Why are there people who are always late for appointments?
It seems incredible, but there are people who seem to be unable to reach the sites on time despite planning the schedules and having their eyes fixed constantly on the clock . It is problematic, especially when this delay, which is related to the time at which the trip to the meeting place has started, is joined by unexpected incidents, or when there is not much trust with the people waiting.
Arriving late tends to be a nuisance for both the person waiting and the person who is delayed, and yet it is very common to leave with just the right time (or even at the time it has been left). How can it be explained that it costs us so much to learn from mistakes and leave in advance? There are different reasons that can explain the existence of these "chronic tardones".
Possible reasons why you are late (always, everywhere)
There must be some explanation why certain people are very likely to be late everywhere , while others show an English punctuality. Can this difference have something to do with some psychological aspect?
1. Being too narcissistic
People with narcissistic personality are prone to have problems when it comes to putting themselves in the place of others. This implies, among other things, that they will not assume the fact that each time they arrive late will cause discomfort to third parties and, in fact, they may find the sensation of waiting for them pleasurable.
In the end, forcing oneself to be late to the sites is a way of creating the illusion that one is important enough so that everyone has to wait to enjoy their company. However, these cases are not too frequent.
2. Addiction to last-minute races
It may be difficult to understand, but the need to find shortcuts or methods to move forward quickly and the release of adrenaline that is associated with being late can be considered something of a sport: you arrive late for a kind of strange pleasure.
And as such, it is possible that it generates addiction. So, it is understandable that some people take it as such, although in an unconscious way, and take advantage of the slightest appointment or meeting as an excuse to live a little adventure against the clock.
3. You do not want to arrive before your time
This motive is the most sensible from a cost-benefit logic. There are many reasons why someone may not want to arrive a minute before the agreed time, and none of these must be the intention to cause problems to others.
- Wait is unproductive . Arriving early can be perceived as a waste of time. It does not give the feeling of serving a clear utility. Faced with the prospect of arriving too early and not doing anything for a while, it is possible that many people delay their departure precisely by doing things that are apparently productive, such as cleaning the house, reading a book or even taking time to rest, something that I could do it while waiting. Ironically, this drive towards productivity that leads to chronic retardation would probably not be present if you did not have the perception of having to choose between that or spend an unproductive time in the place agreed for the meeting.
- It's boring . Arriving ahead of time means spending a moment of monotony and discomfort. Waiting for someone supposes being motionless for a few minutes, with nothing to do and without being able to go anywhere else. Just as it is known that the other person may be upset if he or she has to wait a long time, the person who tends to be late knows that she can also be harmed if she has to wait.
- It affects the self-image . For some people, waiting is a small challenge in which we should look interesting and offer a positive image of oneself while remaining quiet because others have decided so. You can smoke, look at the smartphone, put calculated poses ... A situation similar to that which occurs when we go in an elevator with unknown people.
Some psychological conclusions
Definitely, for these people to arrive in advance is not something positive , but a possibility that must be avoided. Therefore, they discard the possibility of leaving a few minutes before (either due to a conscious or unconscious decision), they only have the option of arriving just at the agreed time or later. And, as the alternative "later" is composed of more moments than the first option, it is the most likely of the two possibilities. Result: Arrivals late , forever.
So you know: if you think that one of these three reasons explains most of the cases in which you are late, the main thing is to recognize and fight for this to stop being so. Just do not leave for tomorrow.
