21 tips to be a good father and educate well
Raising a child is never easy. Being a father means taking into account a large number of aspects that can affect how our progeny can develop.
Although most parents do the best they can and in most cases they end up doing well, it is common to find people with doubts about what they should do to exercise their role in the best possible way.
Educate well: a challenge for parents in distress
In other words, it is not uncommon to ask what to do to be a good father (or mother). Therefore, in this article you can find a series of tips to be a good father and provide a stimulating environment and favor a correct physical and mental development.
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1. Communicate and listen to your children
Children need to show interest in them, they need to feel important to their loved ones . Listening to what they have to say, their experiences and concerns, implies that we care and are interested in them.
Also, the adult must also share their thoughts and emotions in a way that expresses confidence and allows a close bond. It is very important to talk with the children and not the children.
2. Share and spend time with them
The presence or absence of a concrete parent figure is a very influential factor in the development of a boy or girl .
Even if, due to work aspects, continuous contact is not possible, the time spent with the children must be enriching and active so that it is lived as something motivating and exciting. Talk, read, play, teach them things or take trips with them.
3. Give example
It is easy to tell someone what to do, but what you end up learning is what we see others do. Our children will imitate the behavior they observe at home. We must make our speech and our actions go hand in hand so that the child learns based on coherence.
Also, activities such as carrying out household chores, reading or doing sports are easily carried out if the child observes that their reference figures usually carry them out.
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4. Show affection
It has been shown that the fact that both parents show affection with their children improves the level of happiness and self-esteem of the latter. Express your love and affection for your children Directly is essential. It causes children to feel accepted and loved.
It is about making them see that they are loved unconditionally. They also learn to show affection towards others and that this expression is not inappropriate or shameful.
5. Set limits
It is essential that the child has certain limits (if flexible), facing know what to do and how far they can go . Being excessively permissive will make you not have a pattern by which to guide your behavior.
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6. Do not compare him with others
Making comparisons with other people may make the child think that he is not good enough or that he is appreciated or must appreciate himself based on what others have or do. Further, this harms the father-daughter relationship , as well as it can harm the possible relationship of the child with the people with whom it is compared.
7. Praise your achievements
Very often people emphasize the bad things that others do, while when they do something right we usually consider that what was done was done and no mention is made of it.
It is important for a child that when he does something well or fulfills a goal or achievement be praised and celebrated on the part of the parents. In this way the child sees its good behavior reinforced. This is one of the tips to be a good parent more useful in order to enhance the learning of children.
8. Do not overprotect him: give him space
A typical error of many parents is the idea of continuously protecting their child, trying to limit possible situations that may harm them. But overprotection does not let the individual learn and grow and makes it difficult for them to make their own decisions. Let him fall and make his own mistakes.
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9. Avoid rigidity
An overly rigid educational style can generate a pattern of fearful and insecure thinking and behavior, exaggerated reactivity or inflexible and limited behavior.
There needs to be some flexibility that makes see that things can change , that there are different points of view. They have to explain why the decisions. It is about providing limits and a certain order but without becoming a tyrant.
10Be interested in your vision of the world
They may not have the level of understanding of an adult's situation, but children also generate their own opinions about the world. Ask for your opinion It allows us to get to know our son better and can serve to clear up doubts and fears in the minor, as well as make him see that his opinion is important and valid.
11. No to over-demand
It is positive to believe in the possibilities of our children and motivate them to act and maximize their potential. However, we must try not to sue them too much and too quickly. Each person advances in life at the speed they can, and if it is demanded in excess it can end up blocking and / or provoking frustration and feeling that nothing he achieves is enough .
12. Do not shout at them
Sometimes the behavior of children can have negative effects and provoke some level of anger . However, being misbehaved is no reason to shout at them. The screams suppose a humiliating and painful act for them and they do not fix the situation. It is preferable to calmly explain to them why their actions are not correct and what results they have, including possible punishments.
13. Answer your doubts
Childhood and adolescence are times in which the youngest begin to observe different aspects of reality, discovering a large amount of information. The world is complex and what we observe can generate a lot of doubts. Answering them supposes to increase the information of the progeny with respect to the different aspects of the reality, at the same time as it allows a greater connection with them.
14. Do not suppress your emotions or yours
Suppressing emotions, whether the child's or your own, can cause the child to see them as a weakness or something aversive that should be hidden. It is highly recommended help their expression both directly and indirectly (through drawings or games).
For example, if a relative dies it is not bad to cry in front of the minor , since this teaches you that it is not bad to express sadness. This is necessary both for positive emotions such as joy or love and for negative emotions.
15. Monitor your expectations
It is logical that when a child is born their parents think about what it will be like to grow up and how they would like life to live. However, we must try not to make ourselves excessively rigid expectations.
You and your children are not the same person. We do not have to try to live the life that we would have lived, but we must support them to live the life they want to live .
16. Be consistent
Ambivalence in the treatment of minors , in the application of norms or the fact of not having established limits in a clear way, supposes a high level of confusion for the developing child.
If you punish him for something but then buy him a toy to make him happy you provoke a contradictory message in which he will not know if something is right or wrong. The same happens if the rules change according to those who obey them. It is necessary to have coherence when acting.
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17. Accept your mistakes and accept yours
We may be tempted to be heroes for our children , someone who never makes a mistake and does everything right. However, everyone makes mistakes. To recognize them supposes that the child is able to see the error not as something shameful but something from which it can be improved.
Explain the error and why this is an opportunity for learning and Acquisition of values such as honesty . In the same way it is necessary to accept that children make mistakes and not criticize or embarrass them for it, but understand and support them.
18. Generates a respectful family climate
It is very important for the correct development to have an adequate family atmosphere that generates positive stimulation and allows the acquisition of trust and of different values. This implies that we not only have to focus on the child as being, but also also in the environment that we are offering .
The bonding between the parents, their social life and participation in the community are aspects that will somehow end up being recorded in the minor's mind.
19. Educate her
It may seem obvious, but it is important to participate in education of the children. Showing them a way of seeing the world, teaching them how to act and how society works and the environment that surrounds them, establishing limits and transmitting norms and values such as respect, tolerance and coexistence are elements of great importance in the face of efficient and adaptive of the minor.
20. Do not get obsessed with being a perfect father
Although these councils are thought to reflect and visualize different important aspects in the education of a boy or girl, we do not have to obsess ourselves with the idea of doing everything well. There will be times when you feel bad, you lose patience, you do not realize that something is happening to your child, that you can not be present or that for some reason you make different mistakes .
Thinking that we must always be perfect is harmful because it loses spontaneity and gives the appearance of being forced, which reduces credibility.In addition, the idea is conveyed to the child that we should always be exquisite in our dealings with others, which can cause him to be excessively demanding in his relationships both on his part to others and vice versa.
21. Being a father is forever
Being a father is something for life . It is not something we can leave when we want or something that has an expiration date when, when the child reaches the age of majority. Maybe our adult children do not depend on us in the same way as in their childhood, but we should always be available to them.