6 keys to combat self-sabotage and meet objectives
All the people throughout their life have tried on occasion to generate a change in their life. This change can be a personal change, such as quitting or professional, such as working to get a promotion.
However, it is a fact that changes cause fear and that this fear of leaving our comfort zone can cause us to truncate our attempts to succeed. Dodging these attempts is not easy but throughout this article they show several keys to combat self-sabotage .
- Related article: "5 ways of thinking that can limit your mind"
Why does self-sabotage appear?
There are a large number of reasons why people end up interfering, more or less unconsciously, on their way to success or to the achievement of any goal or objective.
Usually, the reasons why this tends to happen are related to self-concept . That is, with the opinion that the person has about itself. This opinion originates and molds throughout life, so that modifying it is complicated, but not impossible.
This self-concept is configured from the first years of the person's life. So it is essential that during childhood the child receives messages of support and security, since the opinion that is formed about his capacity during this time will accompany him practically for the rest of his life.
- Related article: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"
The importance of self-concept
It is common for those people who during their childhood and adolescence they will develop a great self-perception of failure or mediocrity find more difficulties when it comes to achieving their goals or dreams. However, this perception of oneself can be transformed and reversed if the person is willing to do so.
Taking into account all the above, the main requirement to end self-sabotage is that the person is aware of what beliefs they have about themselves, and what ideas about their identity has been repeated throughout their lives. In this way you can begin to modify them so that they do not interfere with your path to success.
There are hundreds of ways to sabotage yourself, from small, practically unconscious behaviors to meaningful behaviors with which the person know in advance that you are frustrating your attempts to get something . Some of the most recognizable manifestations that a person is self-sabotaged are:
- Put the lack of time as an excuse not to do what he would like but that scares him.
- Pre-empting continuously less relevant tasks or with less feared consequences.
- Replace with immediate reward behaviors so as not to face the problem.
How to fight self-sabotage?
As mentioned above, the first step to combat self-sabotage is that the person recognizes that within it there are a series of harmful beliefs and that these are sabotaging their attempts to progress.
It is also necessary to be aware that, despite the fact that there are hundreds of circumstances that can condition our successes or failures, the person himself is responsible for his decisions and above all of those decisions that end up becoming self-sabotage.
Once these beliefs are recognized and with the appropriate motivation to change them, the person can already begin to carry out a series of good habits that prevent him from falling back into self-sabotage. Some of these habits consist of:
1. Be convinced that it is possible
As discussed throughout the article, beliefs about ourselves determine our perception of everything we do. In this way, if we believe in advance that we are not going to achieve something or believe that we will not be up to the task, this will surely happen.
Therefore, the first step to avoid self-sabotage is to start changing our beliefs and, little by little, begin to believe that yes we can get it .
2. Work motivation
Most of the time people do not get to see their projects or aspirations come true because they do not have the techniques or skills necessary to work and develop their motivation. So many great intentions or great ideas do not come to see the light only because of the fact that motivation and commitment have been declining during the journey.
Some tips to maintain motivation, remember why we have started a project and commit to it are:
- Start a diary about the project that describes what you want to achieve; write down the aspirations, the objectives and how we feel while we carry it out.
- Explain our project to a few trusted people . If our aspirations are externalized, they become more tangible and, in addition, our commitment to them will increase.
- Prepare an action plan . In many cases we fail in our attempts to achieve any goal by simply not knowing exactly what steps to follow. To avoid this and avoid fear of the unknown, it is best to write a small script that shows us the different steps or stages to follow.
3. Go little by little
No matter how motivated a person starts a project if they start very intensively or try to achieve huge goals it is very likely to get tired more easily , or even that I get to experience feelings of frustration when I can not reach them.
Taking into account that great things are not achieved in a short time, the best option to achieve a big goal is to break it down into smaller, more accessible objectives. Also, these small objectives have the advantage of enhancing our effectiveness and changing our self-concept, making the negative beliefs we have about ourselves change for the better.
4. Be aware that it will not be a simple path
Knowing that both the path we have to travel and the changes in our lives that this can bring will not be easy prepares us to be able to face them more effectively .
The changes involve leaving our comfort zone and facing new unknown situations, so if we are aware of this discomfort and we mentalize to remain firm despite it, we will find ourselves much closer to success.
- Perhaps you are interested: "Do we value more what we achieve with a lot of effort?"
5. Find a balance
One of the most effective techniques when facing big changes in our life is to try to maintain stability on a mental, physical and emotional level. If we manage to maintain balance in these three levels we will find ourselves much calmer and we will eliminate the possible interferences that may alter the development of our projects.
It is true that this is not achieved from one day to the next, but through effort and tenacity we can achieve it. If our mind is in order, if we provide energy to our body and if we maintain emotional stability, the achievement of our goals will be much simpler and lighter .
6. Know the external influences
Our social context, family environment and friends can have a great influence on us, and this does not have the reason to always be good. On many occasions our attempts to change or achieve a goal are not realized because our environment limits them .
For example, a person who wants to stop smoking will find it much more difficult to quit if in one of their environments such as work or friends there are smokers.
In this way, if we know what these limitations or obstacles are that we can find, it will be much easier for us to avoid them. A good way to integrate them is make a list of possible obstacles that we can meet along the way.
Marta Torres, Psychologist and Coach
