Husbands are 10 times more stressful than their children, according to a study
Relationships between couples and marriages are not always a path of roses , there are times when the situation gets complicated, because conflicts between members are frequent.
However, often these problematic situations can be even beneficial, because if the situation is resolved in a mature way, mutual learning can make the couple grow and there is a greater degree of intimacy and rapport.
Relationships are not easy
And it is that coexistence is not easy. Each member of the couple has their values, their needs, their habits, their way of understanding life , and adjusting that to the other member's way of thinking is not always simple.
Each person is a world, each couple is a world and each family is a world. Idyllically, adults should set an example and should rely on everything and contribute equally to family life: in the economic contribution, in the education of their children ... But when one of the two members of the couple feels that they are giving more than the other, the conflict may arise.
The day to day of a couple or marriage can be stressful
And living this situation daily disturbs communication and hinders the relationship. The conflict can end up being the day to day of the relationship and stress can manifest itself. There are many women who complain about having to do household chores in addition to their own work, dedicating their entire lives to the family.
Therefore, it is not surprising that a survey carried out in the United States, in which more than 7,000 mothers have expressed their opinions, has concluded that husbands generate 10 times more stress than their own children. 46% of the participants affirmed that their partners caused highly stressful situations for them.
Husbands and added stress
Some women even claimed that their husbands added work to their daily lives They even gave them more work than their own children. As if that were not enough, some participants said that while their children barely caused them headaches, the infantile attitude of their husbands bothered them a lot.
Additionally, some complained about the fact that their partners did not give them their help in everyday tasks, so they did not have free time. Obviously, these situations were stressful for them, which causes them a great perception of discomfort.
Question of expectations
According to the researchers, it is possible that these results are due to irrational expectations . Many mothers know that their children will cause them conflictive situations, fruit of age.
However, the same does not happen with husbands, because they expect them to be a support rather than a burden. "You can expect a child not to understand certain things, but not that an adult behaves like that," explains one participant. Another adds: "I am physically and mentally exhausted when my husband comes home. I feel it is another job to have to be aware of him. " Do not forget that mother's love can with everything.
And what do husbands think?
Analyzing the data, we might think that parents are the main causes of the world's ills . Therefore, the same researchers decided to know more about their opinion about it. For this they carried out an investigation with 1,500 parents, and half of them acknowledged having shared the care of the children with the couple. The strange thing was that of the 2,700 mothers interviewed, 75% said they were doing everything by themselves. Many parents also confessed to feeling hurt because they believed they had a secondary role in the family. They also expressed that they would like to be recognized for their efforts from time to time, at least with words of thanks.
This study reveals that there is a communication problem and expectations in many homes. Some parents believe that they are doing enough and that they do not recognize themselves, while mothers think that is not true.
Whose fault is it?
Leaving aside the data of this study, the reality is that being a parent is stressful in itself . Given this situation, it is easy for sparks to jump in the relationship and the parents blame the other member of the couple. Being a parent can cause really complicated moments.
And is that if a relationship is already complicated by itself, if you add the work of raising a child, increase expenses, etc. the tension can appear at any time. Fathers and mothers do not cease to be persons and, therefore, are imperfect. It is important that communication from parents improves and that tolerance exists between them, because the first one who will suffer the consequences of this type of situation is the child itself.
The parents, in addition, also leave malparados of these conflicting situations . Several studies found that a stressful marriage, where there are constant conflicts, is harmful to heart health as much as smoking and increases the chances of suffering from cardiovascular diseases in men, as well as in women, In addition, a recent survey with 300 Swedish women found that the risk of suffering a heart attack is multiplied by three when their marriage is conflictive.
Books for parents
Almost all parents want the best for their children. But the upbringing of a child is complicated, especially with the first descendant. Nobody is born expert.
Because, A good educational psychology text for parents can be very useful , because even with the best intentions, it is not always educated correctly.
- If you would like to acquire a psychology book for parents, in this post you will find a great selection: "The 8 most useful books of Educational Psychology for fathers and mothers."