How to be more pleasant with others: 8 tips
Know how to be nice in dealing with others It can be a crucial element when creating social bonds. And is that beyond our knowledge, skills and interests, something as simple as knowing how to make people feel comfortable around us predisposes them to adopt a positive attitude towards us.
In this article we will see several basic tips about how to be nice to others and make sympathy flow. Modifying our habits based on these ideas can be helpful in making friends, dealing with neighbors and colleagues, etc.
- Related article: "7 steps to know how to create better conversations"
How to be more pleasant: guidelines to follow
In personal relationships, not only does it matter what one is, understood as what defines us psychologically, but it also greatly influences how we show ourselves to others. And it is that although the human mind can adopt infinite details and nuances that make each individual unique, when socializing there are a few details that are able to make a difference in the process of making a good impression on others.
The truth is that what sets the tone of a dialogue is not what is said, but the elements that are often non-verbal and that accompany communication and that structure it. Let's see how to take advantage of this to make a conversation adopt a friendly tone in which the other person feels welcome.
1. Maintain eye contact
This is one of the classic tips in relation to personal relationships and communication, because it has different facets. On the one hand, not looking into the eyes expresses insecurity or the will to hide something, but on the other hand, at the same time it generates a rarefied environment in which our interlocutors do not feel comfortable.
Thus, maintaining eye contact is one of the minimum requirements to be pleasant in a conversation, although, of course, it is not enough. Obviously you do not have to look at each other's eyes constantly , since trying to do this is artificial and disturbing. It is best to look at the face of the person with whom we speak and try not to separate it for long periods.
2. Take into account the cultural level of the other
Culture can be divided into many fields of knowledge, and it is most likely that the person you are talking to at a particular time does not know as much about you as you do about them. Assuming that you are going to understand the references you use or the concepts that you appeal to explain something is not the most appropriate.
Think that if it's about technicalities or lines of reasoning belonging to highly specialized areas of knowledge , and you constantly resort to them, you will disturb the other person. Not because you feel bad about not knowing what you're talking about, but about the fact that to understand what you say has to interrupt you.
So, if it is necessary to refer to those concepts, explain before what they are.
- Maybe you're interested: "15 interesting and fun conversation topics"
3. Do not be afraid of silence
A good conversation can be full of silences. For that reason, it is better not to be afraid of those moments in which nobody speaks, than to say anything just to avoid having to go through those kinds of situations. What makes some silences uncomfortable is not the lack of words per se , but the context in which they occur and, above all, the way in which we react to them.
4. Shows interest in the other person
It is important that the other person can talk about what they consider important about the moment they are going through in a particular area of their life, or in their life in general, depending on the purpose of the conversation . Ask questions about what may be of interest or concern, and listen.
5. Do not adopt a paternalistic attitude
Some people confuse the ability to give advice on a subject that is dominated, with the power to treat other people as if they were children or did not know anything about life. It is convenient to avoid this and keep in mind that each person has their own criteria and capacity to know what is best in each moment.
6. Remember what matters about each person
The fact of remembering details about the people with whom we have spoken in the past shows interest and is generally answered with gratitude by others , especially if what we keep in our memory is something personal beyond the basic data such as name or age.
7. Uses a relaxed non-verbal language
Try not to use non-verbal language that shows you are defensive. For example, keep your arms crossed or curl up in the chair you sit on while talking. It is better to be relaxed, with the members relatively far from the vertical that marks our thorax.
8Take care of your personal hygiene
Beyond the style you use to dress, hygiene is essential. The simple fact of not respecting this guideline makes people physically stay more distant , with the consequent impact for social relations.
- Graziano, W. G. (2002). Agreeableness: Dimension of Personality or Social Desirability Artifact? Journal of Prsonality, 70 (5), pp. 695-728.