Gerontofilia: types, symptoms and treatments
Usually, most people tend to be sexually interested by people with ages close to or similar to their own (up to about a decade above or below is usually the most common). But there are also couples of very discordant ages. Although it is not very common at present, it has nothing of pathological in itself if this union is between people of legal age who consent and in which there is no abuse or use of circumstances that limit the ability to consent.
However, there are cases of people who present intense sexual fantasies and are attracted exclusively or almost exclusively by stimuli that the majority of society considers anomalous and that generally include non-consenting persons or animals, inanimate objects or relationships of pain / submission among peers of bed. When this attraction generates an upset to the person or to others , is practically the only type of stimulus that generates sexual attraction and / or generates limitations in the life of the subject or of his sexual partner we will be talking about a paraphilia.
Within paraphilia we can find a type that, although rare, is subject to some controversy since its inclusion within the paraphilias could only occur to generate discomfort or limitations to the subject or partner: gerontofilia or attraction for the very old people . It's about her that you're going to talk about in this article.
- Related article: "Filias y parafilias: definition, types and characteristics"
The gerontofilia: basic definition
Gerontofilia receives the sexual attraction towards elderly or elderly people being the subject that feels that attraction considerably younger . The age difference that is usually considered is at least 35 years of age of differential. The person in question has recurrent sexual fantasies with the elderly, this characteristic being the one that exclusively or almost exclusively generates sexual arousal.
It is important to keep in mind and stress that when we talk about gerontofilia we do not talk about a spontaneous crush for someone of advanced age. A person with gerontofilia feels an attraction that is not so much derived from knowing a person but from the fact that this one is old. In other words, what awakens the sex drive is that of an elderly or elderly person , regardless of how the person is.
As a paraphilia, the interest maintained is in principle merely sexual, although in some cases the gerontofilo and the object of his desire can maintain a romantic relationship.
The classification of gerontofilia as a paraphilia can be controversial , because paraphilia is often confused with having a relationship with someone much older. But the truth is that one thing does not imply the other: you can have a relationship with an elder and the person who does it does not have to enter the category of gerontofilo. In fact, gerontofilia is a paraphilia only if it generates a clinically significant malaise, if it supposes a functional limitation in the day-to-day of the or if the only stimulus that awakens sexual desire is old age as such.
- Maybe you're interested: "The 3 phases of old age, and their physical and psychological changes
Basic types
There are two basic types of gerentofilia, or rather we could find mainly with two types of attraction towards people of the third age.
1. Alfamegamia
The first one is alphamegamia , in which there would be a sexual attraction on the part of a person (male or female) towards young men much older and within the third age.
2. Matronolagnia
The other type corresponds to sexual attraction to older women by much younger men or women , receiving this case the name of matronolagnia.
Causes of gerontofilia at paraphilic level
Although the relationships between people of different ages do not have to imply the presence of gerontofilia, in the cases in which a paraphilia is being discussed, the question of what is it that makes this fixation appear with seniors . In this sense there are many explanations that can be found. It should be noted that we talk about paraphilia, not the fact of falling in love with someone who happens to be that age.
One of them tells us about the presence of an insecure personality, dependent or in need of protection, who would see in the fact of being an elder a stimulus that has traditionally been associated with wisdom, experience, protection and warmth. This vision of old age can cause some people to be born with a certain sexual desire towards these characteristics, which make them feel safe.
It is also possible that it arises in the context of people who they feel unable to relate successfully with people their age (Something that also happens in some cases of pedophilia).
Another possibility is born of conditioning: it is possible that in a situation of sexual arousal, the image or some kind of stimulus related to old age may have appeared casually, which later may have been positively reinforced (for example through masturbation).
Related to this have also been observed cases in which the existence of this type of attraction it is derived from traumatic experiences , as sexual abuse in childhood, in which somehow the sexual act has been normalized with people much older than the subject itself. Sexual arousal has been associated with the difference in age or with old age, acquiring in general the attraction towards elderly certain compulsive dye.
Also, another possible reason can be found in the fragility of the elderly or the fact of having someone to take care of: the elderly are usually people with weak health, who may require help and may have some dependence. Some people may find sexually stimulating the fact of being necessary and helping the elderly .
The opposite pole would be found in the search for domination-submission relationships: an old man may be more fragile than his partner, something that puts the gerontofilo in a position of certain superiority at the level of physical power. In this case it is necessary to be especially careful to the possibility that there is an attempt of abuse towards the elder in question, There may be humiliating components that seek to subdue the elderly .
Treatment
The treatment of any paraphilia is a complex matter, which requires taking into account a large number of factors and variables.
In the case of gerontofilia the first thing that must be taken into account is if there really is a paraphilia as such , something that can be more complex than it seems at first glance. First and as we have repeated throughout the article to have an age couple very different from their own does not make the subject a gerontofilo, this being only a paraphilia when it supposes a clinically significant malaise, limits the person's life or generates damage to the couple. In this way it is necessary to exclude couples of discordant ages with age difference, as well as relationships based on interest.
But even if there is discomfort it is important to assess the reason, given that the experience of discomfort may be generated solely by social disapproval or the internalization of this.
In the case of working with the paraphilia itself it will be necessary to assess what it is that makes the subject the old age is the almost exclusive object of desire, what aspects it considers relevant and the repercussions that this situation has on him.
As well will work aspects such as safety and self-esteem , as well as social skills and problem solving, in cases where the attraction is solely due to being considered incapable of dealing with people of similar chronological age or in case what attracts is the need to feel necessary.
Another type of intervention will be necessary if it arises from the experience of traumatic experiences, which should be worked on. Also in the case that it is due to aspects related to power and submission, being especially vigilant of the existence of any possible abuse towards elders with whom they have a relationship.
But all this could only be necessary if it is something that has not been chosen and is lived with discomfort on the part of the parties involved . In another case, we must bear in mind that after all and when it is such, love has no age.
