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"I want to change my life": 23 steps to start over

April 28, 2024

Everyone, at some point in our life, we wanted to change. Either because the couple left us and we had a lot of the blame or because we were doing a university career that, in reality, was not what we wanted.

Change is normal for humans and nature, but it is not always easy. From these experiences it is very normal and understandable to reach the following conclusion: "I want to change my life" .

Keys to change life

Change or transformation is an individual process that begins in oneself, therefore, we are the main drivers of our change. But it is frequent that our own beliefs or the fear to change can interfere in the change of life that we so much imagine.


If you are determined to change, in the following lines you will find the necessary steps to carry out the change process.

1. Know yourself

At the time of beginning again, the first step is to know oneself . Know what your wishes are, what are the qualities you have and what direction you want to follow. The first step to change is self-reflection and self-knowledge.

  • Recommended article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

2. Find a purpose in your life

Self-knowledge is the key to being able to find out what one's purpose in life is. Having a vital goal is key because it keeps us motivated: it is the force that helps us move and that structures our day to day. Now, changing not only consists in visualizing the purpose, but in enjoy the road while pursuing .


3. Do it for you

To do the above effectively, it is necessary to connect with oneself, that is why it is so useful to know oneself thoroughly. Because many times we think we want to change, but it is the opinion of others that influences us in such a way that We believe that what they impose on us is what we want . The goals to pursue must be genuine, otherwise it will be difficult to change.

4. Open to change

The previous point leads us to make the decision to change, and therefore, it is necessary to have a good dose of will. Opening to change means being willing to transform and pursue goals through a certain amount of effort.

5. Plan the change

Once we are clear about our desire to change and we know what we want to change, it is necessary to plan the change. If it is even possible to have it written on paper, it is easier to visualize and allows us to make less effort when it comes to the mind when we need it. Hand that to go fixing small sub-objectives and to put them date.


6. But ... set short-term goals

It is not only worth setting long-term goals, but we need to take short-term goals into account as well, as it is the only way we are motivated during the change process and that we do not forget our commitment.

7. Get out of the comfort zone

The comfort zone is an intangible place where we feel protected and comfortable , and leaving this area means that we have to make an effort to put to the test mental schemes that, despite appearing adaptive, are not always so.

  • Related article: "How to get out of your comfort zone? 7 keys to achieve it"

8. Do not be afraid of uncertainty

And is that leaving the comfort zone can cause a degree of anxiety , largely because of the fear of uncertainty. Not knowing what awaits us when we change can produce fear if we do not have enough confidence in ourselves or if we only visualize the negative consequences of the transformation. That is why we must put aside this irrational fear and seek Analyze risks calmly and analytically .

9. Be aware that there may be ups and downs

Accepting that we can fail is also positive . That does not mean that we should give up if things do not go as we wish, but we must be prepared to improve ourselves and get up as soon as possible after a fall.

10. Automotívate

Knowing how to become self-motivated is also one of the keys to change, and it is one of the best qualities that a person can possess.

  • If you want to know how to do it, you can read this article: "The 10 keys to motivate oneself"

11. Do not compare yourself with anyone else

Change is an individual process: it is you who says "I want to change my life", not another person subject to a context very different from yours. That is why you should not compare yourself with others, but remain faithful to yourself and your desires and fight with all your strength.

12. Do not ignore the opinions of others

Nor should you listen to all the opinions of others, because Some people tend to project their own fears on you . If someone does not have the will to change, he probably does not believe that you can do it either.

13. Think of the reward

To continue self-motivated during the change process it is important that you visualize the reward or the positive consequences of achieving the change. However, it is important not to forget that the process of transformation is in itself a reward.

14. Love yourself

It is also important that you do not be too hard on yourself and accept that things may not go exactly as you planned. Of course, you can rectify and learn from failures. If you do not have empathy with you, who will have it?

15. Be realistic

The objectives and goals that we propose must always be realistic, otherwise, we may find ourselves with false expectations that can interfere in the process of change and lead to frustration, which is not only unpleasant but also takes away the desire to strive .

16. Challenge your limiting beliefs

The limiting beliefs are those irrational thoughts that do not allow us to change and that they interfere with our individual growth . For example, "I am not able to do this because I always have bad luck." Overcoming this type of thinking is necessary to not stay halfway to change.

17. Take responsibility

Taking responsibility means empowering oneself in the face of change. It is the ability to respond to the events that occur around us with sufficient self-leadership capacity, which allows us to overcome adversity. You must be clear that you are the person responsible for your decisions.

18. Give up victimhood

The opposite of taking responsibility for the change is to become the victim. While responsibility is action, Victimization is paralyzing .

19. Get help

Accept the help of others If you think that the urge to lend a hand is genuine . If among your friends or family there is nobody able to help you in certain things, you can consider the option of hiring coaches, teachers or coaches. Coaches are experts in personal development and help people improve their self-knowledge, plan realistic goals, empower themselves against change and self-motivate. Hiring a professional in this field can be useful to maximize your chances of transformation.

20. Do not lose sight of the present

Keeping your feet on the ground is vital to carry out the process of change, that's why it's important to be in the here and now , connected with oneself. It is good to have change in mind, but to get change you have to work daily and do not forget where you are on a day to day basis.

21. Take the road to learn

When things do not go as planned It is necessary to learn from experience and take the course again , that is, re-engaging in the change. Successful people are those who learn from failures and get up again and again after falling.

22. Practice detachment

Detachment, understood as emotional liberation, is key to the process of change. This does not mean getting rid of important people in our lives, but it helps us visualize things from a much more realistic and less emotional perspective.

  • You can know more about detachment in this article: "5 laws of detachment to be free emotionally"

23. Learn to manage emotions

Both the excess and lack of motivation can interfere in the process of change, and although some think that the excess of motivation is positive, can cause us too high expectations in the process of change, which can lead to frustration. Being aware of our emotions and learning to manage them is a determining factor in personal transformation.

Start again is let go

In conclusion we can highlight the idea that to change you have to learn to make decisions, accept commitments and accept the idea that it is better to get rid of certain elements of our day to day.

In this way, personal development will be carried out effectively and there will be no demotivating and frustrating setbacks.


5 Steps To Change Your Life - Mindset Monday (April 2024).


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