10 practical ways to build resilience
"What does not kill me makes me stronger".
-Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) - The sunset of the idols.
How do we deal with the difficult events and adverse circumstances that change our lives? The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a serious illness, a terrorist attack, a natural catastrophe or other traumatic events: all these are examples of difficult experiences that anyone can suffer at some time. Most people react in these situations with strong emotions and uncertainty, although they are generally able to adapt to these stressful conditions. What allows them to do it?
Resilience is the capacity that is involved in this process, a continuous process that requires time and effort and that allows people to cope with these challenging situations Step by Step.
It may interest you: "The 10 typical habits of resilient people"
You can find below ideas to understand the concept of resilience and some indications about how to develop it and improve it.
What is resilience?
The resilience is the process by which we perform a correct adaptation in the face of adversity, traumatic events , tragedies, diverse threats or sources of significant stress, such as family problems or personal relationships, serious health problems or financial and work stressors. It means recovering or recovering after a difficult experience.
Studies have shown that resilience is common; it is not an extraordinary ability. People usually show resilience throughout their lives; Examples of this are people who seek employment again after being dismissed by their old companies, families who rebuild their homes after a fire, or relatives of victims of a terrorist attack, who make the effort to continue with their lives despite the loss of a loved one.
The ability to overcome a loss situation
It could be said that resilience is integrity beyond resistance. It is the ability to overcome an adverse stimulus. The resilience involves maintaining flexibility and balance in life as difficult circumstances are faced and traumatic events.
Being resilient does not mean that the person does not experience difficulties or psychological stress. Emotional pain and sadness are common emotions among people who have suffered great hardships or traumatic moments in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is not simple, and is probably full of obstacles and situations of instability that can affect our emotional state.
It is important to know that resilience is not a trait that people have or do not have, but it is a concept that includes a series of behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and progressively developed by anyone who proposes . Being resilient is not an extraordinary being: this ability is in every person. The task is to develop this capacity with attitude and firmness.
10 ways to build resilience
Go generating capacity to create resilience is a personal project. Not all people react in the same way to traumatic or stressful situations. An approach to improving resilience can work in one person but not in another, so you can use different strategies to promote good coping .
Some of these variations usually reflect cultural differences. Culture can have an impact on how the person communicates their feelings and how they face adversity. An example of this are the different conceptions that exist of death in various cultures; while for the majority of western countries death is represented as the end of everything good, it is seen as an extremely negative fact and it is usually a taboo subject, for the orientals it constitutes the step towards the regeneration and the reaffirmation of the ancestral values who made up their community.
The key is to identify which tips can work with us and how they can be part of our own personal strategy to improve it. You can find below ten strategies that will help you develop resilience for yourself .
1. Establish supportive relationships within and outside the family
It is important build good relationships with close family members, friends and other important people in our lives . Accepting help and support from people who love us and listen help to provide role models and offer encouragement and security.Some people find that being active in community groups, organizations based on helping the disadvantaged, and other local groups can provide them with social support and help them have hope.
2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable obstacles
Events that produce tension can not be avoided, but you can change the way you interpret and react to them . Try to look beyond the present and think that in the future things will improve. See if there is any subtle way to feel better while facing difficult situations.
3. Accept that change is part of life
It is possible that as a result of an adverse situation you will not be able to reach certain goals. Accept the circumstances that can not be changed can help you focus on the circumstances that can be improved.
4. Go towards your goals
Develop your capacity to make realistic plans and follow the necessary steps to carry them out. Always act to get closer to your goals, even if they seem small achievements. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem like they can not be achieved, ask yourself about things that you can improve today and that will help you walk in the direction you want to go.
5. Carry out decisive actions
In adverse situations, Taking decisive action is better than ignoring problems and tensions and wish that they disappear. Do not be afraid to reflect on the situation in front of you and, the moment you think you have reached a conclusion, pull forward.
6. Look for opportunities to discover yourself
Many times, as a result of a struggle against adversity, people can learn something about themselves and feel that they have grown in some way on a personal level . Many people who have experienced tragedies and difficult situations have expressed improvement in the management of their personal relationships, an increase in personal strength even when they feel vulnerable, the feeling that their self-esteem has improved, a more developed spirituality and a greater appreciation of life.
7. Improve your communication and problem solving skills
The more we develop these capabilities, We will better know how to resolve our interpersonal conflicts and less stressful burden will fall on our person . It is also important to know how to handle strong feelings and impulses, to allow yourself to experience them and also to recognize when you have to avoid them in order to continue functioning.
8. Cultivate a positive vision of yourself
No one is perfect, each of us has strengths and areas for improvement. It is important to accept and love us as we are, trust in our strengths and abilities and try to improve our capabilities as much as possible.
9. Never lose hope
When we are optimistic in spite of the problems we will be better able to wait for good things to happen in life. Try to visualize what you want to achieve instead of worrying excessively about what you fear will happen or what could have been and was not. Even when you face very painful events that cause you great discomfort, try to consider the situation that is causing you tension in a broader context, and keep a long-term perspective .
10. Take care of yourself
You need to pay attention to the immaterial and yourself: for example, you should think about your needs and desires. Take interest in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly, it is beneficial for both your physical and psychological health. Healthy mens in corpore sano. Take care of oneself helps keep mind and body in good shape and ready to face situations that require resilience .
Other ways to promote your inner strength
Some additional ways to strengthen resilience could be very helpful. For example, I suggest you try writing about your deepest thoughts, emotions and feelings related to the traumatic experience or other stressful events in your life that cause you discomfort and discomfort today.
Meditation and some spiritual practices such as yoga or Mindfulness can also help some people to establish positive relationships, to improve their quality of life and to focus the future with a better perspective.
Some questions to ask yourself
Focusing on past positive experiences, developing positive moods and improving sources of personal strength, are factors that can help you decisively identify personal qualities and know the strategies that work for you when developing resilience.
Questions for self-exploration
With this little exercise of self-examination answering the following questions about yourself and your reactions to the challenges in your life you will discover how to effectively respond to difficult events.
- What types of events have you found most difficult?
- How have these events affected you psychologically?
- When you are stressed or hopeless, has it helped you to think about your loved ones?
- When you face a problematic and difficult experience, who have you come to help you?
- What have you been able to learn about yourself and your relationship with others when you have gone through complicated circumstances?
- Has it helped you provide emotional support to other people who are going through a similar situation?
- Have you been able to overcome the obstacles that have been appearing in your life? And if so, how did you do it?
- What is the main engine that you think has helped you the most?
I hope this article has helped you to get to know you better and discover your capacity for resilience, and develop it throughout your life .