Abuse in the couple: causes, effects and keys to understanding this phenomenon
Human beings are relational beings, that is, we can only understand ourselves in relation to others, and the main place where we learn to do it is the family. Statistics indicate that around 30-40% of families suffer some form of domestic or partner violence. Abuse in the couple is affecting more women, but men can also be victims.
When someone is a victim of partner abuse, it is necessary to distinguish between psychological abuse and physical abuse.
Physical abuse and psychological abuse
The psychological abuse it is based on intentional behavior, executed from a position of power and aimed at devaluing, producing psychic damage, destroying self-esteem and reducing personal confidence. Your condition leads to depersonalization, at the same time that it generates dependence on the person who inflicts them. The abuser uses insults, accusations, threats, destructive criticisms, shouts, manipulations, silences, indifference and contempt.
The physicist, in addition to all the above, is performed by hitting and provoking any type of physical pain, either with hands or with other objects, which may cause the death of the person attacked.
Abuse is a process that usually lasts for many years, which part of a situation of control and devaluation by the husband towards his wife or vice versa , and in which, among other things, it prevents your partner from developing social activities such as leaving your friendships or visiting your family.
Most aggressors do not use violence outside the family
Initially it was believed that intrafamily violence involved irrational, impulsive acts, in which the aggressor did not understand the consequences of their actions. The reality is that it is not a problem of losing control of oneself, but of taking control over the couple and / or children.
The majority of offenders do not use violence against other people outside the family, nor do they risk attacking in situations in which they anticipate negative consequences for themselves. Another widespread belief is that maltreatment in the couple is restricted to the poorest and most uneducated sectors, but in reality this is not an exclusive phenomenon of the poor sectors, and as you climb the social ladder there are more resources to hide this situation .
Regarding the consumption of alcohol, the reality is that it is a risk factor but it has been observed that it is not the direct cause of the abuse. Many alcoholics are not violent at home.
Why are there women who endure abuse?
In most cases the battered woman maintains the link with her abuser because she is economically and emotionally dependent , and due to ignorance of their rights. The fear of a fatal outcome also prevents many women from going to social services to ask for adequate help.
To prevent gender violence, it is necessary to change attitudes through coeducation, education in equal rights from childhood and adolescence and reeducation to adults. Coexistence presupposes free choice and non-ownership of people.
Men can also be victims of abuse
Partner violence is immediately associated with the battered woman. But, to a lesser extent, men can also be victims of partner violence.
The majority of cases of gender violence in which the man is the victim are due to psychological abuse. Men do not usually report for different reasons: lack of legal support and resources for abused men, problems of credibility or fear of ridicule.
