The problem of positive thinking: 4 keys to understanding it
Positive thinking can be a very beneficial mental disposition if we are realistic with the environment that surrounds us and the situation in which we find ourselves. After all, many of the problems that we usually deal with on a day-to-day basis are more fictitious and manufactured by ourselves than real.
But nevertheless, Positive thinking can become a trap that invites us to avoid facing the problems with which we find ourselves in our day to day life.
- Maybe you're interested: "How would you like to be? Work your skills from positive psychology"
Positive thinking as an excuse
While the popular saying says "bad weather, good face", it is necessary to analyze this phrase and be aware that not only is it enough to put a good face on bad weather. Imagine a rainy day when we have to go to work on foot. If we do not make use of an umbrella we will get wet, so that in bad weather we have to find a solution: remove the umbrella.
As Bárbara Ehrenreich, author of the book says Smile or die: The trap of positive thinking"When we have problems, looking the other way can make us feel better at the beginning, but not in the long run. Being emotionally intelligent will allow us to be connected with reality and our emotions, which in the long run will be better than avoiding the problems that may appear in our lives. " We must face the delicate situations, it is not enough to put a smile and hope that they will solve themselves.
- Related article: "80 short positive thoughts to motivate you"
How are positive people
Our attitude can help us overcome bad times in life, but it is not the only requirement to solve the problems that are presented to us. That said, it is always better to look forward with a positive mentality than with a negative mentality. When the positive mentality adds to the ability to solve problems, realism and courage, our welfare increases .
But, how are people with a positive mentality? These individuals have a series of characteristics that you can find below.
- Do not deceive yourself , because they are sincere with themselves and make use of self-reflection.
- They have a high self-esteem and are valued in a positive way.
- They fall when they get up, and see in the failures opportunities to grow and learn.
- They fight for their own dreams and for its vital objectives.
- They self-motivate despite the adversities and obstacles encountered along the way.
- They do not compare themselves with others because they have found peace with themselves.
- Live the present moment and enjoy their day to day.
- They know and manage their own emotions well and understand those of others.
If you want to delve into these characteristics, you can read this article: "11 characteristics of optimistic people"
The problems of positive thinking: its limitations
Positive thinking can be good in some situations, but not in all, because sometimes we get carried away by beliefs based on falsehoods. Let's see what are the limitations of this type of thinking.
1. Positive thinking is more than just attitude
To think that with positive attitude we will obtain everything in the life and we will avoid that the difficult situations disappear is an error. Positive thinking must always be accompanied by a strong personality and good self-esteem , in addition to a realistic thought. Therefore, one of the positive mentality can prevail and hope that everything happens in their favor.
In this sense, having your feet on the ground is a key factor to avoid irrational expectations . Positive people can also fail, the key is to get up, grow as people and follow their path.
2. Positive thinking does not solve problems
Positive thinking can help to be motivated to move forward, but It is not the only aspect that we must take into account to solve problems . We have to do our part so that things are solved and go as we want, so the will and realism are necessary.
Likewise, believing in oneself is also necessary in order not to break down in difficult moments, because otherwise we would be talking about false self-confidence, and we would use positive thinking to excuse ourselves and not have to face reality. If you want to know more about false self-confidence you can read the article "False self-confidence: the heavy mask of self-deception".
3. Positive thinking does not equal happiness
There are many factors that influence the happiness of a person, and believe that with positive thinking everything will be rosy is irrational. As I said, positive thinking it is not something that one must impose on oneself , but that the person must possess a strong personality and a healthy self-esteem and, in addition, adopt this way of thinking.Of course, always realistically.
Positive thinking is not looking to other sides when when things are not going well, but to face reality and accept it as it is. Afterwards, one can look to the future with hope and work on the path he wants for himself.
4. One can not have positive thinking all the time
You can not live life with a smile on your face all the time , as if the context in which one lives does not matter. There are situations in which one must suffer and cry if necessary, as a way to get rid of the emotions that affect him. Experiencing pain at some point in our life is totally normal. In fact, the best learnings are those that occur after an adverse situation.
As I said in the previous lines, false optimism is an attempt to hide low self-esteem . It is not necessary to show a smile and pretend that everything is going well. That, sooner or later, disappoints, despairs and frustrates a person.