4 keys to finding harmony in a house with children
"Come on, hurry up, do not come, come! "," You still have not finished the snack, what are you waiting for? "," Wait, your brother is crying "," I'm going sweetheart, mom is with you in 10 minutes, I'm coming, wait, ..., I can not all, ya voooooy, what do you want to play ?, why do not you want to play with me? But I'm not angry. "
Children soak up the energy that we transmit and they end up imitating our emotional responses. Our children do not live in the world of hurry like us, nor do they feel overwhelmed by an excess of responsibilities. However, they give similar responses of nervousness or restlessness, because they mimic our emotional states. We infect our mood and our stress, and then we are surprised that they have tantrums, are irritable or more disobedient.
As adults we get angry and do not understand why in the worst moments the children disobey even more . Possibly we are provoking ourselves without realizing it. For this great reason harmony in the home begins with our own serenity.
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Achieving harmony in a home with children
The answer is simpler than you would expect. Creating habits and routines.
Nature has a seasonal rhythm, and people also have it with sleep-wake cycles. Children who live in a habitat environment are calmer , because they have certainty of what comes next.
However, in homes where parents do not maintain certain routines, children are expectant, accelerate and fail to flow harmoniously.
How can I do it?
Next we will see several keys to get create an environment in harmony within our own home :
1. Get predictable activities in your home
With young children it is better to tell them what is going to happen, always using the same "previous signals".
For example, if it is time to wash our hands to eat, we can always sing the same song that indicates that we are going to do it. After the song and the hygiene, will associate that it's time to sit down to eat . After several sequences, just by hearing the song the children will know what time it is and what is expected of them.
Although it seems to parents that it is always the same, it is good for children to live in an environment where they know what is going to happen; his restlessness lowers and a certain harmony is breathed. When children learn these rhythms, the contingencies diminish, there are fewer disputes, the links are reinforced and there is more choice and even time for the game.
If routines are altered , the tension will appear and the rush will boycott the harmony. For example, if you call us by phone, return the call at another time, if the children want to extend the time of the park, kindly say that it is time to go to prepare dinner. Although these guidelines may seem rigid, they will help us avoid shouting, anger and disputes.
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2. Respect the rhythms and hours of sleep
Children between 6 and 12 years old need to sleep, according to WHO, ten and twelve hours a day. Those little ones who sleep the right time for their age they have better academic performance and score more in intelligence. In addition, sleep stimulates growth hormone and promotes good metabolism of the child, helps their memory and concentration.
In Psicode, we find parents who come with the demand to decrease the bad behavior of their children. In some cases, as the child is regulated sleep, rest more and have an environment of routines, the results that are observed are surprising .
Many times the guilt that parents feel for sending them to bed soon and not having time to be with them is the reason for postponing bedtime. However, then those extra minutes make the tiredness the next day break the harmony at home.
We invite you to do the test, advance one hour the time to bed your little ones. You will be surprised not only how the relationship with them improves , but also with your partners.
3. Teach gratitude
Teach them the habit of being grateful, kind, and practiced by the whole family . Let them observe how by requesting things please, or giving thanks helps to generate more harmony in the environment.
Being grateful, even inwardly with the little things that happen to us, will help them to be more optimistic, happier children and able to look for challenges and possibilities where others only see problems.
We propose, as an activity, that before sleeping, we give thanks for several things. We can do it with questions like: "Why has it been a lucky day for you?", "What good things have happened to you today?", "Why would you thank today?".
4. Teach how to listen to silence
In the society in which we live, with access to the Internet, we are constantly over-stimulated. Children experience a bombardment of stimuli that make them intolerant of silence . They continually go looking for that frenetic rhythm to which they are accustomed, asking questions in a continuous way, putting the television, having "reckless" thoughts that later turn into mental ruminations.
From time to time, you can enter into silence. It is a gateway to serenity. Another way to find harmony.
We advise helping children to collect themselves. If we see that they are quiet or thoughtful, respect that moment without interrupting them with questions or instructions. As well we can play to be silent 5 minutes and enjoy the sounds of the environment (especially in nature).
Enjoying the silence we obtain serenity in our home
If you think that harmony is lacking in your home and you do not know how to handle conflicts with your children or your partner, do not hesitate to ask for advice at the Institute of Psychology Psicode of Madrid (Tel: 910000209).
