depending on the case, but what is clear is that they are irrelevant and talk about very little relevant features or facts.
4. In social networks, little subtlety criticizing
On the Internet, people who judge others usually they feel that with the extra protection of anonymity , so take the opportunity to unleash their cruelty. That means they leave all kinds of derogatory comments, in the eyes of everyone, knowing that the negative impact of this kind of publications is more noticeable: everyone can know who is the target of criticism, but it is not very clear who issues them
In addition, as the Internet is usually a place where avoiding a discussion or rational debate does not have a high cost (unlike a face-to-face dialogue, in which it is always clear who wants to stop intervening) these criticisms are simple and Sophisticated, given that they do not have to give rise to an exchange of opinions. They are little more than insults that stretch through several words placed forming a sentence.
Why do they criticize so much?
There are many reasons that can lead a person to constantly criticize others, but several of them are especially frequent. The main one is that judging another in a superficial way is an easy and simple way to feel superior to someone and, by comparison, feel better about yourself.
When one of these people formulates a thought aimed at sinking another person (either by saying it out loud or keeping it to himself), he is actually trying to temporarily escape the ruin that is his own self-esteem.
The most negative thing about these people is not what happens when they think in negative or denigrating terms about someone else, since this kind of ideas are so simple and little elaborated that nobody has to take them seriously. The most negative is what is happening for the rest of the time in your own mind, that is, the reign of a resentment that totally submits to self-esteem .
In the same way that those who obsessively think of an idea that causes them anxiety try to look for distractions in a desperate way, such as binge eating, drug use or even cuts in the skin, some people try to rescue their self-image by a brief moment creating the fiction that is being far above someone else.
That is why, in a time when the fight of egos is the order of the day, concerns not to take as normal those outbursts of contempt towards others with which some people try to make themselves known to others and to themselves. Who needs to dart others to stay afloat is clearly showing that he has nothing to offer and that he only has to ask for help.