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How to apologize for an infidelity, in 7 steps

How to apologize for an infidelity, in 7 steps

June 20, 2024

Many of the couple's crises are caused by problems of infidelity, with their subsequent lack of confidence and changes in the way in which the relationship is seen. Normally this is lived with great stress and frustration on the part of both members of the couple, and the feeling of guilt is frequent, even in the person who has not commented on the infidelity.

While it is true that in many cases the simple fact that this deception has occurred is reason enough for one of the members of the couple to decide to break the relationship and move away permanently, in other cases the situation can be reversed if the problem of root is solved and honestly seeks the forgiveness of those who have been deceived by a lover. Apologizing for an infidelity is a fundamental step to recompose the relationship.

  • Related article: "Infidelity: the second most important problem in relationships"

How to ask for forgiveness after an infidelity: reconnect

In the following lines we will see several tips about the role that forgiveness should have after an infidelity and how to apologize after an event of this type.

1. Assume that you do not have to forgive

The person who has suffered infidelity has the right not to accept the apology and to terminate the relationship without giving further explanations. If it is the case, it is totally inappropriate and harmful to blame it, because nobody is obliged to give second chances. It is necessary to undertake the task of apologizing considering this , and that at the first sign that the other person wants to be alone and does not want to talk to whoever has been unfaithful, his decision must be respected.

2. Ask about their own needs

Before apologizing, we must consider if infidelity is not in fact the symptom that you do not want to be in that relationship. Asking yourself this question can be hard, but It is necessary to avoid wasting time and frustrations to the other person and to oneself.

3. Have the initial talk

You have to talk about it, expressly ask for forgiveness and forge new, very concrete commitments, so that the other person has the ability to see if there are advances in them or if they act as if they did not exist.

This talk should take place in a quiet place and in which there is intimacy, and its tone should be serious, so that honesty is allowed and double meanings are avoided. Of course, you must avoid having it remotely, either by text message or phone call. Something so important deserves to be face to face . In this way, the implication will be much greater.

  • Maybe you're interested: "The 10 basic communication skills"

4. Assume responsibility

The only person responsible for infidelity is who commits it. Having this clear is absolutely essential, since otherwise, if it is reflected in the conversation that the other person is also responsible, a totally undeserved and unfair feeling of guilt will be introduced.

5. More actions and fewer words

Infidelity is a betrayal of a person's trust. Someone who has made sacrifices to be with his partner, who has missed opportunities that in single life would not have missed, and who has invested time and effort in the relationship. Therefore, it is not enough to simply say "I'm sorry". You have to show a significant change in the way you behave every day, in the way of living the relationship and generating habits.

6. Do not do it to compensate, but to build

The idea that asking for forgiveness for an infidelity consists of compensating for the wrong part of an incorrect approach about what is happening. If this were so, once it is considered that past infidelity has been compensated, everything should go back to how it was before, deceptions included .

The idea to follow is another: qualitatively transform the relationship to make it based on honesty and trust. In this way, the need to seek the forgiveness of the other person is transformed into something useful and meaningful: a way to give rise to the evolution of the relationship.

7. Open and be transparent

The whole process of asking for forgiveness for an infidelity is to be vulnerable and show confidence, making the other person have reasons to have more confidence in those who have cheated on them before. Yes, do not obsess about the idea of ​​not keeping any secret , since everyone has the right to keep secrets as long as they do not directly affect the other person who shares his life with her, and provided they are not numerous.

In addition, trying to be completely transparent can have a rebound effect, being something virtually impossible, gives an excuse to seek exceptions to this rule knowing that it is absurd not to have secrets.

Force Your Ex To Forgive You With These 7 Tips (June 2024).

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