4 dangerous lies that we tell each other every day

April 19, 2024

Nobody likes to be lied to, but realistically, all of us, at some point in our lives, have lied. This is what a book called "Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception" says, which was written by Pamela Meyer. In its pages there is an investigation that concluded that people lie between 10 and 200 times a day, since many times we only say part of the truth. We are social beings, and we usually adapt many sentences to what is considered socially acceptable .

In another book, in addition, the professor of Psychology of the University of Massachusetts, Robert Feldman, explains that "we say between two and three lies in the first 10 minutes of a conversation with someone we have known recently." According to Feldman, lying happens many times to protect our own self-esteem.

Several dangerous lies that we tell each other on a daily basis

Considering Friedman's claim, people often self-deceive many times to keep our self-esteem intact. But, What are the lies we say most often in our day to day?

1. Tomorrow I leave it

This phrase is often applied, for example, when a person is a smoker and knows what are the negative consequences for their health. Smokers, despite knowing that smoking hurts them, continue to do so. The case of smokers is a classic example of cognitive dissonance, a well-studied theory that is defined as anxiety, tension or discomfort that a person experiences when their beliefs and attitudes conflict with their behavior. This anxiety causes the person to deceive himself to reduce the discomfort.

The "tomorrow I leave" is a way of not having to make a decision at that time even though we see the negative consequences of our action . In the case of the smoker, you can see in television ads that smoking causes cancer, respiratory problems, chronic fatigue and even death. In addition, images and a clear message appear on the tobacco pack.

Despite these messages, the smoker continues to smoke despite knowing that he should be healthy and that this drug is harmful to his health. Studies of cognitive dissonance show that people avoid such anti-tobacco messages and even justify with thoughts such as: "I'll have to die".

If you want to know more about the theory of cognitive dissonance proposed by Leon Festinger, you can read our article: "Cognitive dissonance: the theory that explains self-deception"

2. Tomorrow I start

The "I start tomorrow" is a classic of those people who have the habit of postponing without any valid justification their tasks or activities . It is what is known as procrastination, and it is more common than it seems. In fact, a survey conducted on 1347 subjects showed that one in four had a strong tendency to procrastinate. The study also concluded that there are no significant differences between men and women.

Another investigation that tried to find out how much a person procrastinates, found that employees, on average, postpone their main task one hour and twenty minutes each day. In the case of students, 32% are likely to carry out this habit, according to a study by Patterns of Academic Procrastination.

Depending on the situation, the "morning I start" can cause serious problems, for example, stress when tasks accumulate. On the other hand, this phrase is also typical when a person has serious difficulties to begin physical activity, so their health will also be affected.

You can learn more about this phenomenon in our article: "Procrastination or the syndrome of" I'll do it tomorrow ": what it is and how to prevent it"

3. Life is rosy (false optimism)

Optimism can be a great virtue when it comes to living a happy and full life, because optimistic individuals see the good side of life and the positive, instead of reveling in the negative. Optimistic people tend not to compare themselves with others, they are realistic, they know how to self-motivate, they enjoy the present, they know what they want, they have a high self-confidence, they pass criticism, they have control over their lives and they are honest with themselves.

But this has nothing to do with false optimism, which is pretending to be an optimistic person and believe that life is rosy. False optimism is a mask that means that we do not have to reflect on life and avoid making compromised decisions . False optimists are not honest with themselves, they have no control over their lives and they are not realistic.

Related article: "11 characteristics of optimistic people"

4. Wanting is power

"Wanting is power" is an excellent motivating phrase, which can help many people achieve their goals . But this phrase should not be used at face value, because it is not always true that you can have everything you want or get where you want. When we set goals and objectives, they must be realistic, otherwise, they can lead to frustration and discomfort.

Imagine someone who has a problem with the voice and wants to be a singer. This phrase is fine when a person has a potential and talent that can develop. In other cases, where it is impossible to achieve the objective, the alternative is acceptance. Of course, the key is to detect what we are good at and then it does make sense to apply this motivating phrase.

Related article: "101 motivating phrases to focus on success"

How is the brain of a liar

These lies or self-deceptions are quite frequent among the population, now well, some people are compulsive liars. Scientific studies have shown that a liar's brain has some characteristics.