How to teach your children to tolerate frustration, in 6 steps
Parents want the best for our children , and in that attempt to give them everything, we can fall into the error of not letting them develop as people or allowing them to experience life for themselves. These behaviors, which may seem like great signs of love and protection, in the long run cause children not to acquire some life-coping skills that may be useful in their future, when they only depend on themselves.
One of these skills is tolerance to frustration , which is intimately related to the resilience and ability of people to cope with less pleasant situations. People with low tolerance to frustration have serious difficulties controlling their emotions, are very vulnerable to emotional pain, are impulsive and impatient and have difficulty adapting to changing environments.
Related article: "What is frustration and how does it affect our life?"
Learning to tolerate frustration is key to the well-being of children
Tolerance to frustration is a concept developed by Albert Ellis, a well-known psychologist we discussed in our article "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (TREC) by Albert Ellis".
And is that enduring or tolerating frustration is necessary to face the adversities that life can present or the bad times that we sometimes have to live. Otherwise, we can become vulnerable in these situations or emotionally dependent people in interpersonal relationships. Life sometimes presents us with problems, and we must be able to face them and solve them instead of running away from them.
When things do not go as we wish or the expectations we had in mind are not met, the frustration may appear which, if not tolerated, gives way to sadness, disappointment, anxiety, disappointment and disappointment.
So, To tolerate frustration is to be able to face the problems that arise despite the discomfort and pain it causes, which allows us to adapt better to situations and, therefore, react appropriately. When it comes to educating the new generations, this is extremely important.
- Article rlacionado: "Emotionally mature people: 6 features that define them"
Keys to teach your children to tolerate frustration
Luckily, it is possible to work tolerance to frustration. In the following lines we give you some keys to educate your children to be more tolerant of frustration .
1. Educate with values such as effort
When we educate our son, we must think about the values he is acquiring. We may think that giving him the best clothes or toys that he wants without any effort is a good father's action. However, we must educate him in a way that understands that the things he receives are the result of his effort . In this way, you will learn that in life, if you want something, you have to fight for it. Gifts will not always come to you.
- Related article: "Educating to form independent and autonomous children"
2. Teach you to mark yourself and meet realistic goals
Frustration appears many times because we set goals that are irrational and unattainable. When we have very high expectations and do not fulfill them, then we can suffer for it. Setting realistic goals and fulfilling them teaches us to be mature and rational, and makes it clear that we must avoid those situations that lead us to feel frustrated and, therefore, to suffer.
3. Be coherent and give an example
When it comes to educating a child we must always be consistent with what we say, because we are models for them . If we intend to educate them in values and then we ourselves are unable to apply what we are teaching them, learning will not occur. Therefore, our way of acting affects how our children develop, because vicarious learning is especially important at these ages.
Related article: "Vicariate learning: observing others to educate us"
4. Do not give in to tantrums
Giving in to tantrums is a way to reinforce negative behaviors, and causes a child to learn that he can get what he wants simply by crying or tantrums. When we give in to his tantrums , we are sending you the message that you can get what you want by acting like this, and we will not leave you time to reflect on the frustration of not getting away with it. Sometimes, suffering a little is good for learning valuable lessons.
5. Set limits to your child
Children and adolescents must have clear limits to know how to act. That does not mean that we should be authoritarian with them, just make them understand that there are certain behaviors that have negative consequences for them.
If we give a child wide-sleeved to do what he wants, he will always get away with it and, therefore, will not value anything. When you are in situations where things do not go your way you will feel a great sense of failure because you have not learned from the unpleasant experiences of the past.
6. Help you learn from frustration
Following the previous point, difficult experiences are a great opportunity to learn new things , because although many times we are not aware, pain is also learned. In fact, experiential learning is one of the best ways to learn. Now, as long as we learn from experience through self-reflection.
- Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"
