How to like someone? Gary Chapman gives us 5 techniques
When we are meeting someone, trying to convince a person to buy us a product or service, starting a relationship or any other type of interaction in which we expect to obtain a positive response from the recipient (s), normally The first thing we try to do is to please the other person to fulfill our mission.
We each have our own tactics to make this happen, although not everyone is especially good at this. So... How to like someone to have us in good consideration? In this article we will see 5 techniques that could help you establish that positive connection with people.
- Related article: "The psychology of attraction, in 12 keys"
The 5 languages to like someone
Gary Chapman proposed a theory based on 5 languages so that we can please others. Chapman considered this proposal as a set of key tools to have a positive relational influence with others.
Each person can have developed the 5, but in different dimensions; Depending on the dominant language of each person, it will change the way in which you can get to please more easily. It is important, to fulfill the goal of pleasing, that we know the language of appreciation of others, to "speak" to them in theirs, not in ours.
1. Words of affirmation
They are simple positive words or phrases that make the other person feel that he is doing things well or that is on the right track. Make compliments.
2. Quality time
Pay attention to someone, without distractions. Do what the other person likes, without necessarily enchanting the activity. Spend time together and share experiences .
3. Give details
Give tangible gifts. They are symbols of appreciation, recognition and acceptance; they generate a suitable environment for the exchange of emotions and ideas.
4. Service acts
Here the phrase "less words, more actions" applies. For people with this language as their dominant, the words are completely empty, so a good speech will be difficult to make them like you. They are small acts like opening the door, helping to load things, bring a coffee to the office, cook for another, etc.
5. Physical contact
It is a very powerful form of communication. The peculiarity of this language is that we must know exactly when to use it and in what . Using it correctly, it is an excellent resource of expression.
In love
These languages also can be applied in the loving environment , because in a couple, each person has different ways of expressing love and different ways in which they like others to show theirs. So it is important that both recognize their primary language, thus avoiding many misunderstandings and resentments during the relationship.
The key to being able to use these languages to please someone is Be empathetic and receptive to identify which is the predominant in each person , so know what is the best way to approach them and get a positive response. In addition to expressing appreciation, we will also receive a reward, strengthen our skills to use any of the 5 efficiently.
- Maybe you're interested: "The 6 theories of interpersonal attraction"
Establishing a special connection
In the therapeutic field, these languages are very useful to create rapport with patients. But it is important know the language they use the most to be able to use it and have favorable results . Exemplifying each one, in terms of words of affirmation can be used phrases like "You go very well", "you have had many advances", "how good you decided to come", "you are very brave / very persistent". Phrases that motivate him to keep going.
Quality time is simply active listening , show interest in what you are telling and not get distracted by doing other things. Give details may be to give cookies, candy or snacks during the sessions or a small gift on his birthday. As for service acts can be small actions such as opening the door when it arrives, handkerchiefs in case you need them.
And finally, physical contact is a little more restricted in a therapy, but you can give a pat on the thighs or on the back of the patient, if appropriate. Similarly, Each psychologist has a different relationship with each patient and knows what the limits are in terms of physical contact.
