Toxic brothers: 10 conflicts between problematic brothers
It is known that l The family is extremely important in our lives. It is a socializing agent essential for our development. In fact, at early ages, the family is vital for survival, because humans need the help of adults for a relatively long period of time.
In addition, its relevance does not end there; the role of parents is essential to be able to grow up healthy and prepared to face the problems that may arise throughout our lives, even when we are already largely self-employed.
But parents are not the only important family figure for us; When they are present, the brothers are also usually there in the good times and the bad times. However, there are times when this fraternal relationship can become toxic. In this article, we will talk about the entrenched conflicts that may arise between brothers, and the concept of "toxic brothers" .
- You may be interested: "Toxic families: 4 ways in which they cause mental disorders"
A brother is a friend given by nature
The brothers not only share our genes, culture, education or social class, they also share the vast majority of experiences that happen to us within the family and live the same events as us.
However, Each person is unique and has his own personality. Two brothers raised under the same roof can develop different ways of behaving, however, both share the same memories and experiences.
Siblings are people you trust, who will rarely turn their backs on you; They can become our best friends. As the French poet and writer, Ernest Legouve says, "a brother is a friend given by nature."
When the relationship between siblings is not good
But Fraternal relationships can also be complicated . From small, the fights can be frequent, and of adults, some brothers can finish badly by different reasons, for example, by economic subjects. The complicated relationships between siblings can become very intense and generate situations in which hostility, rivalry, competitiveness, jealousy and sometimes hatred can manifest.
When a brother thinks that he is treated differently by the parents, when he thinks he is the black sheep of the family or when he receives a shared inheritance and does not have the same opinion as his other brother about what they should do with a property they have inherited, the battle can be very destructive.
Reasons for conflicts between brothers
Whether in childhood or in adulthood, there are many reasons for these fraternal disputes. Below you can find a list of reasons why siblings have toxic relationships:
1. Economic reasons
In adulthood, the brothers may stop speaking for different economic reasons. Some brothers fight because they share a company, and when the liquidity problems arrive, the relationship is affected. Others, however, experience a patrimonial fight (especially, by inheritance). The economic reasons they are a frequent source of family breakdown if you do not know how to manage these conflicts.
2. Search for attention
At early ages, siblings may be continuously fighting because they seek the attention of parents . Generally, they are usually tantrums that do not reach more, but in other occasions, the relationship can become conflictive, because the accumulation of conflicts can generate greater conflicts.
3. Comparisons of parents
Sometimes it is the parents who generate unsafe children. Children who, in one way or another, will seek the attention of the elderly to feel loved. One of the children may be very good at school, because they are good at the subjects taught at the school, whether it is mathematics or social science. In contrast, the other child may have great talent, for example, drawing or dancing.
This last brother will need the love of the parents to develop that passion that he treasures, but, as it happens many times, some parents only contemplate school grades when assessing the success of a child . That child may feel very frustrated, which may cause some rivalry with his other brother to feel underestimated.
4. Unfair parental treatment
Comparisons between siblings are not good, but it is not positive either to not treat children equitably. This can happen, for example, with the clothes that their parents buy them, the amount of money that they give them for the weekly pay or even the amount of love samples (hugs, kisses, etc.) that the parents distribute. Children are especially sensitive to this type of behavior of parents Therefore, care must be taken not to treat one child better than another.
5. Age difference
It seems that the difference in age can determine conflicts. Research shows that Children who are less than two years apart from each other they often have more conflicts than children with a greater age difference.
The older brother, whether a boy or girl, is usually more caring and understanding towards the younger. If the older brother is quite different in age, he may come to understand some of the reasons why his little brother is reacting in a certain way.
6. The stage of development
The stage of development can also influence when generating conflicts. For example, the brothers may have a better relationship in school age, but when they reach high school and the stage of change, the older brother may be a little disinterested in his relationship with his younger brother. The younger brother, in this case, can seek elder brother's attention through disputes .
7. Personal possessions
Another reason that fights between brother begin is when someone touches the other person's personal possessions. At younger ages it can be a toy, but in adolescence it is a piece of clothing. This can generate conflicts, especially if the object that they have borrowed without warning is damaged .
8. Different personalities
We all have different personalities and interests and this can generate many conflicts. Some people get irritated more easily than others, some are introverted, others extroverted, etc. The clash of personalities can cause serious disputes in fraternal relationships.
9. Deficit of social skills
If in some occasions it is the personality that causes the conflict, in others, it is the lack of social skills. Conflicts can arise in any interpersonal relationship, but A good command of social skills can help that conflict to be solved correctly . Otherwise, it may even end worse.
The ability to resolve their own problems and conflicts, empathy or the ability to negotiate and dialogue, among others, are factors that influence how family problems are resolved. Here parents have a lot to say.
- Related article: "The 14 main social skills to succeed in life"
10. Jealousy and envy
Jealousy and envy can be a source of conflict in the relationships of siblings at any age . Sometimes it is the insecurity of one of the brothers that causes this situation, because this can feel a tremendous sense of frustration to see that his brother has a better job or a spectacular partner.
