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5 keys to know if a relationship will last

5 keys to know if a relationship will last

July 14, 2024

In a fluid and changing world, increasingly individualistic and in which interpersonal relationships tend to be increasingly superficial, maintaining a stable relationship over time is a task that can be difficult for a large number of people.

Determining if a couple is going to stay in time can be highly complex, although some aspects may allow us to predict in part where the relationship is heading. Therefore, below we offer you a series of 5 keys for know if a relationship will last .

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How to know if a relationship will last

It is difficult to establish if a couple is going to last or not and how much, taking into account that each person thinks, feels and acts differently and has different needs and conceptions of what it means to be a couple. However, as a general rule we can identify some aspects that make a relationship tend to last . Five of them are the following.


1. Relationships of equality, respect and empathy

An essential element for a couple to last and maintain a healthy relationship is that both parties maintain a relationship of relative equality. That is to say, that the two components strive, negotiate and know how to find a balance between their own needs and satisfactions and those of their loved ones. There must be a give and take, a give and take. Respect and be respected , that is contemplated and you have truly taken into account what you want each one is one of the basic pillars of a good relationship.

For the subsistence of a relationship, it is necessary to take into account how the other feels based on what we know about him / her and what emotions and thoughts he / she may experience depending on what happens or what we do, even if those questions are not expressed directly . It is about taking into account the other.


The existence of positions of superiority and inferiority in a relationship makes one of the parties feel aggrieved and underestimated , weakening the union between the members of the couple. The fact that one person does everything for the other while the second does not contribute anything, or that one of them always has to give in to the other's pretensions provokes insane relationships that in the long run will end up breaking, or causing much suffering in the case of staying due to some kind of dependency.

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2. Together, but independent

In many films and novels we can see or hear the phrase "We are one". Although this phrase is beautiful in the sense that it reflects a feeling of unity with the couple, taking it to the extreme is highly damaging. The people who make up a couple do not stop being independent beings with their own lives. While spending time together is also essential for the couple as such to exist, it is necessary to maintain the individuality of each of its components.


Do activities separately allows the world not to limit itself to a single relationship , in addition to sharing what each one lives separately is an enriching element that helps to strengthen and introduce new features in the relationship.

Otherwise, patterns of behavior and even thinking may be established to promote a relationship of dependence, which can lead to serious problems when there are conflicts or even if one of the members decides to terminate the relationship.

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3. Basic characteristics or values ​​are shared

In the study of affective and romantic relationships, one of the most discussed points is whether it is a better predictor of conjugal happiness to have similar traits or whether it is better to have large differences. Although it can not be applied to all cases, the conclusion of this debate and of various investigations related to this topic reflects that although it is true that characteristics very different from one's own may be attractive at first, in general those couples tend to last longer. They have elements in common.

It is not about being identical or having the same personality, but sharing some elements such as expectations regarding what their union entails, the level of interest in the other or vital expectations and being able to make compatible the characteristics that differentiate us . Personality traits that oppose frontally , for example, they tend (we repeat that it is a generalization, there being cases in which the opposite happens) end up destabilizing and eroding the relationship.

4. Devote time and effort

A healthy relationship requires that everyone has their space, but it is necessary to take into account that the couple is not an accessory in our lives either. It is necessary to dedicate time for it to work properly.

Spend time together, experience new things, laugh and enjoy the sense of humor and mutual company, talk and communicate, have sex and ultimately do things together and counting on the other is necessary for our relationship to endure.

If on the contrary, the avoidance of contact is chosen the person is going to feel unimportant and not valued, eroding the relationship and having an unfavorable prognosis.

5. There is a fluent communication

One of the basic pillars of any relationship (and even in other relationships) is communication. But this should not be understood by talking a lot, but by expressing our doubts, fears, thoughts, beliefs and deep emotions. Communicating how we feel or what we think helps the other person participate in our life, while making them feel valued and trustworthy. Also the couple can help to adopt different points of view or motivate to act in a certain way, overcome problems or simply enrich one's life while helping us to better understand each other, strengthening the relationship.

To feel supported and valued the other, worthy of trust, is something fundamental. However, one aspect must be taken into account: Communicating does not refer only to telling us what is good. The existence of conflicts is normal and even healthy in the couple, since it is communicating the presence of elements that make one of its parts do not feel quite right. In fact many couples end up breaking by the fact of not communicating harmful aspects of the relationship in time. Of course, such communication must be carried out with respect to the other's feelings and trying to put themselves in their place.


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