How to close an emotional cycle, in 6 steps
Humans we tend to experience what surrounds us as if it were a narrative .
Beyond the knowledge that describes things, as do the encyclopedias and the manuals, we like to see things interpreting them as if they were stories: not something fixed and immobile, but something fluid and moving. Our own identity, without going any further, is a set of memories about ourselves that we are unconsciously encouraging to give a narrative form: from the past to the future.
Therefore, we also experience emotions as if they were narrative arcs. In this article we will see how to close an emotional cycle and, in this way, we can turn the page and give dynamism to our psychological development, avoiding stagnation.
- Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"
What is closing an emotional cycle?
By closing emotional cycles we understand the fact of assigning a meaning of completion to a stage of our life. That is, to feel that it has had a beginning, a development and an outcome. However, beyond this simple definition, there is an emotional factor linked to the feeling of personal development. It is not the same to feel that a stage of our lives has ended, to feel that it has ended and also realize that this has made us improve .
It is essential that when closing emotional cycles there are reasons to believe in this evolution and sense of improvement. Otherwise, it is very likely that there will be a fear of falling into the same mistakes as before, given that nothing has been learned from them.
The desire for completion
If we aspire to close emotional cycles giving meaning to a past stage, it is because in general we do not like to live together with the tension generated by the idea that there are things pending in our lives .
This phenomenon is called the Zeigarnik effect, and it tells us that we pay more attention to those things that we feel have not ended. If what we are trying to do is overcome a phase of life that has been colored by sadness and emotional pain in general, the obsessions with the feeling of not moving forward can make us feel stuck.
A paradox is thus created: there is a desire to finish that stage, but as time passes each time less is believed in that output . Therefore, closing the emotional cycle is important to avoid falling into self-fulfilling prophecy (pessimism reduces our chances of progressing).
- Maybe you're interested: "Zeigarnik effect: the brain can not bear to be left alone"
How to end emotionally stages of our lives
To move on to another chapter of your life, follow these guidelines when it comes to ending an emotional cycle.
1. Think about the beginning of the cycle
Have a clear picture of the time when the emotional cycle began helps identify what can lead us to close it . For example, the appearance of a problem (the illness of a relative, a dismissal from work, etc.).
2. Think about how you felt
We must go beyond the simple description of objective facts. Stop to think about what was your emotional reaction in this first phase of the cycle, both positive and negative aspects .
3. Remember how you tried to advance
At this point, remember what were the initiatives you had to make the situation go forward, both in the objective criteria and in those that have to do with your feelings.
4. Do not omit your mistakes
Errors and failures are inherent to life, and keeping them out of our memories does not help if what we want is to make them make sense to us . In short, we must learn from them to be able to notice that the most significant events of this stage led us to a final stage in which we closed the cycle.
5. Think of the direction that can take you to close the cycle
With the things you have in mind after having gone through the previous steps, it is already possible to see a trend that can lead you to close the cycle in the most positive and constructive way possible.
In the same way that a series of points can cause us to estimate a trend or direction if we join them together, recapitulating what we have gone through is easy see what completion solutions they are more realistic and which ones are not.
Especially, it is important to take into account the latter: the reasonable and realistic solution that comes to mind. In imagination all ideas seem equally realizable, but in practice, we know that their application to reality creates inequalities between these options.
6. Go to the call to action
It is very complicated to close an emotional cycle simply through introspection. Because, Make your exit from this phase be reflected in an action or a series of actions , so that you can give it a solidity or physical structure that shows your progress. In this way, you will be demonstrating that the person who entered that emotional cycle is not exactly the same person that came out of it.
