Couples with age difference, are there risks?
That the statement "love does not understand age" enjoys a touch of romanticism very tempting, does not mean that this can be partly true and partly deceptive. Although neither love nor passion are contingent on a person's age, it may influence the relationship in a certain way.
There are many elements that make up and influence a relationship, and Couples with a large age difference may have to face a number of different risks to those of other types of couples.
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Is age a barrier to love?
There are many more couples with a large age difference than we usually perceive, since despite the fact that after a certain period of life the difference in age passes more unnoticed.
Nowadays, despite the evolution of beliefs and prejudices, there are still a series of conventions within today's society that tend to judge these couples negatively, especially within their own family or group of friends.
It seems that if this age difference is perceived in couples other than the person is better tolerated than if one of close touch. Well with a son or daughter, a brother or sister or a close friend.
However, despite these social restrictions, Is the difference in age between members of a couple a real drawback to their relationship? According to an investigation published by the North American publication The Atlantic those couples with an age difference of 5 years or more were 18% more likely to end up separating.
Despite these data, there are many factors that can influence the correct development, or not, of a relationship, with age being only one of them. The social context, shared experiences, education and the values received by both members they will play a very important role when reinforcing a couple's relationship with a great difference in age.
Therefore, age as a number in itself is not as important as the context in which each of both members have been raised and have lived, what ideology they have or what values or thoughts they have in certain issues; and these differences can be present in all types of couples, regardless of their age.
Finally, although age has associated a series of personal characteristics that may be a risk factor for the relationship, a relationship should be based on many other elements such as sexual complicity, personalities and complementary values and, most importantly, a common life project.
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Risks in a couple with age difference
As we mentioned earlier, age by itself does not have to be a barrier to maintaining a relationship. However, as in couples with very different cultures, a very uneven age between both partners can lead to a series of external risk factors that indicate the possibilities of going through some conflict within the relationship .
1. Opposition of the family
It is very common in couples with a large age difference that families and even the closest circle of friends Do not look kindly on your bond with a much younger or much older couple.
In these cases, the objective of each member of the couple will be to talk with their relatives, explain the situation and change their way of seeing the relationship, in order to normalize the situation. Otherwise, this can be a true source of anguish for each of them, since they can not share time with both of them and they may end up having to choose between their partner or their family.
2. Differentiated social context
Although this can occur in any type of couple, it is common that if there is a large age difference the social context of each one is very different and sometimes almost incompatible .
The circles of friends and the type of environments frequented can vary greatly between a person of 20 years and a person of 40, so if there is an equitable distribution of time spent with each other's friends or hobbies are shared In a balanced way, this can lead to a long-term conflict within the couple, since one of them may think that he is sacrificing his hobbies or friends.
In the event that this happens, showing a sincere interest in the likes and likings of the other, although these are relatively different from ours, will be an indispensable attitude to be able to compensate these dissimilarities .
A keen interest in the other's questions, even if by age itself those questions "fall far" in current life experience, will be essential, but without falling into the self-deception of believing that they can be lived as own issues that only You can live with emotion when age and circumstances accompany it.
3. Differences in performance or sexual dynamics
Although there are currently hundreds of measures to maintain a satisfactory sex life, it is true that sexuality is evolving and changing with age.
For example, a man with a much older age than his sexual partner may need more stimulation time and possibly have a somewhat lower performance, so if this fact is not addressed in the right way can generate feelings of frustration or anguish at.
However, an adequate understanding and an interest in sexually satisfying the couple will be of great help when it comes to avoiding possible complications. In the same way, with the help of sexual therapy, these couples can enjoy an absolutely satisfying sex life.
As we have previously specified, these risk factors are external to the couple, so if this has a strong and healthy relationship and the rest of the elements of the relationship are relatively intact, none of the above factors must be a real problem. .
4. Different short-term goals
Age is often associated with different life goals, and sometimes, these do not fit. For example, it is possible that the older person has a greater interest in having children or in establishing the relationship, while the person who is younger usually lives the relationships in a more liberal way, without so many ties. Managing this type of asymmetry is key .
Is it the same in men than in women?
Although generally couples with a large age difference are subjected to the judgment of society or the context that surrounds them, these moral or value judgments will not be the same if the woman is much older than if the man is .
Differences in prejudice between men and women still appear in most areas of daily life, and relationships were not going to be less. As a general rule, unions in which women are considerably older than men tend to generate rejection by society. Whereas if a man of mature age is paired with a much younger woman is socially more acceptable and even a reason to admire him.
This fact can also be a risk factor when maintaining a relationship, since the pressure that society exerts on the woman can make her think better, break or deprive herself of maintaining an affective and sexual relationship with a woman. couple much younger than her.