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5 common mistakes in anger management

5 common mistakes in anger management

June 20, 2024

The management of emotions is one of the difficulties that most current society faces. In addition to anxiety or sadness, anger is one of the instinctive and universal emotions that generates more interference in personal well-being.

Let's see how dismantling a series of beliefs about anger management It can allow the individual to cope more effectively in situations that may lead to reactions of this nature.

  • Related article: "How to control anger: 7 practical tips"

Harmful consequences of anger

The expression of rabies in an uncontrolled way can cause us significant damage in different areas of our personal lives.


1. Deterioration of interpersonal relationships

It seems that we show more instinctive reactions of anger with the people of our closest environment (family, friends and co-workers), that is, that the most significant personal relationships tend to be the most affected .

2. Aggravation of the conflict

Usually, when trying to dialogue with another person when the level of anger is intense, the exchanges are not constructive since at that moment it is the emotional part of the brain that is dominating the response of the individual (to the detriment of the more rational brain).

  • Perhaps you are interested: "The model of the 3 brains: reptilian, limbic and neocortex"

3. Facilitation of a violent operation of the person

Responses manifested from rabies are often associated with the expression of violent behaviors and aggressions (verbal or physical) towards the other. Thus, when anger dominates the psychological state of the subject the instinctive desire to hit, shout, threaten is greater , breaking objects, etc.


4. Predisposition and greater proportion in the appearance of diseases

From research in the area of ​​health psychology, the personality called Type A (hostile, irritable functioning and with high levels of stress) is associated with a high propensity to suffer cardiovascular accidents .

  • Related article: "Your health depends on your personality type (science shows)"

5. Personal emotional instability

An acute difficulty in the management of anger can lead to dysfunctional psychological states such as depression, anxiety disorders or feelings maintained in the time of insecurity, guilt, low self-esteem, low tolerance to frustration, etc.

Myths about anger management

These are some misconceptions about anger management:

1. Anger diminishes if it manifests openly

It is true that anger must be channeled in some way because, otherwise, its unlimited accumulation and maintained over time can lead the person to the appearance of the consequences discussed in the previous section.


But nevertheless, this channeling should not be through its active expression , since it has already been observed that an operation based on this emotion leads to an internalized attitude of responding in this way to any situation, regardless of whether it is irrelevant or very important for the individual.

2. Running away or avoiding the problematic situation lowers the level of anger

Being a strategy usually known as "dead time", sometimes it is recommended that the person not be exposed to situations that can trigger this type of reactions.

It is true that, as stated above, the attempt to hold an assertive conversation to facilitate the resolution of the conflict when it is very upset is usually not effective or useful. Therefore, at first, the person can postpone coping of the situation for a limited time, provided that once the reflection process has been completed (which allows for a more rational, empathetic and comprehensive analysis), resolve the pending issue in a calm and assertive manner.

3. Anger allows to achieve the desired objective

This idea is, in addition to false, very dangerous since it transmits the message to the people around (even more in the case of minors) that this is the methodology that should be followed as a way to obtain what one proposes: the imposition, the generation of fear to the other, the non-dialogue, and ultimately the contempt for the dissenting party.

All these values ​​do not report at all an emotional wellbeing of their own. On the other hand it is false because usually, taking into account the different styles of communication and behavioral functioning (aggressive, passive and assertive style), the person who uses anger (aggressive profile) can find an opposition response to his behavior (if you have another aggressive person - dysfunctional opposition - or assertive - functional opposition -).

Four.The analysis of past personal history fights anger

The fact of studying the individual psychological development of the person can be useful to understand the factors that have derived in the current functioning and attitudinal style of the individual in question.

Even so, from the point of view of one of the psychological currents with more empirical support, the cognitive-behavioral current, are the elements of the present (personal, environmental and their interaction) that determine mainly the behavior of the human being.

The so-called "functional analysis" of the individual and the responses that the latter emits in certain situations It will serve much more useful to know what aspects are precipitating, maintaining or aggravating the angry behavior. The latter are the ones that can be influenced to achieve a real modification of behavior.

5. External events are the sole cause of individual anger

In view of the above, the external elements that appear in situations in which the person manifests anger reactions should be taken into account in the same way that internal or personal factors should be considered. The REBT, or Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy of Albert Ellis, defends the deep analysis and questioning of a series of nuclear beliefs that the person has about themselves, the environment and the world in general (irrational beliefs) that are preventing the application of a more logical, rational and realistic interpretation of the situations to which the individual is exposed.

Therefore, a fundamental element in the level of emotional affectation that produces everything that happens to the person every day is given by the cognitive interpretation of the situation, and not the situation itself.

In short, it is understood that in the face of unpleasant events, the person can work and modify their own perspective before said events, the result of which will have an impact on the appearance of a more adaptive state of mind.

Learning to manage emotions

As it has been observed, it seems that proper management of anger is essential to prevent a series of consequences that can compromise both our physical and psychological health.

From the argument about the wrongness of the five premises exposed on the management of rage maintained over time, can be reached a more extensive knowledge on what may be the alternative forms of management more adaptive of this type of emotion so disabling.

Bibliographic references:

  • Ellis, A. (1999). Control your anger before she controls you. Paidós: Barcelona.
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