How to socialize better? 7 useful tips
People are social animals, which means that we are beings that need interaction with others, to the point that throughout our evolution as a species we have developed a system of societies that allows us to enjoy the feeling that we belong to something much greater than us.
From this point of view, it would be logical to think that all people manage to develop the same socialization skills, but this is not reality at all. Due to different influencing factors some people fail to develop these skills completely, so throughout this article we will see some tips on how to socialize better .
- Related article: "9 habits to connect emotionally with someone"
What does it mean to socialize?
The act to be socialized, also known as socialization, is a process that virtually all people go through and that consists of the cognitive assimilation of all the elements, principles and socio-cultural foundations of their environment to then integrate them into the structure of their personality, all of them mediated by the influence of their life experiences and social agents.
This process is carried out thanks to the actions of the social agents, which are constituted by the family environment, the school, the peers and even the media and institutions.
Within all these agents, the family is considered an essential part of the socialization process since it supposes our first contact with people different from ourselves and they serve as a guide for our first contacts with the outside world.
In second place is the school, within this context we learn the guidelines to follow for interaction with our peers, as well as a first deal with authority figures other than parents or guardians.
Why are not all people equally capable?
Among people there are great differences when developing the skills that allow us to socialize with the rest. While some exhibit great abilities to relate and generate friendships in a very simple way, to others it is a great effort.
These difficulties to meet people and make friends can cause great feelings of frustration and anguish, since the person feels the need and wants to interact with others but their ignorance or lack of skills make it impossible.
The skills that allow us to interact with others and establish positive personal and friendship bonds they are known as social skills . This concept encompasses all those behaviors and behaviors carried out by the person within an interpersonal context.
Basically it consists in the expression of emotions, feelings, desires and opinions in an effective and adequate way according to the situation in which the person is. In addition, it is also characterized by the ability to respect others and solve problems effectively minimizing the consequences and future complications.
The reason why some people do not possess these skills is that they have not had the opportunity to learn them and put them into practice , either by inadequate or little direct learning models, or by the interference of negative thoughts or insecurities due to negative life experiences.
7 tips to socialize better
However, like the rest of skills these are susceptible to be learned and practiced. Although this may be a bit more complicated over time, it is never too late to change or improve socialization habits and patterns.
Next we will review a series of suggestions that will not facilitate interaction with other people and they will help us feel more comfortable.
1. Start little by little
Due to the tension that can generate a conversation or a contact with another person, it is worth starting little by little. Choose places that are not overcrowded, so you can have a quiet conversation with one or two people.
Choosing everyday contexts in which people speak in a natural or habitual way such as the queues of supermarkets and start a small casual interaction will allow us to practice and lose the fear of starting conversations .
In the same way, it is advisable to begin with small comments, which may give way to a conversation but without resulting in exaggerated or excessively deep expressions or sentences. Circumstantial comments that express points in common with the other person are usually very effective when creating a link.
Of course we do not refer to forced or constant smiles, as these can convey a sense of strangeness or distrust to other people.Smiling when someone approaches, when making funny comments and maintaining a relaxed and carefree facial gesture will help us to feel close to people and to that they feel comfortable with us .
3. Maintain adequate eye contact
Looking at people while they are speaking is a sign that you are listening and facilitates the creation of bonds with others. Otherwise it will seem that we are not interested in the least what counts and this can create a barrier between both.
In the same way, if we are the ones who speak also It is advisable to maintain eye contact with our interlocutor or interlocutors , since this transmits security and also facilitates the creation of personal or friendship ties.
Socializing with implies only talking with other people, but also attending them and actively listening to what they are not telling. An active listening will allow us to gather enough information from the other person to be able to formulate the appropriate questions and comments, which will allow us to continue the conversation effectively and convey interest in the other.
- Related article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"
Observing the people around us or with whom we have a conversation can give us a lot of information about them, such as how they feel when talking about a topic. This information will allow us to connect with them and facilitate the beginning and progress of the conversation.
6. Stay informed
Knowing what is happening around us, what are the latest news and events will provide us with a wide range of topics with which to initiate conversations and to be able to intervene effectively in the debates that may appear during social gatherings.
- Maybe you're interested: "15 interesting and fun conversation topics"
7. Do not judge
If arriving at a meeting space, the first thing you do is make value judgments, you will create a barrier between yourself and other people, since you will eliminate the possibility of knowing them and knowing how they really are, especially if these judgments are negative.
In the same way, make criticism or negative value judgments to people you just met usually transmit a very bad image so you will only get these people away from you.