The because of the causes
If we had to choose a question that usually comes to mind in a recurrent way in the most difficult and complicated moments of our existence, for me that would be none other than the incognito that begins with a "why?" .
If you have decided to start reading this article, it has probably been motivated by the interest that the question in question raises. Well, especially for you, this reflection is important.
- Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"
Search the answers about everything
Why has this happened to me? Why did he leave? Why do not you love me? Why can not I get it? Why do I fall again and again into the same trap? Why do not people like me? Why is the world like this? Why do people behave that way? Why, why, why ...?
As a defense mechanism, we try to understand in a more or less logical way , more or less fair, more or less rational, a world that in many occasions has little of logical, fair or rational. But as if it were a bureaucratic request, it costs us horrors to skip that first step of the procedure. That phase in which we unequivocally understand that something is failing, is not going as we expected or it is simply that and we have to accept it, however absurd it may seem.
Such is the case of children who, having everything, do not know how to value anything and that in the face of any daily setback, they are unable to overcome the resulting level of frustration. Or those couples, who seem perfect, overnight make us bewildered by their incomprehensible break. There is also the reason for those who are young, beautiful and slender, at the same time insecure, pusillanimous or conformist. Or why the talented young man who is continually dedicated to waste his talent, preferring other channels for guiding his destiny.
There is also the why of the boss, who likes to surround himself with subjects instead of critics, for the greater glory of his ego in the face of the success of his company. Or the why of the one who enjoying innumerable strengths, fears the worst auguries that may never arrive, in many areas of his existence ... and before all of them, you could pose something even deeper and incomprehensible at the same time, the why of my why.
Get out of the vicious circle of thought
Following the usual script of a literary article, now would be the precise moment in which it would be convenient to offer the pertinent answers to the questions posed, but I am very much afraid that, whoever expected such a thing at this moment, will be beginning to feel a certain feeling of disappointment at the same time that it advances on these lines.
Effectively, I do not have a unique, genuine or original answer that can offer an answer to the innumerable list of "why" raised so far and even if I had it, I doubt that I could offer peace or satisfaction to anyone who maintained such expectations. If that has been your case, it may be advisable to sharpen your senses and pay even more attention, if possible, to what follows this paragraph.
- You may be interested: "How do we think?" The two thought systems of Daniel Kahneman "
Go beyond motives
When we consider a why, we start a trip. A trip that brings us back to our past. We passed again and again the horror movie that led us to consider the need to find an explanation to such misfortune, because when things go well, there are few who raise the "why" of it and if they do, do not usually spend too much time in developing the relevant analysis.
My question for the first ones would be: what do you hope to find there, in the past, that you have not already found? This figurative journey to the past, to what we were, what we did or what we lost will only justify or say otherwise, to excuse our present behavior, irrevocably condemning us to repeat our fateful destiny again and again, due to the immobility that happens to this type of analysis.
If what we want is to leave behind an episode, overcome a limitation, grow, advance and develop, we can not settle for an explanation, with a "why" . We will have to look for arguments of change, motivations and illusions that implement new actions, which in turn can produce new results, because if we are aware of something, it is that where these "why" take us, it is not where we want to go.
